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I hope DH will calm down!

(20 Posts)
granjura Sat 08-Oct-16 09:54:21

When DH retired- I really did wonder if he was going to miss the job he did (and absolutely loved, including the teaching) - but he waa totally fine. He however decided it was time to digitalised all the slides and photos he had taken since he was a student- and that kept him quiet for quite some time ... thank goodness, lol. He is very self contained and although we both love to spend time together - we are also very happy to let each other to 'their own thing', including holidays and trips without each other.

I think it is very hard if one person has been so independent with a very busy spouse, and then suddenly becomes 'velcroed' to them in retirement. You just have to give each other space- and also say 'you go on your own or with a friend' - I need this time for myself.

Auntieflo Sat 08-Oct-16 09:17:57

When I read Kittylester's post, I thought, OMG, I couldn't cope with all that, then I read further down, and all the encouraging remarks and the ' go for it' attitudes. Well, I must be a lot older than many of you ?. !!
We have just had to have our heating repaired and serviced, yesterday, and now we have to put back all the shelves etc that were taken out of the airing cupboard, to get at the boiler. Today,DD is collecting me and we are going on a jaunt, venue to be decided, but a nice coffee shop beckons. Sometime over the weekend, someone is going to collect a trouser press, that I advertised on Streetlife. Monday, I am going to visit an old school friend, Tuesday, is hair cut day, Wednesday, car into garage for new Glow Plugs ??, Thursday, DH has a hospital appointment. Friday is free, so far, so I can't cope with any more exciting additions to my life just now. Mind you, next Wednesday, there is a GN meet up in Reading.??

nanaK54 Sat 08-Oct-16 08:37:06

Exciting times ahead enjoy!

Wobblybits Sat 08-Oct-16 08:33:53

Many men, myself included, get to an age when they suddenly realise that the youth they feel in their heart is catching up with reality. They then want to pack as much in as possible whilst they still can.
60/70 is now the mid life crisis.
Watching TV this morning I saw a tee shirt that I want "Crock 'n Roll" and "Lock up your Grannies"

kittylester Sat 08-Oct-16 07:56:06

Jane10, DH retired from full time work when he was 59 but had developed a 'sideline' so continued to do that part time. 12 years on, his part time side line is full time and very pressurised so the time has come to stop completely!

JaneA, I really couldn't do that! shock

We have said that we did not want to be the sort of retirees who lived for the next 'trip!'. And, I have lots of things going on already.

I realise that there will be a period of change and I quite fancy going out in the evening but I'd prefer evolution to revolution.

Jane10 Sat 08-Oct-16 07:34:49

My DH 'retires' next Spring. However, he's already set up a new business and plans to just transit into that. His current business was developed from a hobby and the new one is also the formalising of a special interest. Oh well. It means I can continue with my own life (once knee is fixed-fingers crossed etc). At the very least it means that the TV is MINE!

Eloethan Sat 08-Oct-16 01:46:47

When they retire, some men just go off on their own or, as you may have read on Gransnet, become reclusive, inactive and grumpy. I think that, even if it does prove to be a bit tiring, it is preferable that your husband enjoys your company and wants you to go with him. No doubt he will calm down a bit once the novelty of having more free time wears off.

suzied Fri 07-Oct-16 19:35:11

Sounds great! Enjoy! Go with the flow.

obieone Fri 07-Oct-16 19:20:09

Let's hope you can smile

I will think about your words. It isnt likely to be for a few years. Probably.

I could supply you with lots of links and You Tubes!

Wobblybits Fri 07-Oct-16 18:54:35

Let him go a roving, and go with him, I am now sick to death with sitting in this chair, would love be able to rove a bit. Next year perhaps.

obieone Fri 07-Oct-16 18:50:52

I know what you mean kittylester.

DH's plans are to go RVing, no idea for how long. Or to work on a boat in say the med. With or without me!
I am hoping he will get it all out of his system with his armchair research, by the time he actually retires.

Wobblybits Fri 07-Oct-16 18:45:21

Those who make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its shortness. ~Jean de La Bruyère

Make the most of it whilst you may.

I booked six holidays this last twelve month. Plus several shows etc.

janeainsworth Fri 07-Oct-16 18:00:50

I forgot to say that one of the things I like about being retired is being able to go out in the evenings more.
When we were working I was always too knackered.

ninathenana Fri 07-Oct-16 17:59:13

I've always envied friends whose husbands do the organising. However, it does sound a bit frantic kitty smile Perhaps I'm better off doing it myself after all.
Let's hope the novelty wears fairly quickly.

janeainsworth Fri 07-Oct-16 17:57:39

Think yourself lucky kitty.
I have to spend weeks at a time confined in a small boat with MrA, sometimes undertaking hair-raising voyages across large stretches of open water and often with no internet access shock

Luckygirl Fri 07-Oct-16 17:50:09

Oh heavens! - enjoy, just enjoy! My OH never wants to go anywhere and has been the same for years.

Teetime Fri 07-Oct-16 15:53:31

It does calm down after a time but enjoy your trips and concerts.smile

M0nica Fri 07-Oct-16 15:48:40

I disagree, Kitty embrace it, think what the alternative could be. A husband who sits at home all day, not knowing what to do with himself, following you round like a little puppy, constraining your freedom and ability to do things.

Give me the frenetic activity any day.

annsixty Fri 07-Oct-16 15:38:20

Just count your blessings kitty. It won't last, he will soon get fed up with all the driving and not sleeping in his own bed.?

kittylester Fri 07-Oct-16 15:21:10

Dh has decided to retire at the end of November and, so far, has booked 3 separate nights away (for both of us!!) to go to concerts. All three are within a ten day period, 2 are in Cambridge (but not consecutively) and 3 days after the last concert we are going away for 4 days! And, he won't even actually have finished work by then.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it and hope it doesn't become a habit. shock