could it be the bed?

Try one of these pillows. I'm on my second one. They last for 10-15 years and are perfect if you want a cool head. I used to get lots of headaches, I blamed an over soft pillow. I hardly ever suffer from headaches now.

Have you tried a silk duvet & pillows?

If you can't sleep,just get up and do all those jobs you keep putting off

get another double bed. Mattress toppers are fantastic. Get advice from John Lewis bedding department re firmness of mattress they are really knowledgeable.

Years ago we used to sleep on a horsehair paliasse with a flock bed on top. There were not half as many bad backs then as there is now.
I have tried many mattresses over the years including an electric one but I cant say I was over excited with it.
I can only sleep on my back due to metal plates and pins in both hips that I have broken over the years and strangely enough I can get a decent sleep in my recliner that I can put in any position to suit me.
I very often sleep in the recliner now because the hip I broke in three places this time last year has not knitted together and with having a pin in the other one I cant sleep on my side so the recliner has been a Godsend to me. I have been offered a complete hip replacement BUT been told it could be very complex with all the metal and pins having to be removed before anything being done to replace the hip and there is no guarantee that I will be any better off. At my age which is 86 I will stick with the pain that I have and keep it in check with the doctors help and pain killers, plus my comfortable recliner.

I moaned to my husband about his snoring and he bought a device that gives him a rather unpleasant 'jolt' if he snores.

The funny thing (to me at least) is that, if I snore, that also gives him a jolt.

I wonder if refugees have these mattress problems?

I used to suffer with aches on the previous mattress which was quite new but too firm and the fabric was not as plush or the same quality. I love my new bed now

Just for information I got a medium to firm mattress with a plush topper built in. So it's very comfortable and soft but reasonably firm from the mattress. Mid range priced. Definitely recommend going there and not the big high street stores who charge double and more

I recently bought a new bed from the store Mattressman and I was amazed at how many diffferent types of mattresses there are. I spent a long time discussing the types and finally found one I thought would suit me. The staff were very helpful and knowledgeable, not the usual pushy salesman types. The best bed I've had in my life. Worth every penny.

Jordana
Have a look at wool pillows, they're lovely and are great at regulating body temperature.
Ours are from 'thewoolroom.com', we started off with 'classic wool' but have now splashed out on Kingsized Alpaca pillows (the pillows are king sized, they're not from Giant Alpacas!) and they're brilliant!
They're not the cheapest, but are worth every penny, a good night's sleep is priceless!

So many spelling errors on my last post!

Thank you everyone for your comments and plenty of suggestions. As I said, my hubby has his own bedroom so we don,t disturb one another. He has a memory fon mattress and loves it! He also had memory foam pillow for years but then developed a stiff neck quite often so just has foam pillow. As for me, I tried his bed for a few nights and hated it, I looked up buckwheat pillows,but reviews said they were hard and noisy so I don,t think they are for me. Hungarian goose down pillows seem to have a good review but are pretty expensive, a bad mistake if it doesn't, t work. Hubby said it would be worth it though. Last night was bad and today I am shattered. It makes me swing between very rabbit and very emotional and completely passed off! I hope you understand my frustration as I am sure you will. Oh well, maybe just forget the lavender and camomile and this and that and just do what my grandson does and hit the nightclubs!

Own bed, memory foam topper , soft synthetic pillow, low tog duvet cover and eat early...around 6 pm and then maybe a few almonds and a little milk before bed, I have tried everything and cannot sleep if I eat a meal any time aftre 7pm....wake after 4 hours and burn up trying to digest the calories.

I use an old high tog duvet as a mattress topper. I have hip and sciatica problems and it has helped enormously.

If your mattress is too soft, try putting a sheet of plywood under it which will help stiffen it up before you decide to buy another one.

We also have a memory foam mattress which we invested in when we both started getting backache from our previous bed. You definitely need to try it first. We spent literally hours trying different ones, more than we've ever done before, and then liked different types so had to compromise on our second choices which we did agree on.

I don't find it hot at all but if you do I gather you can reduce this by using a cotton undersheet. It did take some time to get used to but it certainly cuts down the amount of tossing and turning.

If you do go for one of these, buy from the place that allows you 3 months to try and then return it if it doesn't suit you. The Tempura website offers a 100 night trial but I think other manufacturers may also do something similar. They are certainly more expensive than an average mattress though you can often get a decent discount and most come with a 10 year guarantee.

Apparently people spend more on their cooker - and replace it more often - than their mattress which seems surprising when you think how long you use them for.

World service on the bbc. Starts around 1 am after the shipping forecast on radio 4 which is a good intro. Its so boring you will nod off. Works a treat. Or radio 5 although its a tad more interesting.

We bought a memory foam topper which was so comfortable, but I got hot and OH said he felt too hot and it was ruining his sleep. Our mattress was getting on a bit so we found a bed with a 'natural mattress'. It is wool, cotton, silk and cashmere. 'Sounds exotic but I suspect the label is the bit of silk and the cashmere is probably 1% of the filling, but nonetheless because it is all natural it is wonderful to sleep on - cool in summer and warm in winter. We bought it in the sales incidentally for half price. I then went mad over the next couple of years and changed everything for natural fibres - Egyptian cotton sheets, feather pillows, all cotton mattress topper, down duvet - and we sleep so much better now without anything synthetic. This stuff is not cheap initially, but I waited for sales and discounts so saving a lot of money. Oh - and Yoga is very good too for helping you relax before bed!

I had a similar problem, following an illness. My thoughts now are that 'things' may help a bit, but more important is reducing stress levels (the problem in itself causes stress even if you're usually a calm person). The biggest help I've found has been attending yoga and mindfulness classes (very good experienced teacher). It has given me a way of dealing with wakefulness without getting 'hot and bothered' about it.
By the way, I'm not an exemplary pupil in the class, but enjoy it nevertheless.

We have a regular pillow top mattress, but after my back operation I have added TWO memory foam toppers. One is firm (denser and on bottom), the other is soft and on top of the firm one. It makes for a high bed and I need deep pocket fitted sheets. They are both about 2-3". That's made a huge difference!

Our bedroom is kept cool, window cracked open a bit. I bought quality duvets so as not to sweat under weight. And like others, I use two pillows, one flatty, one a contour memory foam, to keep my neck/spine aligned.

I take sleep aids, too.

Hot and flustered...hmmm. Menopause? Even a long time after the hots can come back and bother you!

We have very soft mattress on our spare bed and it almost breaks my back! If we've sacrificed our bed to the old mother (it's downstairs and en suite,so better for her) I usually end up in the attic room on the day bed which is firm firm and more firm!

However, on the pillow front I have solved all my problems with a Bamboo pillow I bought on Groupon last year. It's almost like a double pillow, with one half made up of big "pockets". Lovely and soft but a good plump pillow so lots of support to the neck. It keeps cooler than normal pillows too.
Sadly, as I was looking to buy a spare I find they are very expensive ... around £80-90!

I have 2 pillows, the bottom one is an ordinary pillow the one under my head is memory foam and I adore it.

My mattress is memory foam and I have a memory foam topper on top. I bought the topper before I bought the mattress to see if I liked it and I did. I kept the topper because I felt that the mattress was not as deep as my previous one.

I do not think that it would be for you because although I am cold when I go to bed, I wake up in the middle of the night roasting hot and this is one of the problems with memory foam. I do not mind because it is easier to cool down than to get warm.

As others have said, maybe try many different mattresses and see how you feel. I also would not go bed hopping each night- that is not helping you get a decent night's sleep.

HI jordana and welcome. Please don't worry about moaning, that's what we are here for.

Have you tried a fan in the bedroom? I have a stand upy one (brain fog) and it has been a god send over the warmer months. I sleep on my own however, so your husband might have to invest in some thermals. Also I get my pillows from Lancashire Textiles, bounce back ones, lovely and snuggly but they don't go flat like others I have bought.

There is a dog cool pad which keeps pets cool but I have used the one I bought for my doggie under my feet and it really does work. Have a look on Amazon or ebay. They come in different sizes, in fact I do think they do a full body one for humans too.

Have you tried a memory foam topper for any of your beds? You can then sink into it as much as your body weight allows and it gives support all over. I have just got another one from Dreams as my old one had lost its memory.

There are also gel neck ties online too, which are filled with microbeads of gel and you put them in some cold water which swells the gel and then you can put them around pulse points, round the neck overnight is not a good idea but around your ankles or wrists maybe? They are only thin but do cool the body down a bit and are worth a go.

Also, do you suffer from restless leg syndrome at night? I do and I take an antihistamine tablet before bed to try to help. It works most of the time.

If you do worry about things as your are dropping off or find that you wake worrying, try to write things down before you go to bed. Write all your concerns down, however small and see if getting it out of your head helps to make you feel more relaxed.

Keep a radio station on very low. I sometimes sleep downstairs and have the tele on so that I feel someone is there and as a distraction to my illnesses or worries. At least that way I get some rest.

As you can tell, some people on here have tried lots of things to get to sleep and to stay asleep. I get between 2 and 4 hours a night, regardless of what time I go to bed. Let us know how you go on and happy zzzzzzzzzzz, I hope something works for you. X

Thank you all for your comments and I certainly will look up the website you mentioned Kate and I will try the buckwheat pillows minimise. I have never heard of them before. Maybe a good idea to take notes of before and after sleeping ana although I stop drinking tea or having chocolate before bed. I understand that what works for one person, does, t work for another! Such is life

Visit a store that specialises in beds and mattresses. DH has back problems and insomnia. There are so many different types of mattresses available you need to try a lot before you find the right one. Take your time choosing. Lay on the mattresses. You will know straight away which are definitely not for you. Once you've narrowed it down leave it for a few days and go back to try them again. It took DH several visits before he finally decided which was the best for him. A good store won't mind how many times you go back or how long it takes.