Gransnet forums

Chat

30 year old daughter married nearly 5 years & no children yet, should I say anything?

(91 Posts)
annsixty Thu 21-Jul-16 08:49:07

My D married at 26, first child at 33 and second at 37 without a word spoken by either of us.

harrigran Thu 21-Jul-16 08:49:04

I would never mention anything as sensitive as this, absolutely none of your business. My DD has been married for 20+ years and has no children, that is her business and I respect that.

Greyduster Thu 21-Jul-16 08:48:39

My daughter was 35 before she had our grandson; she and her partner had been together then for 14 years. Say nothing.

LullyDully Thu 21-Jul-16 08:24:11

A hard decision. Don't plan anything but the time may come when the conversation just arises and then you can just be supportive whichever way she is.feeling.

Mumsy Thu 21-Jul-16 08:22:35

Theres still time for them to have children if they want them, not a good idea to broach the subject as there may be medical problems they dont want to talk about. Perhaps they are happy not having children.

Bellanonna Thu 21-Jul-16 08:22:23

That was beautifully put Indinana and I would take thst approach too.

bee63 Thu 21-Jul-16 08:15:59

I know it's a difficult subject to approach, but if she is having problems ttc then I want her to know I'm here for her. Our relationship is very good but we don't share everything ( both a little reserved ) I don't know, maybe it's just because I had 4 children by 36.

Gononsuch Thu 21-Jul-16 08:13:16

Well said Indinana

Theirs such a strong Catholic way of thinking with us old 'uns.

Anya Thu 21-Jul-16 08:09:46

Say nothing.

phoenix Thu 21-Jul-16 08:04:37

Definitely NOT!

Indinana Thu 21-Jul-16 08:04:25

You will likely have lots of people on here responding with 'oh no, don't say anything!'. It depends a lot on what sort of relationship you have with your daughter as to whether or not you can broach the subject. If you have always had a very open mother-and-daughter relationship, always talked about everything, then it might be possible to say something - and you will know her well enough to know how to approach the subject gently. But please bear in mind that it may not be intentional that she is 'leaving it too late'. It could be that despite all their efforts, she has so far been unable to conceive. Or maybe she has conceived several times and then the pregnancy has ended early on. It could be a very, very delicate subject.
Do you know that she even wants children? There's always that possibility!
If, on the other hand, it is a conscious decision to delay starting a family, I'm sure she is aware of the clock ticking and won't need you to remind her smile.
I do sympathise - it's so hard being a 'grandparent in waiting', isn't it? Only you know if you can bring up this subject with your daughter. But be aware, it is a minefield! Good luck.

sherish Thu 21-Jul-16 08:04:02

Why on earth would you say anything? It's their life and their plans. Don't interfere because that's what it will be.

rascal Thu 21-Jul-16 08:00:25

No don't say anything it's none of your business. They have their lives to lead and you have yours. Don't Interfere. hmm

Nelliemoser Thu 21-Jul-16 07:55:38

Say nothing.

J52 Thu 21-Jul-16 07:53:28

Say nothing! I was married 8 years and 30 before I had my first child, out of choice!

If your daughter wants to discuss it with you, she will bring up the subject.

bee63 Thu 21-Jul-16 07:49:51

Just that really.
They've been married 5 years in September, both in their 30's now & no sign of children.
I know women leave it later these days but how to I tactfully say 'don't leave it too late'?
Or should I just say nothing?
TIA.