I salute carers

PS That doesn't mean to detract from older carers. I worked with families that used a specific day care centre and it was humbling to see the dedication and stamina of all the carers

Hear hear kitty and what a star mcem's GD sounds. It's good to be reminded that not all carers are marriage partners or children of elderly parents. There is a large number of young carers around us who are doing fantastic work at home while trying to keep up with their school work as well.

and 'hats off' to all those involved in caring.

Thanks for that kitty. I don't include myself as a serious carer - just coping with my GCs as necessary. The real hero in our family is my 16 yr-old GD.
She has coped manfully with mum's illness as she's largely bedridden when not hospitalised and GD has also kept the family ticking over a lot of the time (including fending off the wee ones' idiot father.)
Now that mum has a very supportive new partner GD feels free to go to college to do a course in caring - leading to an access course which will mean she can get into uni to become a nurse.
Also one day a week she works in a care home for the elderly - which she loves.
Her efforts have been recognised by our local Young Carers group and although family members are always on hand we all acknowledge that she's the kingpin!
Fortunately she doesn't try to go solo and willingly accepts help from us but we all quietly recognise that this wonderful teenager is the boss!

Caring is not easy whether as a family member or professional, many people feel unable to fulfill the role, so those who do should be valued more by our society, we could not manage without them. Our Mum moved into a Care Home, when living at home was no longer safe even with family calling in 4/5 times a day, I could not give up work at that stage and when she came to stay with me I realised she need full 24hr support. She really enjoyed the friendship and activities in the care home, and was treated with dignity and respect to the end. One of the difficulties with Altzehimers is that previous pleasures like reading, become too difficult so for Mum the company and convenience of the care home was very successful.

I worked in social care for many years and saw so many very elderly people gain a new lease of life when they moved into a residential or nursing home: no worries about falling, shopping, cooking, paying the council tax, cleaning etc. One lady felt so much better in her residential home that she got her nephew to drive her to an airfield where she had booked a flying lesson - she took the controls briefly and was chuffed to bits. She was 90.

The phrase "put someone in a home" is so inappropriate.

My own parents were in a residential home at the end of their lives. First of all Mum, and Dad visited every day and had his lunch there and both were supported an cared for. Some years after my Mum died, my Dad too went into the same home and was peaceful and happy for the few months before he died. I do not feel the slightest bit guilty about the decisions - it was the best thing for them both and I am happy that they had a peaceful and worry free end to their lives.

I was using my kindle fire this morning kitty it is far better than the i-pad for suggesting words after the first 3 or so letters and doesn't auto correct. The only problem is that it has a small screen.

How does your device let you spell 'Alzheimers' correctly, Ann? Mine autocorrects without the H unless I'm very careful.

I couldn't have coped with my mum at home either, Ann. More importantly, as you say, nor could the rest of the family.

Does The Alzheimers Society run CrISP courses in your area Ann? The carers on this one said it was really helpful and there was cake!

Don't feel guilty ann sixty. You are definitely doing your bit and I for one admire you.

That makes mefeel very guilty f77ms as I did "put my mother in a home" at the age of 95. To be fair it was her choice, she had all her mental capacity totally unimpaired.
She would have had my C leave home probably followed by my H.
Doesn't stop the guilt though. I admire you tremendously.
I now care for my H with Alzheimer's but that is a different scenario with different stresses.

Thanks Kitty it means a lot to be appreciated . I cared for my Mum in the final few years of her life , first of all at her home then when she became more ill she came to live with me . I could never have `put her in a home` as they say , and I was glad to be in the position to look after her . Some people are not able to due to not wanting to give up work or just not having the capacity to care for someone else for many reasons . I am so glad I did it and can say that my Mum had a good death at home with everyone around her . The NHS were good and supported me as much as they could with daily visits in the last few weeks , they bent over backwards to ensure she had everything she needed to be able to stay at home, arranging equipment / bed/ commode etc when she was unable to get upstairs , I can`t fault them .

I am lucky as my Mum aged 98 is still relatively independent as she has all her mental faculties.
She does of course require a degree of input as she is physically very frail but I have no worry about her forgetting the kettle (a very tiny one so she can lift it) and stuff like that.

I gave it lot of thought as we approached her extreme old age and made the decision to keep her as independent as possible because I simply think it does not do anyone any good if you take control.
So she organises her own cleaning lady, her own laundry etc. I do her shopping on line and with the help of easy meals from M&S which she uses if she is feeling too knackered she does all her own cooking.

She is too frail to walk more than 100yds so is reliant on us to take her out, but this isn't too often as she gets too tired to tackle the great outdoors and it has to be relatively warm. She last went out a week ago for lunch in a country pub.
So although I am classed as a carer it isn't as remotely onerous as some have to contend with.

Well said kittylester

A truly wonderful bunch of people who very rarely get the thanks and praise they deserve.