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That was a hard three weeks

(238 Posts)
Rigby46 Sat 29-Oct-16 20:35:19

Although I'm a fairly regular poster on MN, I lurked for quite a while here before I joined about three weeks ago. In that time I've been called a precious snowflake; accused of having a fit of the vapours ; being incredibly snobby, being satisfied to have something at which to take offence, creating a storm in a teacup, sniping, jumping in on one side or the other straightaway ( as a new poster) but you know the one thing that has really cut me to the quick was being accused of only knowing about 'six quid bottles ( of wine ) from the supermarket'. Anyway, will be having a break now for a few days and when I come back, I promise to behave better and to have drunk some more expensive wine

mcem Mon 31-Oct-16 09:28:15

Look hard enough for insincerity and you'll find it.
I honestly don't believe you are helping yourself or anyone else by continuing to dig this hole.
Whether or not you choose to accept my good wishes I hope you come through this period of unhappiness using whatever means you find helpful as long as it doesn't mean hurting others.

Anya Mon 31-Oct-16 09:20:37

Well that says it all mcem cutting through all the padding in your email, you thought I was 'targeting a certain poster' by these 'nasty jibes' and your delightful post was in defence of this poster who then was the one who sent you a 'supportive' PM.

??????

I really don't want your insincere well wishes, but thanks suggesting again that I need to 'look for a different source of solace' . Such insincerity almost makes me want to stand and fight my corner.

Lona I'm delighted you had the courage to confirm that these round-robins are out there, and as you were not the 'good guy' I was referring to (but you are a good guy IMHO) that makes it even more interesting.

PS it makes you wonder exactly what happened re jingl doesn't it?

Oh thank you JG how lovely to have such a vote of confidence just when I was so needing it (((hugs)))

jogginggirl Mon 31-Oct-16 09:18:41

I, too, have been lurking for a while - although I am a long standing member of Gransnet. I feel deeply sorry to read many of the comments that have been posted recently. This has resulted in the loss of some wise and helpful support from posters who have been made to feel unwelcome? Anya has been around on here for a long time, for me - she has been something of a life line. She has shown true friendship and compassion to many, she has a wicked sense of humour and a wonderful zest for life - even in her dark times? We all need to be mindful when we post on any forum - we cannot know what others are experiencing at a particular time. I send my best wishes to all of those feeling low or unhappy today for whatever reason. To Anya I send my heartfelt thanks for keeping me going during some very, very dark days, I will miss your presence on here (even as a lurker) I hope you will be back ?❤️

Lona Mon 31-Oct-16 09:06:29

Oh no ann don't you go too! I think a lot of us have felt like going at some time, but just taking a bit of a break is often all it takes to get things in perspective again.

Stansgran Mon 31-Oct-16 09:04:24

Have just opened Gransnet. Anya please don't leave. I do believe that people are being snippy because there is no face next to the post.

annsixty Mon 31-Oct-16 09:00:01

Another one here Anya who hopes you will just take a break to recoup your mind and sort out your problems. I started a thread a few days ago remarking on the number of new names who were posting. I was too polite to say that quite a few were agitating for nastiness and I don't mean all so apologies to those of you who weren't.I have thought myself of taking a break but actually I do need the friendship and support of people I have got to know at a difficult stage in my life.

mcem Mon 31-Oct-16 08:59:14

The reason that anya has had no issues with me is simply because I always ignored her nasty jibes until last night.
Despite the oddly paranoid remark about PMs flying around I have to say that Anya's was the first PM I received followed later by a supportive one from a different poster. I won't be using that inbox to further this discussion as I normally prefer to post openly or not at all.
Hardly evidence of cliques or bullying tactics!
If you review this dreadful thread you'll find several posts saying folk were uncomfortable with anya's remarks but none felt it necessary to pm me to form a gang!
If someone is having a hard time in RL and shares problems then GN is serving a useful purpose. However if relief from those problems can only be found in targetting a poster (who is having an equally difficult time) then perhaps it's right to look for a different source of solace.
One doesn't solve one's problems by creating more.
I wish anya well in her quiet time of contemplation and introspection.

Elegran Mon 31-Oct-16 08:52:15

The bad feeling seems to have faded. Let's see what stirring jibes next weekend brings.

Lona Mon 31-Oct-16 08:48:51

Anya I'll be sorry to see you go too. I had one of those 'round robin' pms once and ignored it. I stepped back and stopped trying to have a laugh and joke.
Don't let them get you down. flowers

Anya Mon 31-Oct-16 08:39:05

Thank you all.

Yes, I've not hit the 'go' button yet as I wanted to leave my PM box open to say goodbyes. So I've read all your lovely posts and PM smile

Perhaps if I explain you will understand.

mcem posted that it would be good I was to leave GN because she thought all the 'arrows came from my direction' or words to that effect. So I asked her to clarify....did she mean that if I left GN then all this nastiness would stop.

She relied unequivocally 'yes'.

The very odd thing is I've never had any issues with mcem hmm so I can only assume that a lot of PMs have been flying around to the effect that I am the Wicked Witch and that I should be vilified. I was once, many years ago, accidentally copied into a PM telling me how dreadful a certain poster was and asking for my support to rid GN of this person.

I ought to have reported that straightaway to GNHQ but I quietly deleted it because I refuse to be manipulated in that way. Had I not received that round-robin then I wouldn't have thought this level of manipulation possible. The originator of that email is still in GN but her victim is not.

So, lovely people, that's what's going on here. And I know there is at least one other 'good guy' who can substantiate what I'm saying.

Add to that the fact that I'm having to stay strong and focused due to a couple of really bad issues at home then you wil understand ....*I simply don't need this*. I'm not the source of all the evils on GN, despite what some believe.

I'm leaving my PM box open until the Halloween witching hour is over in case I feel the need to send my famous 'mad itching between the toes' curse out again thlgrin (some old poster might remember that one) .

kittylester Mon 31-Oct-16 07:04:29

Lurkers are very welcome in rhe kitchen, seacliff.

Anya, I would be sorry if you do leave and I expect Casawan will disappear again having managed the worst. sad

seacliff Mon 31-Oct-16 06:47:27

Dear Anya, I too hope you won't leave forever, sometimes a break is needed, especially if there are things happening in RL that need all your attention and strength. I think you are a very kind person, and would be missed here.

I am just a cowardly lurker, and have been dismayed to see how Gransnet has been going lately, but didn't feel I could add anything.

I am sure there are a lot more lurkers who are really helped by their regular GN fix, but just don't feel able to say very much themselves. I hope this "spell" will pass, and GN will get back to what it was in Great Nans' Day.

Best wishes, whatever you decide x flowers

mumofmadboys Sun 30-Oct-16 23:23:03

Anya, please don't leave. Have a few days off and come back! I agree there have been quite a few narky posts recently.

Maggiemaybe Sun 30-Oct-16 23:11:16

Oi, Anya, no shock Get yourself back on here sharpish. Gransnet's been a narky old place of late and the last thing it needs is fair and funny posters like you deserting it. Perhaps a glass or two of wine and some flowers might make you change your mind?

Charleygirl Sun 30-Oct-16 22:20:14

Jalima who is your gorgeous furry friend?

Anya I also do not want to see you go. Please think about it overnight.

Judthepud2 Sun 30-Oct-16 22:17:05

Oh Anya I am so sad you feel you need to go. Maybe you will come back to us again when you are feeling stronger. sad

mcem Sun 30-Oct-16 22:01:40

As you reqested a reply by pm - I quoted part of your earlier post and you seek clarification.
Yes!

Ana Sun 30-Oct-16 21:29:05

You'll be missed, Anya, you and I have been through a lot together.

GN has changed so much though, especially recently. Good luck smile

kittylester Sun 30-Oct-16 21:26:00

I'm sorry you feel like that Anya. As I said, I try to be nice and, whilst realising that most don't post about everything in their lives, i am also aware that most people do have their own problems to contend with.

Anya Sun 30-Oct-16 21:15:48

Oh to hell with it. I'm out of here, That last post by mcem wax the final straw. All I've tried to do is intervene between DB and casawan by pointing out the post was suppose to be an attempt at humour - which was misunderstood and backfired.

But obviously the PMs are flying.

May I point out Kitty that you know what's going on in some people lives because they point it out. You have no idea what's going on in those who prefer to keep things to themselves.

I will miss certain people, you know who you are, and especially those I've met up with, I will miss the meetings and others who may not know that I enjoy their posts, such as *Jud, mumofmadboys, Ceesnan, Stansgran, Absent, Bags, Elegran, maggiemaybd and other reasonable posters too numerous to mention.

I really won't be back this time, I've a lot I need to sort out in my life and things I need to organise.

Ana Sun 30-Oct-16 20:57:52

Surely not? I can think of plenty of other solutions...hmm

Anya Sun 30-Oct-16 20:43:56

^g more unpleasant and tedious with every passing day.
'Not sure if it's a forum I want to be part of'.
Let's hope that if anyone flounces off in a puff of frustration she does in fact reach that conclusion and so the picking and shooting down may cease.
I see the arrows coming from a different source!^

mcem can you just clear something up. The extract above from your post, seems to be saying that you hope I rich the conclusion this isn't a forum I want to be part of, and that if I leave all this nastiness will stop.

Is that what you meant?

Ana Sun 30-Oct-16 20:02:12

I don't think it's so much about the quality absent, more about the price! grin

absent Sun 30-Oct-16 19:56:34

I haven't been able to make much sense of this thread but it has left me feeling rather smug that I live within about 10 minutes' drive of a number of highly rated wineries.

Jalima Sun 30-Oct-16 19:33:21

Tonight's wine is a Spanish little number that came with a £10 meal from M&S

DH said hmm