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How judgmental are you?

(110 Posts)
kittylester Wed 24-Aug-16 11:54:18

Fairly early on in my life with GN, I posed the same question. That time it was prompted by outside events but this time it is prompted by some terribly bad tempered threads lately.

So, how judgmental are you? Am i totally beyond the pale just because I voted Tory and read The Times and DM?

rosesarered Wed 24-Aug-16 17:14:11

Yes Kitty some do, but then we come back to the ignorance or naivety thing, because most people, having lived as long as we have, have been around the block a time or two, and know that there is no black and white for most things.

kittylester Wed 24-Aug-16 17:09:35

I'm not sure what to think about your comment to me. gjconfused Am I beyond the pale or not?

Some people become more entrenched as they get older though don't you find roses

rosesarered Wed 24-Aug-16 17:06:59

Well, there you go Granjura you are officially outed as judgemental! grin

granjura Wed 24-Aug-16 17:01:48

ahaha under the sun - I would definitely draw the line at The Sun ;)

rosesarered Wed 24-Aug-16 16:52:41

I don't judge a person, but do judge what they say...of course, this is a forum that demands opinions, so we have to have some grin
All this old tosh about what a poster reads, and calling them everything under the sun if they dare vote anything but Labour is simply ridiculous.I think the worm may be turning in this respect at the moment though, as I have noticed more 'Strong ' posts from posters not prepared to put up with it.The world really isn't black and white, and as we get older we see this more and more.If we don't, then it's either ignorance or naivety.

BlueBelle Wed 24-Aug-16 16:39:14

Gosh I m the opposite of that was far too shy with little confidence when I was young life's knocks and my fighting spirit has made me more able to have stronger opinions now I m older
Good or bad I don't know

mumofmadboys Wed 24-Aug-16 16:36:05

I imagine we get less judgemental as we get older and realise that few issues are black and white and most are a shade of grey! I think I was far more opinionated in my youth than I am now!

harrigran Wed 24-Aug-16 16:20:51

Yes I am judgemental when it comes to certain people. On the day of the referendum one of DD's friends got annoyed at the result and told me that "no intelligent life force ever emerged from your town" Excuse me? DD came from the same town so she was insulting her too. I have forgiven DD but I will never forget her reaction toward us at the referendum.

MargaretX Wed 24-Aug-16 16:13:34

I suppose I am judgemental and maybe I hurt people sometimes but if I imagine a Forum where everyone agrees or says Yes Dear! You are so right. I would soon get bored.

I was brought up to question what others say and why they say it and if it is true and if I can agree with it.

granjura Wed 24-Aug-16 16:06:49

An exemple - my cousin and her DH in the USA are lovely people- we get on so well and have loads of fun.

But we have recently found out they have really strong opinions- and are further right than tea-party and Ghengis Khan. The vitriolic racism against the Obamas, full support of Trump and belief that Fox News is the only channel who tells the truth - is just beyond what we can be tolerant about or tolerate. So we won't see them again- sad, but un-avoidable.

granjura Wed 24-Aug-16 16:03:47

I do not think I jump down anyone's throat kitty- truly. I try to have an informed discussion- and then I'll just withdraw when it is clear the person won't change their mind and I won't change mine- and it all becomes pointless.

But yes, I am passionate about some things, fair education and heath care for all, for instance. No-one will make me think differently about it. We have many relatives with who went to Public School and who send their kids to Public schools - and who only use private care. We just don't discuss these issues with them beyond a certain point - they of course are very judgemental about us- and think we are nuts for having send our kids to local comprehensives (where they did VERY well) and use the NHS only.

I agree with you that it is not easy.

In the present climate, and with the recent campaigns re immigrants, etc- yes, I do find it hard anyone would want to read the DM by choice. But would never hold it against you, as you say- and would be very happy to meet again. x

kittylester Wed 24-Aug-16 15:55:59

Having a strong opinion is ok gj but do you allow others to also have strong opinions without jumping down their throats or holding it against them.

whitewave Wed 24-Aug-16 15:52:43

I react in a judgemental way, but have the most dreadful memory, so I both forget the incident and the person making it very quickly indeed.

So on gransnet, I am hopeless at names or what people have said with which I disagree. As a consequence I have an idea of the broad spectrum of people's ideas etc. But nothing in any detail whatsoever.

I am like that in real life as well. There is one thing however I am no good at forgiving. An example.

There are 5 couples who have in the past periodically got together for a meal etc. I discovered that one of the couples will, given the opportunity bitch about the others. In fact one of our Christmas dos organised by them they ensured one f the couples was not invited. This makes me feel terribly uncomfortable. I loath bitchyness.

In fact I am really quite happy not to continue with the group as I hate it so much.

So in a perverse way I forget very quickly but do not forgive some things.

granjura Wed 24-Aug-16 15:51:17

Aren't people who call others judgmental not being very judgmental themselves?

I can agree to disagree about many things- and always try to see both, or even, all sides- but there are some things I can't tolerate- like racism, cruelty to animals, children or the downs and outs, treating women badly- and won't compromise beyond a certain line. So yes, if having strong opinions is it- then I am.

millymouge Wed 24-Aug-16 15:19:16

Daphne I am afraid I am like you, I can and do forgive but I find it hard to forget. I know it is silly and it does nothing to help but it is the way I am. DH says I am too sensitive and should try to ignore things but I can't always. I often see items on the forum that I would like to comment and give my opinion on but I think it better to keep things to myself.

KatyK Wed 24-Aug-16 15:04:55

I think I have become less judgemental in some ways and more in others, if that makes sense. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt if they act in a certain way, ie rudeness or looking bored when I am speaking (perhaps I'm just a bore) or something. I try to think perhaps they are struggling with something, as most of us are. I am judgemental on other things, such as the way some people let their children misbehave or people swearing at children in the street etc. If I ever try to diuscuss anything in the news with my family, my brother-in-law always pipes up with 'well we all know you read the Daily Mail' whatever that means. confused

Ana Wed 24-Aug-16 14:56:44

Actually, grannylyn, this week I've noticed most of the open-topped cars I've seen have been driven by women!

Linsco56 Wed 24-Aug-16 14:29:21

Correct DaphneB we should forgive otherwise some transgressions against us would eat us up. However, forget?...absolutely not, we may end up making the same mistakes again and again.

TriciaF Wed 24-Aug-16 14:25:25

In real life I think I'm pretty judgemental, I don't meet many people to discuss things with. But on here there's such a variety of folks that I'm constantly changing my opinion on different subjects that I thought I had cut and dried.

grannylyn65 Wed 24-Aug-16 14:19:49

Come on now, drivers of open topped sports cars are all driven by old under endowed men !!!!!
(stands back in trepidation )

morethan2 Wed 24-Aug-16 13:53:47

I'm really judgemental, but I know it and so can reflect on it. The problem is when people don't realise their being judgemental and think there right! All the time

NonnaW Wed 24-Aug-16 13:26:32

I think we are probably all a little more judgemental than we care to admit. The main thing is to try to keep those views to oneself in case circumstances prove we were a little over-hasty! And no, I don't think voting Tory makes anyone a bad person. Persona
Ly I don't much care what anyone votes or what newspaper they read. Each to their own!

kittylester Wed 24-Aug-16 13:22:57

You make a judgement as too how fast a bus is travelling and whether you can make it to the other side. It was an analogy I was given on a training course. grin

HildaW Wed 24-Aug-16 12:59:24

Am now a tad confused....what's making sure you do not get run over by a bus got to do with the political views one holds?
Or am I being too judgemental?

NanaandGrampy Wed 24-Aug-16 12:48:20

Of course they're not Kitty , that would be like saying all sports cars are driven by under endowed men smile or all labour voters who read the Sun are bad.

There's good and bad in almost everything .