Things you didn't really appreciate at the time.

I had one of those foam backed coats lizzy mine was mustard coloured. I thought it was wonderful but I suspect it was hideous! I remember a lot of outings when I wore my school uniform (including the panama hat!) I've also got photos of me aged about 14 wearing a coat, hat and gloves more suitable for a 45 year old! I think my mother was just trying to dress me in the sort of things she had worn 30 years before.

Oh, I had a foam backed coat too, Deedaa. Mine was a double breasted pale grey one. I'd forgotten all about it. It was very light to wear if I remember rightly but did tend to get deep permanent creases across the front when I sat down!

I didn't appreciate my knees... oh how I wish I had them now. To be able to get up and down off the floor without looking for something to get hold off first and to spring up onto a chair instead of finding a step stool or waiting for OH to come home.

I didn't appreciate my lovely thick black wavy hair. Why didn't I leave it in its natural state instead of cutting it, dying it, bleaching it?

Mind you, a friend of mine who has six brothers often relates how she and her only sister were regarded as more or less worthless other than as domestic skivvies. The boys were everything.

That was in reply to the 's 'why did mothers put us down?' question by the way...

I like you, NotTooOld, wish I had never cut my hair, it was long, had beautiful curls and reached to my waistline, I had it cut when I was 19 and never grew it again.

I didn`t appreciate being a size 8 and being able to eat everything I fancied ! The main thing though is not having the confidence to think that I could do anything I wanted to instead of getting married at 19.

My first love, who made me feel really good about myself (he was a lot older and already tied to another woman, but he gave me the strength and support to do what I wanted and realise that it was my life. Sadly he died before we could tie up the loose ends there was never a clean break. At the time we were still dependent on our parents, being under age till we reached 21 - I met him at 19 - mine being somewhat hypocritical (mum ran off with dad at 15! and he was already married with a family) tried to stop us being friends. But I wish I'd had a chance to get to tell him how much I appreciated his love, strength and friendship.

It might also have been in an effort to stop us being vain, annsixty. Thanks to my upbringing and constant put downs I have always felt fat and drab, with consequent effect on confidence (I've got none). When I look back on old photos I can see that I was pretty, and slim, and when we all took wedding pics in for a 'Changing Fashions' item at work, several colleagues said I looked amazing, and like a Vogue front cover model. They assured me they were not just being kind, and then OH said that he was always trying to tell me that I wasn't a fat lump but I would never believe him. Not a big deal - I truly never have been self obsessed and don't care about looks for me or anyone else, but I do feel sad that I had such a lack of confidence when, had I perhaps just felt 'normal' as opposed to fat and plain, I might well have felt better about myself and able to tackle things in a more positive way.

My parents.

My health, especially my back. Now it limits me immensely ?

I often wonder how different our lives could have been if we had half the praise and affection that children have today, being praised for the good and only being aware of our successes. I think things have swung round too far however, OTT, and only our GC will be the proof when they reach adulthood. They will probably still have some regrets about their upbringing, probably how they were over indulged and cannot retain the same life style that parents bestowed on them in their formative years. (who knows),Although my childhood was a nightmare, it has made me the person I am today and for that I am grateful. If only, like the old saying goes, we could put old heads on young shoulders, maybe we could then have managed our own destiny better. That is my only regret.

A great aunt and uncle who were unable to have their own children, and doted on us. They were very much a part of our early years. I loved them, but wish I had valued them more when they were alive.

I remember my mother telling me how boring I was to keep on chatting about what I was doing at school etc. (I was about 12 at the time), and how I would never have any friends if I talked so much. I have grown up to be very introverted and shy, and find making friends and small talk very difficult. My own children have been brought up to believe in themselves and thankfully are so different.

The same in my family Blinko a great aunt and uncle but they were an unmarried brother and sister who remained in the family home when their siblings all married and started their own families. The were lovely people who were like an additional pair of grandparents. When any child in the family had a birthday my great aunt would make a clootie dumpling with silver sixpences wrapped in greaseproof paper hidden inside. They welcomed everyone into their home. No favourites, everyone was treated the same. Kind people and I remember them both with love.

I wish I had stood up to my Dad more - he was a total control freak and once told me I was sexually malajusted when I was about 13 just because my friend and I were having a completely innocent game of tennis over in the park with two boys we knew. I have never forgotten it. He also made me take up a post as a teacher, after university, when I really wanted to go to art school and do something creative. I was very artistic then and am - at last - an artist now. He also took control of my student grant and used to dole out a certain amount a week. I gave in as I was afraid to stand up to him. Two years in to university, I wanted to go on holiday with a group of my friends who included an Iraqui boy, and my parents went berserk because he wasn't white! I was all set to move out and cut the ties for ever, when a letter arrived, offering me a place on the Honours French course, so I decided I had better take it up. Eventually I moved out of home, after a year away in France as part of my course, having tasted freedom. When I wanted to get married, after being independent for many years and having bought my own house, my parents made an unbelievable fuss because my fiancé was Greek (foreign!) and not in a profession! My Dad even wrote me a letter saying that he only wanted to marry me because I was British and had a house (not for my good looks and charming personality!!!) and that he would probably bring all his family over to live with us! I was so fed-up, I gave them back the front-door key and said I didn't want to see them again, but my fiancé made me go and see them with him and make up. They were rather relieved as they hadn't heard from me for a couple of weeks and my Dad gave my fiancé one of his ties!! I don't know if he thought he didn't have a tie to his name! They did come to the wedding, although my Mum never stopped saying she wished I'd married a Doctor or a Solicitor!!! My husband was an angel towards her until she died and we are still happily married 34 years on! To be fair, I think my Mum was totally influenced by my Dad.

So glad it all turned out well for you Phoebes. Your husband sounds lovely.

My parents were too busy working to tell us anything except passing exams was good. However my grand mother called us 'her little jewels'. I felt very valued by her but not very much by my parents.

So I try to be more supportive to my grandchildren and tell them how much I love them.

I realise now how much I took my health for granted - I used to walk miles, now I can only manage short distances with the aid of a stick & even then it can be painful. My knees - I can't kneel down as it feels like I'm kneeling on glass

I do feel that I was lucky with my parents, loved my Dad who died too young (I was 22) but ended up with a lovely step-father who became my DD's beloved GD - sad my Dad missed out on my lovely DGS.

I was a confident teenager, lucky to be slim with long legs & smashing figure, fully supported by my parents in all aspects of my life. One legacy my DD gave me was a wicked sense of humour

My friend and I saw The Beatles perform four times in the 60s, at Preston, Southport, Wigan, and (I think) Blackpool. Trouble was, with all the screaming and shouting from fans, you couldn't hear a thing!

Also went with the school to the Olympics when they were held in Rome, and would have appreciated the events much more today than I did then.

I wish I had appreciated, or known, that I could probably have found a way to go to College after school .....my mother said to me, on the morning of the 11+ "there's no need you passing any exams ..you won't be going to any grammar school, we can't afford it" and later, when I left Secondary school, and my teachers said I should go to college to study for exams in English or go to Art School ...again, my mother did not come to the leaving appointment with the school ...she just said 'Your brother never went to college and you are not going either ....go and get a job like I did" (actually, the truth is, she never worked outside the home, apart from a brief spell during the war when she was assigned to war work making parachutes !) she even managed to avoid doing that for long, after meeting my dad and immediately having my brother !) I did go on to pay for myself through nightschool and get the qualifications I needed to become a Solicitors Clerk, and then had various jobs throughout life, but sadly it was with no thanks to my mother ! My lovely dad was my 'champion' bless him, but he never got involved !

I wish I had appreciated ME - looking back at photos I was tall, slim, attractive. Ate from morning till night and never put an ounce on. Probably all the dancing, or maybe the genes! Not having the confidence to apply for jobs I really would have loved to have done as not feeling "good enough". My mother died in tragic circumstances when I was 19 and I am sad she never knew my children and vice versa. She did compliment me when she was alive, but I had low self esteem due to being sent off to boarding school when I was six - until I was ten. Another story! rejection issues etc. But Hey today I do have self esteem and confidence and like me, after a lot of hard work.

I was at one of the London universities in the 60s and Ted Hughes was due to give a lecture to my Englisg group. The summer day dawned, a friend called to say my group of friends were hitchhiking down to Margate and did I want to join them. No contest! I will regret that decision to my dying day!

Also went with the school to the Olympics when they were held in Rome, and would have appreciated the events much more today than I did then

@libra10 - totally off topic but that must have been 1960? I was studying in Brighton and in the holidays went to Vienna and at one time hitch hiked round the country. Got stranded one dark night in north Italy and (to my great relief!) was given a lift to Innsbruck by a Dutch gentleman returning from those Olympic Games...

You've refreshed some of my memories there