Two Smart Arse men and one cringeing wife.

DH has no peripheral vision. I'll never forget the look on the face of the lad behind the counter at our local agricultural merchants when we bought a new chainsaw.

'I need the wife to sign that.' says DH, passing the disclaimer across to me because they like you to have had the necessary training.

'I'm registered blind!'

Merlot, looks like you husband and I are from the same planet, I seem to remember saying something like "trimming my nails" when I put my finger into my circular saw. Our kitchen also looked like a slaughter house, drove myself down to the doctors (with one hand), te receptionist asked how urgent it was, at which juncture i bought the hand wrapped in kitchen towel out to show her, I was seen in a few minutes. It was the start of a long day, on to casualty, and then to the plastic surgery unit in another hospital where they put it all back together the next day. I got several comments about men and DIY etc.

merlot when are you going to write the book? They could make a film of it, Tom Courtney could be MrMerlot and Charlotte Rampling could be you

This wasn't a funny situation but in my mind it was 'just deserts'.

Many years ago I used to suffer with severe migraine. Really debilitating - in the dark, take the ticking clock out of the room, etc.

On one occasion my son (8) was poorly and I had to get him to the GP. Dh was unavailable, he was in long term mental health care hospital. The GP available was not the one I'd have chosen but it was short notice and necessary. Setting off with ds my migraine was blindingly painful, made it to the surgery, and eventually into the Dr. The Dr saw to my ds and then asked me if I was ok. I was pressing my fingers into my temples.

I told Dr that it was one of my migraines, adding..... "to be honest they really worry me because sometimes it seems there's something very seriously wrong and I worry what would happen to my son, who would care for him"

Dr replied..."Well if you drop dead you won't have to worry".

Just as I was thinking (through my pain) about how rude/insensitive a comment that was - the pain got too much and I threw up over his feet. I learned in later years that there had been many complaints and he actually retired early through ill (alcohol) health.

At the time of the incident I was young and was mortified but later came to think his comment to me merited his reward.

Might see you in the morning. You never know. depends on how on the ball Lady Muck is

I'm sure they've put all the keys in the wrong places.

I've got a nrew keyboard. Can you tell?

My DH would hAVE BEEN FLat on his back out cold. Respect to yours.

Well, he wasn't my kind of man this morning.

There I was in the greenhouse, propogating salvias, mug of coffee, when Classic FM was interrupted by, 'S**t, F**k, Bo***cks! from across the yard.

'Run it under cold water,' says I.

Kitchen looked like a slaughterhouse.

DD was at home. She's a shit hot Health and Safety consultant so I bundled his nibs in the car before she had a chance to deliver her usual caring daughter bossy boots lecture.

I reckon I deserve my tonight.

I like your dh merlot. He is my kindof man. [heart]

Love it merlot although I can't decide whether the male nurse had a dry sense of humour or was just a miserable git

Full marks to your DH though

I am trying to do a 'grin' but having trouble getting the little picture of a Grin on here. Very amusing story above though!

Reminds me of the doctor I saw when DD was about seven. She was going through a phase of using silly voices and the doctor said "Does she always talk like that?" Like an idiot I said "Yes all the time" He then got very serious and asked if I'd considered speech therapy for her I didn't try making jokes in his surgery anymore - and she continued to be VERY articulate!

He's under orders not to remove the bandage until Friday so he's busy converting latex gloves into fingerless versions so he can go fishing on Wednesday.

How inconsiderate , will you have to wait long for your cold frame merlot.

Mr. merlot

Brilliant!

My brother in law, who has a very dry sense of humour, caught his leg above the knee with a chainsaw and had to be taken to hospital. The doctor asked him "how did you manage to do that?" "Well," he said, "I was shaving my legs." The nurse had hysterics but the doctor just gave him a look and said "another few millimetres and you wouldn't have been making jokes!" ?

It takes one to know one, then, Wobblybits

This is a good example of male humour that women just don't get.

'You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife'.........oh no, a sharp object!

Sounds like a meeting of minds (I use the term loosely ) good job you were there to keep an eye on things. Made me smile too.

I get the feeling they are two of a kind and recognised this hence the jibs ?

ha ha! Poor you.. awful being in an 'awkward' situation like that..particularly if you really are not certain who is thinking what! Your DH obviously thought the nurse was a sterling chap!

Do you ever let him loose at an airport Merlot?