Drunken sex

Thanks DD, took so long to read that my tea has gone cold .

Excellent analogy. But what if they say they prefer coffee, what does that mean ?.

This is also a useful analogy

(Warning - contains strong language!)

www.buzzfeed.com/jobarrow/why-sexual-consent-is-just-like-offering-someone-a-cup-of-te

In the heat of the moment how often is the question asked or an answer given, things between normal couples just develop and happen. This is where consent can be a very grey area, but no is definitely no.

DB not DD

Agree with DD, excellent advice Ruby, it all comes down to respect for yourself and for others.

Pressed the wrong button ! Meant to add this.

Excellent advice rubylady and as relevant for boys as well as girls.

Teach your offspring to be very aware of everyone and everything that goes on around them. Never leave a drink alone and then go back to it, thumb over top of bottles, buy your own drinks, stay in groups/couples, come home with who you go out with, walk away from anything that looks like breaking out into a fight, always have money to get home, never give your phone to anyone. And it might be sexist but I always got my daughter's male friends to walk home any of her girlfriends to keep them safe and my son always walks girls home too. Or I got them a taxi to make sure they were safe. It is a minefield. I suppose it's about teaching your own about respecting someone and not getting off your trolley to not know what you are doing.

Date rape is a pre meditated crime, rather than an opportunist one, very difficult to protect oneself from date rape.

That is so true Wobblybits

Although the thought of 'date rape' drugs also terrified me when my DD went out

AS the lone man in this thread, I have no intention of commenting on the court case, if for no other reason than that I have not followed it and am not aware of the evidence that has been presented. Please don't tell me as I don't believe a fraction of that in the media.

However I do think there is a lesson to be learn't (but I doubt it will) :-

Male or Female, never get so drunk that you are not in control of you circumstances. There will always be people only too willing to take advantage of someone who is drunk, either assault, rape, theft etc.

When I see news picture of young people in town centers when the clubs turn out it frightens me, they haven't a clue what might happen to them.

So many young people are drunk before they go out, simply because they can't afford club prices.

As said it is sad and depressing.

Its all very depressing, isn't it. Offering the huge financial incentive to "witnesses", the unqualfied support from the girlfriend and her father etc. I don't want to go all Mary Whitehouse, I prefer my Pollyanna persona but honestly, what a miserable scenario in which to imagine our own adult children. My sympathies remain with the victim here. I do hope she gets some good therapy and is able to rebuild her life. Five times so far, she's had to change her identity, whilst he is seen as somehow the more aggrieved.
The only positive I can see is that the main stream media condemns Evans' behaviour.

I have looked at the interesting link MicElf - thank you.

Niggling at the back of my mind was the fact that he said she said nothing, yet in that link it seems that she used the same words that she used with the two 'witnesses'.

And, of course, he was tried in Cardiff; there can not be many people who would be able to disregard the previous trial. There may even be people who support him, online and elesewhere, who know he plays for Wales.

They already have a son Jalima. Another reason why his girlfriend was so keen to see him proved not guilty I guess.

Interesting article, MiceElf, with details of the "fresh evidence" and of the legalities of how the second trial was handled.

thesecretbarrister.com/2016/10/14/10-myths-busted-about-the-ched-evans-case/

He has been found not guilty - but I would still not want a daughter of mine within 100 yards of anyone like that.

This case will give the green light to arrogant young men who will now think that they can take advantage of any woman (or man) who is foolish enough to drink too much - or to whom they have given a date rape drug - and get away with it.

Iam64 you're right - this case has set a precedent in law which has wiped out years of progress in the way courts deal with rape cases.

One day this young man may have a daughter of his own - how are he and his fiancée going to explain that to their child? And what sort of example would it set to any son they may have?

I thought better of the British legal system.

Whilst I think that it is a dangerous line for the law to take for a rape victim's sexual history to be taken into account, this case was somewhat blurred from the outset. The victim went to the police because she had lost her handbag and didn't complain of rape, it was the police who suggested she had been. The victim posted on Facebook about her encounters in a way to suggest she had enjoyed the attentions of the 2 men but the police suggested she take them down so as not to prejudice her case. By the time Evans was charged, the Facebook evidence was gone forever. There is no doubt Evans behaved disgracefully but he may well have thought she was giving consent if she was acting like it. If you watch the video of her going into the hotel and going back out to get the Pizza she'd left outside, she certainly doesn't look that drunk. It doesn't sound as if a lot of talking went on in that hotel room, she was already in bed with his friend and actively said yes to him, I wonder how he was supposed to know. Dreadful behaviour and judgement on behalf of all the parties.

on line

I try to steer clear of articles relating to footballers and the never ending stories about the sordid goings on in hotel rooms "threesomes" etc. Did read a bit about it one line yesterday, all too depressing. It's a shame that the ubiquitous girlfriend "stands by her man" and her father, how strange! I ask myself how they are not revolted by his behaviour. My sympathies lie with the victim.

All pretty squalid IMO.

All my sympathy in this case is for the complainant. She has had to change her name five times and move away from her home, missing out on spending precious time with her mum, who has died since the original trial. She could make money now out of the case, but has reportedly turned down offers from the media.

Like Jess, I can't understand any parent actually wanting their daughter to stay with someone who behaved as this person did, even if he believes that he is not guilty of rape. My first instinct would be to get her out of that relationship by any means at my disposal.

What is an inferior quality erection.is it a joke, you either have a erection or not

The poor young woman has been hounded by strangers and by associates of Evans to the degree that she has had to move away, and be given a new identity. There has been another surge of venom on Twitter against her in the last 24 hours.
I do not feel sorry for the girlfriend. Let's remember Evans was convicted of rape and served time in prison for it. I can't sympathise with a woman who stands by a boyfriend who has been convicted as a rapist. Her father has also been prominent in campaigning on behalf of Evans. What kind of father, whose daughter's boyfriend has embarrassed her in this way, would take it upon himself to behave like this? Whether or not he thought it was rape.