would you?

Whilst I can understand some folk saying they stopped after 1, 2, or 3 because they couldn`t afford any more, I thought that every time I was pregnant, but the money always stretched somehow, and we weren`t scroungers, my husband always worked, plus me for a good few years. When we were receiving Family Allowance, as it was then called, it wasn`t given for the first child, only from the second onwards.

Whilst I would have loved a daughter, after 3 sons, no way would I have continued! I am not the most maternal of people anyway, and struggled quite a lot with them when they were younger. Teen years I found much easier! That said, I am loving time spent with gorgeous step grandson.

No I would not have carried on having children, I had one of each and that was enough. Did not see the point of putting myself through years of sleepless nights and washing of terry nappies, I didn't know then that they would invent decent disposables and folding buggies.

I had three. Two daughters - 23 months apart - and then when my girls were 11 and 13 a son.

So happy to have daughters and a son - the best of both worlds!

I don't agree with the OP's son, for example traditional Catholic countries released themselves from the shackles of large families a while back. In Italy it's unusual for women to want molto bambini anymore, the birth rate is now very low with many couples opting for just one child or none. Possibly economic factors have influenced their decisions, fewer young Italians are abe to set up home together and find themeselves living with their parents. Although I also imagine like any culture where women don't or didn't have the option to conrol how many children they have, the perception could also be that large families could mean a life of drudgery.

I'm happy having had two, my husband already had two teenagers when we married but was prepared to have another two (maximum) although he did approach fatherhood again with some trepidation far more aware of the various stages than I was. In hindsight, I wouldn't want to revisit my first son's teenage years again, somewhat challenging, so no on balance I'm glad I didn't have a third one in case he or she would have been more like my 1st than my much easier 2nd. I did want a girl but once I knew my 2nd child was a boy, I made up my mind to accept that, you get what you are given and to stop longing for something that is not to be. Although happily a girl did come along later in the form of our granddaughter.

We have 3, one of each.

It still makes me laugh after all these years.

I had three children and one miscarriage. I would have liked 4 children but by the time number three arrived I was absolutely exhausted.

I did. I had 11. Hated being pregnant but loved my babies. Wouldn't have wanted it any different.

That must have been a terrible experience as a child 1974 cookie.

Couldn't agree more Jangran99

My response to the voluntarily childless who rant about subsidising "other people's children" is to point out that when they are dribbling and gaga it is those very children who may be their carers! I have two children and four grandchildren and make no apology for accepti g family allowance. Every pennywe earned was spent on our children's needs right up to university.

Sorry thought I saw the word single, but I was wrong on that account but I stand by my statement not because I am looking, as you put it, to be offended but because we just don't know the circumstances that put them in that position. I would agree that there are many that play the system but you can't punish those that don't. I also paid tax and still do but I would rather my money was spent supporting people rather than on say war. Rant over.

I'd have liked six, plus two labradors. Instead, I have four children, two of each, spaced over 21 years, and sundry cats.

Three of mine are now married and one is at uni and actually, juggling time for them all plus grandchildren keeps me busy enough, heaven knows how six would have been!

1974cookie that is so sad. I hope you have others in your life who you love and who love you.

I had a maiden great-aunt who lived with her unmarried brother and our family looked upon them as an additional set of grandparents. They were dearly loved by all.

Barmyoldbat, where did peaseblossom say anything about single women? I think you are waiting to be offended. If you read it, it is says something to the effect that some people have too many children and that it's unfair when those that don't work live off benefits. I agree with her!

I have 2, one of each. Always swore that if I'd have had my son first, then he'd have been an only child, he was a nightmare. (I actually gave birth to him whilst the Exorcist theme was in my birth CD - enough said!) Before I had my daughter I swore I never wanted to have children, wasn't maternal whatsoever.

I wish that I had Children.
I wish that I had someone around to tell me that what I saw my Mum go through when giving birth was normal. I was absolutely terrified as a teenager to see her in such pain as I was on my own with her as she gave birth. She screamed out in pain. I now know this is normal, but I was so really bloody scared at the time.
It put me off for life.
And now I am crying for my missed babies for the first time in my life.

So Peaseblossom in your statement single women with loads of children living off benefits, does this include widows, widowers, and abused women?

I also planned to have four but after number three one of the real old midwives (over 40 years ago) told me I had used up all my luck and not to have any more. I didn't!

After having a very easy time with DD1 my second was a wide-awake, screaming nightmare till she was six months old, which very nearly put me off having another. She's been the most delightful child/teenager/adult you could possibly imagine ever since! I'm so glad we took the plunge and had a third. Ideally I'd have loved to have had four, but we agreed that we would have struggled financially. When I look back on the year when all three of them were at university, I don't know how we managed!

Reading some of the sad stories on this thread makes me feel even more thankful for what we have.

That's a strange thing to say. I don't think it's true at all. Children are a handful and the more you have obviously the more difficult life is. They can be exhausting and very expensive. Having my babies was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's such a special time when you've just given birth and have a wonderful baby to look after. I also think it's irresponsible having too many children. The world is overpopulated as it is. It makes me mad all these people who have loads of children and everybody else is subsidising them with their taxes. I'm talking particularly about people that don't work and just live off benefits. I don't think anyone should have more than three children and child benefit should be stopped after the first child. Why should other people have to subsidise your children? My sister has always said no one should have more than two children so you're just replacing yourselves, but I think that's going a bit too far especially with death from illness and war.

As far as I was concerned I had 3 , two children and a now ex husband who acted liked a child. That was enough

I always wanted more but had real difficulty when pregnant, whhen I was 23 I lost baby one at 10weeeks carried the twin until seven and a half months ,she only lived 3 days,had my second daughter 16 months later right on her due date and my son 10 years later 11 weeks early ,pre eclampsia and 5 other miscarriages in between the two surviving children.Right up to my mid forties I'd have loved another ,it didn't happen.But I became a granny at 49 ,when my only grandson was born then we had 3 wee grandaughters with around 2 years between them .I had all four this weekend ..and I was happy to see them go home ...lol.I looked after the eldest two from they were weeks old so my daughter could go back to work early ,she had severe PND and the doctor advised work ,and I have the middle of the three girls (my sons daughter) half oof every week for over 5 years since her parents split up and her dad still lives at home with us.So I've had lots of babies to care for

2 girls was plenty for me.

MaizieD - I have heard it said that a 'difficult' baby is the most effective contraceptive!