gifts or money-which is best?

Those of you who give money, is that cash or a cheque? I used to send cheques but when I realised that the DGC's parents found getting to a bank to pay it in to be a chore (they all do internet banking but we don't) I had to resort to cash.

I'm afraid I've become a bit disillusioned about the whole thing. We give money to them, they give money to us, what's the point?

I always enjoyed buying gifts when people could give me a list of ideas to choose from, thus ensuring that they got what they wanted, and I spent what I could afford, but now even my 10 year old granddaughter has no idea of what she would like as she literally has too much already. Send the kids money these days and the vast majority don't even say thank you without prompting, let alone know what they've spent it on if you ask later, so again, what's the point?

Think hubby and I might just ignore the whole thing this year and see what happens, could be interesting!!

No, not an old Grump, just fed up with the commercialism that's taken over our lives.

Ask if they have an amazon gift list - you can still choose but from a big list of likes ?

Like most children these days our grandchildren could all open toy shops. At parents' request this year it will be money and a very small present to open on Christmas Day. Far from being a cop out, we think it a more sensible option to go in their accounts for future.

I like to buy presents for the little ones - after consultations with parents. Teenage relatives get gift vouchers eg amazon, itunes, Body shop, wh smith or book /music tokens acording to preference. Don't like giving money - seems a cop out but i do if thats what they asked for. We always ask for 'ideas' in the family.

Buy presents for son and daughter. Which they suggest. Maybe a little surprise as well. son in law v. Hard to buy for as he is not v interested in material possessions. Small present for grand daughter and a cheque for her bank account. I call it her college fund but daughter laughs and says she is going to be a plumber!

Money. I rarely see any of my family as they all live so far away. I send my granddaughter one big cheque so she can get the children suitable presents. Same with my niece who has three grown up sons and they usually spend it on a meal out. I used to send my teenage great granddaughter a voucher but have since learned in the media that many vouchers are not used thus profiting the shop owners, so she now gets a cheque. The charity shops are full of unwanted presents after Christmas.

I give up around 13ish - I haven't a clue and would get it wrong so prefer to give money (NOT gift cards, they're more of a pain than anything, we have unspent gift cards we've been given, they can be a bit of a waste)

I'm lucky in that the teen girls I know are very "girly" so a lip balm to open goes down well (not all girls would like that I appreciate that) and the boys are all happy with some chocolate to open with money in cards.

Alternatively for close friends kids/god children I like to take them somewhere instead of giving gifts when they get to tween/teen: a west end show or sport event or convention depending on their interests. Obviously this is very expensive so only for the ones I'm very close to

I only have a few people to buy for, DM who I am seeing in December has said we will go shopping when I visit (she is 87 so not a lot she wants). DD wants money this year, small present for under tree, her OH I am adding to a collection of Football Pins which I started last year (November Birthday) & small present, DGS is 6 so he still gets a stocking & Presents in consultation with DD. Small gift for a friend who joins us for Christmas Dinner, small gifts for a couple of friends.

I would rather give money/vouchers unless they express a wish for something (Family). My DD has already asked what I would like -I'm practical as I usually want something for the Home

We do the other way round - birthday gift and Christmas money.
I think whatever suits your family, as ours usually spend the day with us the great time we have is gift enough. I know some are not so lucky to have family close, we always sent money when living abroad.
They also send thank you letters for any pressies they do receive. Great gran taught them this.
I think we worry too much , what is meant to be a cosy holiday is too stressfu nowadays.

Gift vouchers I can not understand. they limit what you can buy and often have an expiry date. Bank of England gift vouches can be spent anywhere and do not expire.

I usually talk to my DS and DD in good time who refer me to their and their children's Amazon wish lists. I then decide what I want to buy them and distribute money accordingly by bank transfer. Simples. and everyone gets what they want and a present to unwrap under the tree. Going Christmas shopping in London lost its charm long ago!

I also spend a fortune on stocking fillers, but trying to cut down on these. It's always been a big thing in our family.

I would hate to have a Christmas without presents under the tree, but I guess it will come as the DGDs get older?

We generally give money of gift vouchers for birthdays but I do buy gifts for one of my son's family for Christmas as we usually have a list. The other one is in NZ so sending gifts is difficult but I have bought the little ones something this year and need to figure out the cheapest way to get them over there. The first year my eldest gs (now 3) was born I carefully packed up a large box only to find it was going to cost £180 to send it!! Everything had to be unpacked and taken from it's packaging and squashed into a much smaller box thus spoiling the surprise. We have found the local shopping centre in Auckland do an online service so will look at that to find some other small gifts for them as well but money for the adults is much more appreciated.

My solution is 'money of sorts' I do ious for 'a meal at a place of your choice'. 'An item of clothing which we will shop for together'. Your choice my pleasure budget suggested but not finite. This has the double pleasure of the recipient getting exactly what they want, we have the bonus of a specific meeting with them etc. Obviously this is distant dependent but it's amazing what can be achieved. Certainly has proven successful for me........ Oh and the inclusion of a reasonable offer expiry date has proven helpful. Therefore I'm not 'in debt' ad infinitude.

We give our GC a smallish gift, £20 or so plus a cash gift for their parents to put towards something bigger when they want it.

When my children were small they had so many toys they had things that rarely or never got used. MIL always bought gifts and didn't always consult us. My own mother always sent money as she was further away and we spent it appropriately on her behalf so the children had something labelled from her. We saved some of the money so that when an expensive item, eg a bike, was needed it wasn't the only thing they got. Knowing how wasteful and duplicated some of the spending was back then I favour money unless a specific gift is requested.

Money for older GC for birthdays but presents at Christmas. I still buy for my sons too (& their wives of course)- I can't let Christmas go by without the present opening thing. Love it!

However sons only buy for each other's children not each other but they do buy us something too.

When niece and nephews got to early teens I started giving them a large bar of chocolate and some cash in a small card. We made the decision as a family to stop giving pressies once they reached 18.

So now the only people I have to buy for is my youngest son (don't see the other one or his family) who usually has something he can tell me about plus the expensive smellies he likes, and my Dad. Perfect, and no stress.
My OH and myself don't buy for each other.

Now that my children and nieces are grown up I give them all money. It's more than I'd like to give and less than they expect to receive but they can 'put it towards' something they want. My dearest youngest bought herself a Mulberry handbag in the sales last year by putting together similar contributins plus her year's bonus. I am glad to have bought the handle or the buckle!

I give gifts to the appreciative ones who email with comments and thanks re what I have chosen - that really makes the spending, choosing, wrapping, sending worthwhile (quite a task when all is added up)! From some of the family, however, I get no reaction so don't even know if the gift has arrived unless I ask. They get money now - sometimes tempted to send nothing, but I always relent in the end!

Now they're older it's money, or if I know they use the shop, gift cards. Currently I send iTunes cards, Boots gift cards and Book tokens to those who have expressed a preference but otherwise it's money. Things are far too expensive to get something not really wanted. My favourite part is buying presents for the 6 year old and buying stocking fillers which, as already mentioned, can cost quite a bit.
Makes me laugh when I think my childhood Christmas presents used to be hair ribbons, hankies and fancy shaped soaps from relatives. One or two books and an annual from my parents and a family game to share. One year we got bikes for combined birthday/xmas presents. Wow! I thought Christmas was great.

Money is by far the best. It enables people to buy what they want and IN THE SALES. I am so distressed by the debt that people get themselves in to just to have the gifts wrapped and under the tree, when better value by far will be available in a day or two.

Teach young people the value of anticipation and judicious spending.

We can shop on line all over Christmas (if we must) and bag those bargains without requiring anyone to work over the holidays........fills a big gap for some people who have nothing better to do.

Undercut the Christmas hype and give cash......but not until the big day otherwise it may be frittered away on overpriced toot.

i give money at Christmas and Birthdays. When I have been travelling I bring back small gifts.

For us money on birthdays, but gifts at Christmas, but gifts that are carefully researched, even asking the recipient directly what they would like and making it clear what the budget is.