Thank you GNs

I fully retired about 5 years ago, and I must admit I haven't taken to it too well. I've done various voluntary jobs and joined some clubs, but somehow I just haven't felt happy and at peace with myself.
There have been several posts on here about retirement and people worrying about how they would adapt, and a couple of weeks ago another one appeared which I read through - and suddenly a light came on. GNs were saying how much they enjoyed having time to play golf or bowling, or do art and craft activities, to spend lots of time with their grandchildren - and these are all lovely things to do. However, I realised that my problem was, these are the things we always hear about for retirement - but I didn't really want to do them and yet I was trying to fit into a lifestyle that encouraged all these things. What I wasn't doing was saying to myself, do what you REALLY want to do and ignore all the retirement images which are everywhere - river cruises, slow walks in the countryside, looking after small children, gardening etc etc.
I'm feeling much happier now as if I've given myself permission to be myself rather than conform. I'm not knocking other GNs who I know enjoy the things I don't, in many ways I envy you. I just wondered if anyone else felt this way?
(By the way, I dearly love my grandchildren, but I'm quite happy to see them every month or so).