Dear neighbour has terminal cancer

Maybe her husband could give you an opinion on how well a party might be received?

I think that deciding without her to throw her a party is a terrible idea because it might not be something they're up to, but marking it in some way is a great idea

However if SHE suggested the party, that'ld be different and I'ld go all out to help her make it a stonking one.

I guess speak to her about whether she is up to/fancies a group thing before she goes and judge what she wants/is able for that way?

That does sound like a lovely idea judypark.

Thank you all for your suggestions, ironically Alison has always supported the Pink Ribbon Appeals by running in various events to raise money's for their cause. Alison loves her garden so I think it would be lovely to buy her a beautiful pink rose fo plant in her new garden.

You know her best. Is she the sort of person that likes big parties/gettogethers? Personally I hate them even for joyous occasions and so it would be the worst thing anyone could do for me in her situation. But if she loves them it could work. Please think about her and the kind of things she likes.

That would be a lovely thing to have big get together for her, she will then have photos to look at and of course it will be tinged with sadness but lovely to have all her mates together, it needn't feel like a last party esp if people visit her in new place, face it head on

What a lovely neighbour you must be and I think the book idea is a good idea .

So sorry to hear about your friend, Judy As others have suggested a book of some sort would be a good idea. When I left my home of almost 40 years to move to another part of the country a friend/neighbour got lots of local friends to provide a photo, write good wishes and something about how they knew me. A completely different situation, I know, but that book gave me a lot of pleasure.

Could you club together and buy her a special ornament that she can remember you by and shows how much you care for her, and when the inevitable happens, will remind her family that you all loved her.

What sad news Judy - I think the daffodils and the book are lovely ideas. I too would feel uncomfortable about a party; but a quiet dinner with the closest neighbours or friends feels more the right thing to do.

It does of course depend on her personality - personally it would all feel far too emotional for me and something quieter and more intimate would be better. But she may be a huge extrovert and want a party.

Lovely ideas and thank you Jane and Jayanna, my friend is in apparent good health at the moment, it was only the pain in her liver that alerted her to seek further diagnosis and then confirmation. She told me that she knew exactly what it was as soon as she experienced the symptoms.

Buy a loose leaf book or a pretty box for postcards and get everyone to write down some happy/funny stuff from the past and times when she helped and was a good friend. She can read them as she likes and know she is loved and appreciated.
We had a planting day and planted daffodils in the verges near our houses when a neighbour was diagnosed with leukaemia. She helped/watched the planting and lived to see them bloom the next Spring x

I think I would be uncomfortable too judy unless of course the idea came from your friend herself. In any case she may not be well enough to cope physically and emotionally with a big party.
If she herself fancied the idea a small group could maybe take her out for lunch - it's really about how she herself feels, not about everyone else's feelings.