How judgmental are you?

Thank you varian - I was trying to find the way to put this- and you did it se well.

I am ashamed to admit that I am shockingly judgemental politically, being somewhat to the left of the leftiest lefty, but even worse, in real life I judge people who are not particular about personal hygiene!

I'm sure it's a judgement upon me, that whenever I use public transport, the rankest, sweatiest, most malodorous passenger always decides to sit next to me.

Judge not lest ye may be seated by a smelly person!

Being judgemental is perhaps too sweeping a description for someone who might point out that newspapers are very biased, some more than others, and they do influence their readers to vote in certain ways.

Newspaper readership was found to be the most important predictor of voting in the EU referendum with the readers of the Express, Daily Mail, Sun and Telegraph very likely to vote Leave and Guardian readers most likely to vote Remain. The "i" was the only one found to be unbiased.

I think it's best to get your news from a range of sources. As well as watching TV and listening to Radio 4, I read the "i" six days a week and The Times two or three days a week, and I also look at the Guardian, Telegraph, Herald and Scotsman online. I even occasionly look at Mailonline - but not too often as it raises my blood pressure.

By all means stick to your usual paper, but try not too be unaware of the way it is influencing your opinion.

Too scared to post on this thread!

My DH has become more judgemental with age and likes to rage against everything and anything on the TV.

I drive a BMW - topless- the car not me, as an old lady that blows the young man theory!! I am judgemental but try to keep that to myself. I think everyone is but they often fight against that nature, like me, or being on a forum just let rip!! I value diversity and others opinions I do not in RL surround myself with like minded people, that would be boring.... But if I want to continue to have them in my life I have to suspend judgement. I do not believe what you read or vote makes you any particular sort of person. So no your not beyond the pale. I vote Labour but my kids went to Private School and I have Private Health Insurance, I don't read any papers- maybe the free Evening Standard when in London. I like most people am a complex mix of strong views, traits and values, most of my strong views have become tendencies with age as opposed to strong views anymore.

However judgemental one might be - surely everyone is judgemental but surely we know when to reveal it or how right or wrong we probably are?

I'm probably considered beyond the pale too because I vote Labour and read the Guardian ? I think it's important to respect other people's views and communicate politely on social media. However it's also ok to respectfully point out some of the issues if someone is expressing views which are potentially abusive or harmful to others. I think views like that should be challenged, but as I said with respectful language. For example I read a comment the other day from someone who thought disabled people should not get mobility payments because they don't need to leave the house now they can shop online. I'm afraid I did question that view, politely of course.

I try to take people as I find them and I value diversity of thought and opinion: I think it's good to read/listen to/engage with people whose opinions differ from mine. I find myself less influenced by others as I've got older though, mostly because I do a lot of thinking and I live in a household where we have lively discussions so I've often had to explain or justify my views.

I would hope never to limit my understanding of someone based on which party they vote for or which newspaper they read, but having had a horrid first hand experience I admit to bias in regard to the latter.

I think it's much more important to be kind than to be 'right' or to 'win' an argument, but I do sometimes fall short of my own ideals.

Newquay, the i only costs 40 pence.

Jalima isn't everyone judgemental about people who drive Beemers? I had one on loan for a while and found it a very disappointing car.

I am awfully judgemental but try to keep it to myself. On the other hand I can be very wishy washy liberal.

DH never bothers about recycling because he saw all the recycling being tipped into on bin about 15 years ago!!!

Must have been hard for you bellasnanna.

On GN members often open threads which ask for advice or opinion, or discussions about complex and at times difficult subjects- so opinions and points of views, even if passionate or 'strong' are certainly appropriate. I must say I am amazed when people clearly ask for advice and opinions, then take massive umbrage when the result is not what they want to hear.

I don't judge someone who sends their child to private school or uses private healthcare; as far as I'm concerned they are paying for both through their taxes, not availing themselves of the provision and there is one less child in an over-crowded classroom and a shorter NHS queue.

DH is always judgmental about people who drive Beemers as he thinks they show off and overtake dangerously!!

Although I do admit being judgmental today in M&S (but tried to keep quiet) when the assistant on the till loudly proclaimed that he did no recycling whatsover at home, even though M&S has a recycling policy and he has to adhere to it at work. He told all and sundry that recycling was a way of the Government trying to control us. The woman in front agreed with him and said she left recycling to pensioners who have plenty of time to get on with it
I did try not to start a fisticuffs in the middle of M&S!

ps I am judgmental about The Sun
And am very anti-Guardian since the Edward Snowden debacle.

There!! I am officially judgmental

When we all lived in caves it was important to be judgemental and quick about it too - our lives depended on it. Zillions of years later we've learned it's best to know a bit about someone before you attempt to make a sound judgement.

Don't judge a book by its cover or a person by the newspaper they read. A college lecturer acquaintance, around 1980 I think, gave an example of The Sun being the most popular newspaper bought by men. Those present all groaned and judgementally said 'yes, Page 3 girls', whereas the horse-racing pundit they employed was the most successful tipster on a daily paper at that time and was the main reason for its popularity

I do try not to judge others and would certainly not do so on any forum since I do not know the people personally.

Having been judged unfavorably myself when I gave birth to DD2 as an unmarried mother in Malta, I vowed I would not be so quick to judge others. I was made to feel as if I was the lowest of the low and it took me a long time to get over it.

Some people will probably think I deserved it, but I now know I did not.

BTW is it judgemental or judgmental?

AS said though, saying that someone is 'judg/e/mental' is in itself very judg/e/mental ;) by its very nature.

That's ok Roses, thanks

Kitty, not at all - I have many excellent friends and family whose opinions are very similar to yours - and we get on very well- even if we disagree fundamentally at times. Many of them very religious too, and I am a total atheist/humanist.

Well put corner.

People are complex, our history impacts on our views, it is inevitable that we will not always agree with expressed ideas and thoughts and that somewhere we compare what we hear with our own thoughts and opinions. One way of thinking about this issue is that as there is a continuum of views there is also a continuum of desire and ability to be open to the views and beliefs of others. Whether we agree or disagree about an opinion it's important to remember that opinions are just that, they are not necessarily fact and they do not necessarily define the character of the person. Do we all make judgements? Professionally we may be trained not to, in our private lives surely we must, but we don't have to use the difference in views as a stick with which to beat others.

My DH used to be the same. It was wonderful!
Unfortunately he remembers things better nowadays!

My DH has a wonderful ability to forget things. We might have had a big row over breakfast, mostly my fault, he went to work. I was worrying about it all morning and rang him to apologise. He'd forgotten all about it

As regards forgiving and forgetting.
Ironically there is a person in real life who forgives[good], but as the person can never forget anything it seems, has got quite hurt.
And I dont actually know what to say to that person.
The person is also holding things against people which is not good beahviour, and I do think that person could make more of an effort in that particular regard, and I intend to tell them. But perhaps it is quite a difficult thing to actually do?

DH walks to our local newsagent every morning and buys the DM. I would much prefer another paper-I think he likes it for the sports coverage-always starts to read a paper from the back page. I find it a very contradictory paper (can't really call it a NEWSpaper!). They get on their moral high horse about things and then promptly have articles/cartoons that make light of the self same things.
Often I flick through it and say something like-am at page 17 and little news yet. . . .
Don't want to waste money buying another paper.

It is fine to judge behaviour, as in that behaviour is good or bad, but not fine to judge a person, as in that person is a good or bad person.

But being judgemental about So, how judgmental are you? Am i totally beyond the pale just because I voted Tory and read The Times and DM?
A poster or person who is doing that, is judging behaviour which is ok, but as the behaviour is not bad in anyones' eyes[nor by God!] the person has got it wrong.

Unless someone can explain how reading the Times, The Daily Mail, and voting Tory is a real sin, which is a silly question isn't it?!

Yes, and the DM does have redeeming features - it has run several successful campaigns which were in the public interest.