inlaws

annemac101, mu husband doesn't like to say anything, do you think it odd for a mother in law to buy her daughter in law a set of knifes for her birthday?

Why would she turn away her son and grandchildren? You did nothing wrong at all,you're family and should be able to turn up anytime. Oh just read about the wedding invitation. Has she ever done anything strange like that before? That's a weird way to act with an invitation it means the bride didn't get a reply from you for her invite and will think you ignored it. I'm afraid I would have to say something about both incidents. Men will never challenged their mother about her behavior they like a quiet life.

OMG what a horrible thing to do.

If they turn up uninvited then I don't see how they can complain when you do the same.

Heres another thing they did years ago, wonder what you all think of this. They headed away to a wedding for the weekend. My husbands Aunt was getting married. The day before they came back we went to the house with fresh milk and so on. There on the kitchen counter was our invitation to the wedding, they never told us about it??? my husband said nothing to his parents about it as didn't want to cause any upset

No sorry not apologising, they turn up as and when they want without phoning us, its never been an issue, In fact the the last time they had a lot of visiting relatives about 3 years ago, they asked the kids for a sleep over a week before their party. The kids were running round showing everyone their beds and kiddy tooth brushes that suddenly appeared in the bathroom. Thats more or less the only time the kids have stayed, their not your typical grandparents, maybe they didn't want that being known. only reason I can think of that they wouldn't want us there.

Your right Valerie72 and I wouldn't tell anyone to leave either and that was bad but I also would never turn up without checking it was convienent, so basically I can see what happened from both sides it was awkward all round I just think your mum in law acted without thinking and is probably as miserable as you about it so I d be the person to apologise first

Should have phoned ahead - it's only polite. Yes, your MiL handled it badly but you were the one who caused the problem so you should apologise to clear the air.

no, it was a total shock. The kids kept saying 'cant believe granny told us to leave the house', We all sat in the car shocked. They don't spend much if any time with the kids, so maybe they were afraid that would have shown, who knows

I think it was a very weird way to treat you. I don't understand why you couldn't just wait until they'd eaten and then spent the evening with them.

Has your MIL treated you like this before?

wow, I'm shocked with some of the replies, guess I just expected to be treated the way i would have treated unexpected guests. I would never tell anyone to leave my house just because it was dinner time (especially my only grandchildren) and especially not in-front of all their distant relatives. If I ever told my in-laws to leave the house like that it would be the last id ever see of them.

My door is always open to guests if someone takes the time to visit me .

I think if I was --flapping around getting hot and bothered- cooking I might get a bit flustered but would probably have sent you all to talk to the visitors and keep them occupied whilst I got on in the kitchen, then left you to make yourselves a while we ate.

But - it is a good idea to phone first I think. It isn't always convenient, even with family.

Ditto BlueBelle

I would never turn up without prior arrangements I think your mother in law handled it badly but so did you by just turning up sorry if that sounds a bit blunt but I think you were both wrong so maybe a phone call to say sorry would help and get things back on an even keel

Oh dear. Your MiL could be regretting her attitude now and be pleased if there was fhe chance to explain. My guess is she was feeling frazzled and couldn't cope with the unexpected. Aware I was less than welcoming to one son and his family recently who appeared out of the blue when I was in the middle of a computer crisis. I've apologised but still feel bad. It will blow over.

Maybe your DH could apologise to his mother for all of you turning up unexpectedly. That would give her a chance to put her side, or at least it would start to smooth things over.

I would have had no problem with my son and his wife and family coming in and sitting and chatting whilst we had our meal, but everyone is different, I assume that you have not experienced your MIL being so inflexible before or you would not have dropped by. Can you talk to her about it now the visitors have left.

Why didn't you phone ahead to check if it was OK? Put yourself in their shoes, they had a houseful of visitors and were just dishing up a meal, when a whole gang of relatives that had seen the day before rock up unannounced. They could have dealt with it more graciously, but it must have seemed a bit odd to them. I would hope I would have invited you in for a drink while I was rushing around doing the meal, but I wouldn't have been too happy about it.