Happy Hour

Linsco56

Hey Mrs R!.....I'll find out where you live...?

As we're not being overly PC here's a wee joke.

A boastful Englishman... "take away your friendliness, your beautiful mountains, glens, lochs, what have you got?"

"England" replied the Scot.

Taken from Buzzfeed; Things that irritate the Scots.
(Any Scots amongst us feel free to say if you agree/disagree) but in an amusing way,
As this is meant to be lighthearted.????

Wanting to go to a Panto that doesn't have The Krankies in it.
People calling kilts 'skirts'
Being able to find a foundation that matches your ghostly skin.
People joking about 'white walkers' and what it's like living 'north of the wall' ( you need to have watched Game Of Thrones.)
People assuming that you voted for the SNP
Being mistaken for an English person whilst on holiday
Being mistaken for a Welsh person at any time
Being told that the Scots are tight with money,when you know for a fact that you set up at least three direct debits for charities when you were drunk.
People calling you Scotch ( it's a drink!)
When the weatherman says it's a scorcher tomorrow...and that's London ( it's snowing where you are.)

I laughed yesterday at DH as he had a senior moment and put the croissants in the fridge ( instead of the breadbin) no wonder I couldn't find them, and then this afternoon I put the kettle in the pantry! In mitigation, wasps were getting into the pantry through an air brick, and I happened to have the kettle in my hand as I looked in there.Later, wanting to make a cup of tea, I accused DH of putting it somewhere.[

Just stick a pin in the list, WB, but it may get very short if everyone opts for plan G.

haha.

Problem is, finding a useless politician.

number!
Well, wobbly we know what to do now.....no more worries.

number .

Ok, if you ladies can get away with some of these, I don't feel so afraid for this politically incorrect one.

Say you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you. So, what do you do? You opt for Medicare Plan G.
The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Plan G) and one bullet. You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need. Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered!

As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now! And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a nursing home. And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it. And now, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes!

Is this a great country or what? Now that I've solved your senior financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week!

I liked this one

any good?

Bargain!

I hope this works as it should.

Well this brightened my day today. I bought some jeans in M & S today (not in a sale). Nice black, slim leg ones. Took them to the till and the assistant said 'that will £1.49 please.' I said 'oh dear are you having problems with your till?' She said 'no, they have come up as £1.49 so that's what you will be charged'. That certainly made my day

Jane10 Address is 4 Kinneil Street, Thornhill.

Oh thanks Pittcity NOW I GET IT! I have such a pure mind I struggle to see anything rude - NOT!!

Just say the house number and the name of the street out loud...but not too loud because it's rude!

A man who lived in UK
Said, Me getting old? No way!
I've a full head of hair,
Help me get out of this chair,
And find all my marbles, OK?

I couldn't read it properly.

Nope, don't get that address - am I being thick??

I'm ashamed to say I got it straight away .

I had to say the address a few times before the penny dropped! ?

The poem isn't my own work rosesarered It's courtesy of Tom Shields.

Oops, just got it!

Pittcity, I'm afraid I don't get what you mean about the address of that bungalow...