Soop's Friendly Kitcheners and pets...

The cool coat and bandana sounds fabulous Anya , Sam has been suffering in the last few weeks so on Monday he went off for a super short back and sides and the difference is amazing. He even had enough energy yesterday evening to play fetch with Ratty in the garden.

He doesn't look like a cavalier but he's happy.

I might invest in a bandana though !!

Daphe just noticed the bit about Grace and the heat. My old dog suffers too. I obviously avoid walking him in the heat, but if I have to (and I usually try early on before it gets too bad) I have invested in a cool coat. That really helps. Around the house in this weather he wears his cool bandana. This is a specially designed scarf-type thing that is wetted and he wears around his neck to keep him cool.

Works a treat.

Daphne I really didn't mean to upset you by asking why you didn't speak up. I do understand that some people can be very 'me, me, me' and not seem interested in others. And sometimes it's just easier to let them get on with it and hope that perhaps they just might suddenly enquire after you and yours.

*Daphne" I am inclined to agree re fans. I bought a bog standard one more than 30 years ago and I can count on one hand the number of times I have used it because on the whole I am a cold morsel. I only bought the fan because like now we had a mini heatwave then and I thought, wrongly I would get a night's sleep. Tara is frightened of it (when it works) as it is supposed to rotate.

I'm afraid we only have the "ordinary" sort, but DH might take exception to Grace getting ahead of him in the queue for a Dyson
It's one of those things I have not bought because (rather like the posh barbecue we once bought to replace our rusty old Hibachi), it would guarantee a new Ice Age
The summer we bought the barbecue we got to use it TWICE!!

Daphneb do you have a Dyson fan? I have a floor standing one which I keep on during the night, quiet enough to sleep through. Perhaps Grace would appreciate one by her bed.

harrigran I often hear of courses of chemo being cut short and it used to worry me until I came to the possible conclusion that unlike antibiotics, chemo seems to include a "safety margin" and does NOT necessarily have to be seen out to the bitter end, as in the 4 cases I knew of, there were no ill effects from stopping.
I hope your DH is a handy man with the Heparin/Tinzoparin? (And doesn't have cold hands) initially the nurse used to come out to DH but he had to have the jabs so often he took to doing it himself in a reasonably accessible part of his anatomy. Perhaps he didn't trust me?
It's all a long hard slog isn't it for all of you/us with serious illnesses and or chronic conditions. I appreciate now what people with diabetes, or kidney disease or any ongoing illnesses have to cope with. If only could be provided on the NHS and if only they were enough!
I wish you all a day, but with the proviso here that it is not quite as scorchio as yesterday as poor Grace is panting already, even (gently) walking her at 10 last night was hard going for both of us, and having to shut doors etc downstairs reduced the through draughts.
Have a pleasant day!!.

Oh dear DaphneB, some friends can be quite insensitive.
Pleased McS's appointment went well, maybe a few clooty puddings on the menu to put a lining on the ribs.
With only seven days left of my chemo to go it was stopped yesterday and I was sent to hospital, blood markers show that I have an increased risk of blood clots in the lungs. Had x-ray and lots of other tests and have to return on Thursday for a CT scan of lungs, DH is back on duty to administer anticoagulant injections in my tummy.
As soon as I got through the front door at 8pm my sister rang and she thinks she is being helpful but gets my back up. "Have you thought of doing this"? "if you just wore white cotton socks inside of your sandals" What? As if I was not distressed enough I find myself having to listen to twaddle. Sorry but sometimes I find myself having uncharitable thoughts.

Morning all !

Daphne that's sad and rude and a bit disheartening. Especially not to ask after the new baby to be honest . Its one thing not to ask after you poor husbands health but not to ask if the baby has arrived, any pictures etc? I know if it had been me I would have a little gift for you to celebrate. Nothing fancy, just a token of shared joy. Sad that even the friend you see often didn't think it worth talking about

I'm not sure what you could/should do but I did like the little note idea

Anyway- we like to hear about the lovely new baby AND we're always happy to send a hug when things are tough health wise ! So if we could only all be sitting round a REAL table you can rest assured we'd be asking all the right questions !!

Glad the trip went well soop although MacS does sound like he needs a bit of fattening up. I'm with Charley more fish and chips please

Oh no Charley that is a pain about your door. I couldn't have gone to bed leaving it unlocked either. Did he turn up and do the job?

Car shopping went well yesterday with our little chap. He knows more about cars at the age of 4 than either Grampy or I. We had whittled it down to 3 choices and we went to each showroom to do the measuring ( my hoist for my scooter needs to fit). I was so proud of Jackson ( and I know you fellow Nana's will understand ) . We had each appointment and he was well behaved , if excited and they were all very generous answering his questions about engines and wheels and such and at the end of each appointment we shook hands and when offered their hand he did too. I think that's such a nice , polite thing for a young boy to do.

I'll leave you with a little chuckle this morning , this is a conversation we had at one of the showrooms.

Me: What colour do you think we should get Jackson?
Jackson : Well, Grampy likes the grey one.
Me: ah yes but when did we let Grampy choose?
Jackson, with a slow smile.... I know ---lets get yellow !!!

Rest assured we will not be getting yellow( or grey for that matter) but it made me chuckle to know that we ALL know where Grampy's place is

Soop, I`m pleased that MacSporran`s appointment went well, but he really does need a few meat pies as well as his fish and chips, he needs feeding up.
DaphneB, get in first next time!
I did some ironing this afternoon, but it was so hot I couldn`t see for the sweat running into my eyes, it was horrible.

DaphneB sorry about your lunch with friends. It would have been a nice break for you if they'd been more supportive. I'm amazed they didn't ask about your new arrival.... I would have been asking for photos straight away.

At least in the kitchen you are assured of a sympathetic ear (mostly ) and .

very annoying charleygirl, he could at least have tried to explain,I think you were very good to hold your tongue. It's certainly not right that such new doors won't lock. Hope you get it sorted.

DaphneB Of course it's good manners to enquire but some people lack good manners and are so wrapped up in their own lives. More than a bit selfish I think.

soop it is funny the way that cats will not eat until their servants return. Rory would be delighted to see the pair of you, life would now resume as normal so he could have a bite to eat!

Thank goodness for emergency home insurance. I had French doors fitted around 3 months ago but the lock has not been right since day 1. I was told to my face my another member of the superb team that I was a woman and did not understand anything about building, fitting of windows etc. You can imagine how I felt but could not say much as I wanted it fixed.

This evening I tried to shut and lock it to no avail. I eventually managed to shut the door but locking it was beyond me. Anyway I am waiting for a locksmith to arrive around 9.30pm, that will be 3 hours since I made the call, not bad. I obviously could not go to bed leaving the door unlocked. I seem to need their services for something once a year but here it is usually water related. Money well spent.

Hell is other people (sometimes and some people!)

So sorry you had that experience, Daphne, it isn't you it's them! It was rude behaviour and in your shoes I would have been furious and also very upset. Would I have said anything at the time? No. I know I wouldn't. I would have felt too awkward. I might review how I felt about them all. For me friends come in concentric circles and the friends you met with would have been moved to a circle much further away. It says a lot about them. I'm surprised as much as anything that the friend you see regularly didn't introduce both topics. Nowt so queer as folks as they say.

Milly, we've a friend just like that. Can talk for an hour about nothing and never ask about us at all. She's widowed so we phone a couple of times a month, it's not new, how she's always been. Used to it now and laugh about it.

Sounds as if your day was as good as it could be Soop, more fish and chips definitely for mcS to help with the weight. We've got an excellent fish and chip shop less than five minutes walk away, I try to only go once a month but it's hard to resist sometimes. The back is fine today. Does it good to have a stretch . I see a very good physio, privately sadly as the NHS here doesn't offer ongoing sessions, so if it gets too stuck she un-sticks it.

Pleased things are moving forward ann, you sound so much more positive now. Amazing what some hope and the necessary medical intervention can do!

Best be off, been on grandparent detail today and there is a large glass of wine with my name on it

Take care everyone.

Why didn't I speak up anya?
Well, 1) I wasn't going to start the sort of " organ recital " some women of a certain age indulge in and
2) what would you recommend saying?
"Oh I don't expect anybody is interested but DH now needs fortnightly blood transfusions to keep going"
That would have gone down well with the dessert.
I was brought up to ask /enquire about others' well being, not ruin the atmosphere by being the bearer of depressing news OR to talk, uninvited , about myself.
And if I HAD been asked, it would have elicited a vague "oh has been better, could be worse" type of answer. Not medical chapter and verse. After all most people asking "How are you?" don't necessarily want the gory details.
I don't think it would have appropriate to initiate that sort of conversation but my point is that good manners, not to say friendship, would normally involve at least a general enquiry about family members, especially when you know there are issues.
Regarding babies, ifI know a friend has acquired a grandbaby at all recently I would again ask after him/her and mum and possibly make a polite reference to other grandchildren especially if I knew their mother, as was the case here.
However, while everybody is clearly different it is reassuring to have some support from online friends.

While I sympathise Daphne you did ask for genuine comment....so if it was 'getting to you' why didn't you just speak up? Yes, real friends perhaps ought to have extended the courtesy of enquiring how things were in your life, but Tricia is correct that often people don't 'listen' to others.

Try to remember you're not in 'Sam' mode (you'll understand that) and next time speak up.

Daphne B I sympathise with you about your meeting with your ex-colleagues. I don't think people listen and 'inwardly digest' like we do on the forum.
My one and only sister rang me last night, she's much younger than me (lives in Edinburgh btw) and I couldn't get a word in edgeways.
She's very worried about her partner's health and that was the whole conversation.
We lot think about you and your husband's health, sometimes virtual friends are more help than real friends and relations.

We'll be having soup and yogurt this evening. The fish and chip lunch was filling. Possibly a wee dram at bedtime.

I'm away to feed the pussy cats. I shall catch up with you tomorrow after lunch. My pal has a small pile of ironing that I am well able to do on her behalf in the morning.

Love to every one of you. Thank you for your good wishes.

Charleyg Less of the "totally abandoned" if you please. We left him asleep in my chair, on my rug. We also left his favourite lunch in his favourite bowl. Hard done by? Ha!
On our return, Rory vacated my chair. He left my rug crumpled and in total disarray. He hadn't touched his lunch. He did so as we unpacked the groceries. He's been asleep on MacS's lap ever since. I don't know how Rory stands the pace. He must be stressed to the ends of his whiskers. Only he's too sophisticated to let on.

millym I would have felt inclined to leave the receiver lying on the table for 33 mins. What a bore. When next he calls, say that you're about to leave the house. A fib, maybe. But totally justified.

soop what else is a young man to do but sleep when he was totally abandoned for hours?

Glad to hear that the day went well but MacSporran really is very thin. He needs more fish and chip lunches,and I am pleased to hear that he still has a good appetite.

Daphne that was downright rude, in my opinion not a way to treat a friend. Each should have had a moment or two to state how things are (or are not) and that way everybody gets a say. I would not count them as friends but I agree, you do not want to cut off your nose to spite your face.

I am surprised that the friend you see a few times a week did not mention DH or if she did not want to do that, at the very least young Flynn. The next time that you see her could you not bring up this subject stating how you felt totally left out?

I think that this calls for a glass of wine or two and an extra hug of Grace.

DH has a male "friend"like that. Just after Christmas he rang and I timed the time he was talking to 33minutes. During that time I took DH a coffee and biscuit because all he had to say was "Oh" or "right" or "oh dear". When he eventually came off he said at no time had .......asked how he was or what he was doing. It was all totally about him.

You could always send a notelet containing a cryptic message. Something like...by the way, should you be interested, the new baby is doing very well. Add a copy of your favourite photo.