What would you change about your husband or partner if you could "turn back time"?

Angela1961 I think I'm sharing a husband with you, lol.
Just a few days ago he was out in his pride and joy ( his 1937 hot rod) He had on an authentic white Ralph Lauren polo shirt. Something went wrong with his 'beloved'
Another white top resigned to the work drawer.

That his health was as it was a few years ago. At 50 he has heart failure as a result of heart attacks following a big operation in 2014. Not surprisingly it does get him down, not being able to work or do much. He hates being financially dependent on me having always been a grafter. He doesn't get any money in his own right as that stopped when I went back to work after he was ill. Even though he had to finish work and was awarded ESA at higher rate without needing to have face to face assessment, he isn't bad enough for PIPs apparently. So I long for the days when he could do what he wanted. We don't get out much because he is dependent on lifts and can't afford to run a car.

After nearly forty years most of his 'funny little ways' seem quite normal and I would miss them - but not the snoring!

My husband's ability to whistle. It gives me the screaming habdabs. After 43 years you would think he would learn not to incur my wrath by whistling. Either he does it on purpose to annoy me or he is just slow on the uptake.

Perhaps the main thing my ex would have changed about me would have been my Asperger's diagnosis. Then perhaps she wouldn't have needed to divorce me. But then I wouldn't have had the opportunity to find out who I really am. It was better this way.

What would I change? Apart from the fact that he sweats like mad - I sometimes have to peel a t-shirt over his head - there's not much I'd change about my DH of 41 years. Oh yes - he will watch a tv programme about half way, then when I'm just about interested - he'll flip channels! And he insists that he's right when we both know he's not. And the fact that he will insist on calling me "cute" - how can a 65 year old Grandma be called cute for * sake? But he loves me to bits - just today he picked me up from a hospital appointment (where I'd been given an all clear) and joked that he'd rather have me than the insurance money anyway! He'd probably have a list for me though.

That he would happily wear a brand new item of clothing out to do a job that would permanently spoil it i.e. paint/ diy/oily etc and then change into something to go out in that was already spoilt due to the very same reason ! Never cleans his shoes (I do it ) but lovingly polishes his walking boots. Clears his throat 20 times in the morning even though it makes me cringe. Likes to voice his loud opinions in public.

I wish he had appreciated what fun children can be and how good our children were. He only ever grumbled about them. No interest in their education either.
Now he has reinvented himself as jolly grandad but the children remember.
The years since he waltzed off with someone else after 40 years have been just so lovely. My main wish is that he had done it 25 years sooner.

my late DH had an annoying habit of putting off jobs which needed doing or if he was doing either gardening or DIY he would stop frequently "for a rest" which meant a cigarette break & a drink.

He didn't see the need to "dress up" if we were going out even if all that meant was clean jeans & t-shirt/sweat shirt.

When we went away I would say to him put everything you want to take on to the bed in spare room - never put out "best" t-shirts always older ones so I had to make him go & get the ones I wanted him to take no wonder his clothes lasted a long time. Also if I didn't check everything it was a disaster - once went away with smart black trousers which didn't fit & 2 left shoes (in fairness they were similar in design!) cue hurried trip to buy new.

Still lots of love & laughter so can't grumble - wish he was still here alive & well - he did so many things to make me laugh

That he wasn't such a clean freak. People think I'm lucky to be married to a man who spends so much of his time cleaning. I'm not...he repeats the cleaning I've done "so I know it's done properly", and in a martyred way, as if he has been asked to do it. If I try to retaliate by not doing it at all, he is even worse - does it but complains bitterly about how hard he works, such long hours, and then he has to come home and clean...I can't win either way. He has been known to hover near visitors with a dustpan and brush, and to sweep up their cake crumbs from their chairs the moment they stand up. Embarrassing (but also, I'm afraid, quite funny.)

Basically, his way is the only right way, and that applies to everything in our house. I can put up with it when it's just me who is being criticised but we have some colossal rows when he does the same to the rest of the family. He just can't stop himself, although it has caused a lot of friction with our daughters and son-in-laws.

Well, he has been my DH for nearly 40 years and I'll never get him to change his ways. He drives me mad sometimes but we're still together. I guess I love him!

Only that he didn't drive the car that night

We are both a 'package deal' and we have been together for 45 years

He's rarely on time, doesn't care much about his appearance, though is v. clean, obstinate. The list of my faults would be much longer, even if written by me, so I can't complain.
What's this about Leos, Madmartha? Would love to know as I'm one.

I would prefer him not to sniff, especially when he has a cold. I was brought up to know it was bad manners, he sees nothing wrong with it. He also licks his knife! Apart from that, he's a good'un. Oh, he talks loudly on the phone when I'm trying to watch tv!

My DH reigns! He spends half the day on his throne, reading - he has a veritable library of newspapers, fiction, reference books etc. always on hand in 'his' throne-room. I tell him it is bad for him and that there are better places to sit, which he agrees. He has no health issues, I just think he feels he ought to be 'doing something' (which he ought!) if he is not reigning. Every time something needs doing, out come the dreaded words "I'm just popping upstairs for a minute..."

Does anyone else have a sovereign OH?

Sorry, intemperate, not iintemperate.

I m sure I could write a list of his falings and he could write just as long a one about mine. However, he never would. The first thing he said to me this morning was that I was his most important person in the world. It's like winning the lottery every day.

Then I had to listen to the iintemperate rant about the BBC and the NHS, but I was spared the usual suspects:- Google, Bill Gates, the French, Jeremy Corbyn, The Met Office, the green movement, vegetarians, assorted religions and religion in general and Uncle Tom Cobbley and all.

Hilarious.

I wish I'd known you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. I married a man without a shred of ambition which has got very frustrating over the years but he is kind and puts up with my foibles so I suppose I can't have everything.

I would change the fact that I married him in the first place. I wasted 30 years of my life on him when I could have been with someone decent. Luckily I'm now divorced, but it has taken me 10 years to recover from the trauma.

We are total opposites Yin and Yang - and it works, most of the time. After 46 years together- I wouldn't change him at all- perhaps just wish he was a bit more demonstrative and cuddly- but his childhood shaped him as he is. That's OK.

I wished he hadn`t been so critical of me and my children , it eroded all the confidence I had ,also tidier and more hands on in the house . Got my Mojo back now we are divorced and still meet him for lunch on occasion .

I had a whole list of things to change then just read the threads. I've just added another one - he's just told me how many dog poos the dog did on his daily walk! But like someone else said, he's mine and has been for 47 years. He tells me I'm perfect whenever I complain so I have to agree with him there! Of course, we both have our faults but we've managed to overlook the petty hates and seen the bigger picture. I have a lovely kind, loving and gentle husband - if sometimes annoying!

Gene therapy to stop him always having to have the last word on every subject in every conversation, even if it's a load of waffle he has to say it. A pathological Leo. Will even verbally repeat my contributions in meetings directly after I've spoken as if it's his thoughts, and he's often more knowledgeable than me on some things. Pity he doesn't apply the same enthusiasm to his clothes, would look like a jumble sale reject if left to own devices. And don't start me on him interrupting conversations because he's done everything bigger and better, the social graces fairy obviously didn't see him coming

That he thought adultery was ok

I just love him the way he is, faults and all, he wouldn't be him without them . More in love with him now than before after 36 years of marriage and 38 years of being together. We all have to remember we to have faults. Much love to everyone on gransnet .