£500 dresses for a junior prom?

Preparing girls for the meat market is reprehensible.

My GD has a T shirt saying

'Don't call me Princess call me President'

What ninnies are running schools now ?

Oh No!! It was bad enough having school discos, where some of the girls looked 10 years older and knew all the dances and the others stood about looking a bit confused, while the boys alternated standing around looking bored with running in circles and throwing themselves about the floor. Goodness knows what will happen at a prom.

'Insanity - and what kind of message does it give? Girls of eleven do not need to be tarted up (literally) as they have so little left of childhood by this age. This is wrong on so many levels. Let them make the most of themselves which is what they should be doing, and have a 'new dress' or whatever, but £500???? What about the families who cannot afford this nonsense?

My GD (5) has been asked to dozens of parties since starting school as the trend is to have everyone in the class and do something lavish. Half of these tinies end up crying and want to go home; my Ddil has said a firm no to this trend, had four friends round for a super tea at home and then taken them out to do something special locally - they all loved it, and GD was relaxed and happy with her special friends instead of a yelling horde. You are so right Jane - Americanisation at its worst and expectations that cannot possibly be sustained throughout life.

If this is the way it is going, just dread their weddings

our local school has a levers prom for GCSE to get there you have to go on the coach supplied & return on it . I bought DDs dress from TKMaxx I thing it was around £30 and I did her make up ( as I did for her wedding) she's normally a casual dresser & she actually turned a few heads . My cousin's daughter "graduated" form nursery a couple of years ago - she must be bright to get a degree from nursery

For under 16s surely it's down to the parents to say No to the school etc. Some people seem to have more money than sense!
I hate seeing children as young as 8 wearing make-up and high heels. Where did childhood go? No wonder we have so many child pregnancies when we encourage children to behave like adults from such an early age.

My elder daughter hired her prom dress, and my younger one made hers for a GCSE textiles project.This was for leaving secondary school, primary school had a disco and playgroup (as it was then) didn't do anything!

I remember my daughters prom about 20 years back - a few went over the top a bit but most spent realistic amounts on dresses - the girls got together and had a lot of fun doing hair and make up - they were driven to the school by parents - ok the girls chose the parents to drive them for the cars they had (BMWs / Audis) and a few parents did hire limos. It was not cheap for the boys either - they wore "black tie" which they had to hire. Apart from this one occasion when they moved to the 6th form or left to go to college or work they only had discos at the end of term and it was definitely not considered cool to overdress. Perhaps parents could talk to the PTA members and ask that these social events should be fun and a learning curve on how to get on with each other - not a competition to see who has the most money to waste. I do worry that some of these events lead to bullying.

My husband and I were shocked yesterday when son in law sent us a picture of granddaughter 'practising' for her prom - posh frock, new shoes, new hairdo, full make up. Of course he's a proud dad and yes she looked lovely but about 10 years older than she is - she's 11 and only going up to senior school for goodness sake! What will happen when she leaves senior school or graduates from university? Hopefully it will all have gone full circle by then and youngsters will be back to signing each other shirts.

What IS happening? The world has gone mad. Proms and ridiculously expensive dresses at 11 are just not right on so many levels - someone has seen an opportunity to make money and exploit a new section of the market.
I agree with you, Rosina, about childrens' parties where the whole class has to come, with an expensive outing included. Have long railed against it. Have seen my daughters try to meet expectations for the sake of their children. Fortunately it seems to have calmed down now. Some brave parents have bucked the trend.

When I was working in Education. It was the parents who organised these proms. School washed there hands of it. They did it off the school premises.

It seems that the UK (United Kingdom) has been infiltrated with many of the American traditions. Maybe Parents etc need to be involved with the establishment / authorities in regards to these events :- Graduation from Nursery etc, etc.

As materialism and Competition can be detrimental to cohesiveness, Empathy.Sense of Belonging, Community etc. The UK is living through Austerity.

Reply to Rosina

I believe that some :- possibly especially Businessmen and Businesswomen use these events to "Network".

Maybe some put the expense down to Business expenses.

Building a network for the children's future, just as when sending children to Private Nursery, Private school,Dancing classes, Football lessons, etc,etc.

My DD is having that `rabbit in the headlights' look as my GD talks about her prom event next year !
The concept of costs seem to not be in the GD equation !
Is a nice thing but causes alot of pressure all round !

Reply to Moobox

You mention Weddings. Nowadays not always what was Tradition i.e. paid for by Parent/s.

Maybe there is a need for a reduction in Materialism.
Maybe more need for Respect for Self, Others, Finances etc.

Historically there was a time when wome married wearing their Best Dress i.e. no new dress purchased.

Reply to goose1964

Your comment so sensible, practical and Realistic. I'm sure you will have happy, sentimental moments from that Wedding and other Events. People, experiences etc are what is important :- They are Priceless Treasures. Well Done!

I can recall happy memories of friend's preparations for Wedding. We visited local hairdresser. Did make up, got dressed etc at family home. Was Wonderful, as family members together supporting each other from pre-wedding onwards. We are still friends some twenty plus years later. Our Happy memories bring smiles to our faces and Joy in the heart.

It's totally ridiculous, more money than sense.
DD's leaving prom dress was under £10 from a charity shop (brand new Monsoon dress with original price £139.99!), DS borrowed his DJ etc so cost nothing.

DN's wedding a few years ago was fantastic, I helped with all the flowers, decorations and so on and it was the best wedding I've ever been to, very personal.

Dizzygran

You mention Bullying. That is an ISSUE when there is Competition etc.

I believe we should be encouraging co-hesiveness, sense of Communit etc.

Reply to Coppernob

You mention :- Signing each others shirt. First I have heard of this. Though excellent idea. Sentimental

Stupid! What the dickens are we doing to children? Just say NO!

Reply to Zena510

You mention Grand-Daughter (GD) excited about a graduation prom due next year. Seems quite understandable. Children live in the moment, I believe it can be difficult for them to make sense or appreciate time in the future and probably past. Maybe we need to share more with our children :- Diaries, baby books, memory books etc. maybe we could even have books for future Adventures etc. As we live a reality.

Limited Financial Budgets are a part of Reality /Real Life. Maybe your Daughter and family could make use of a notebook to plan for this future event that your Grand-Daughter is so excited about. They maybe could put a list of options. Could even include :-Dream outfit, outfit to suit occasion, outfit to be accepted / fit in with group of friend's etc, practical outfit, dreaded outfit i.e. what I certainly wouldn't want to wear. Etc with travel arrangements etc. Could be kept as a momento of the Event, family heirloom maybe. As it could be arranged in whatever way suits Grand -Daughter and family.

Best Wishes! As it seems so much goes into Events, for the Event to be over in a short time scale.

Yuck! What are these parents thinking, its like a meat market out there. The tennis ladies look like girly girls with their knickers on display while the men wear shorts to their knees and ordinary t shirts! Women, through the efforts of their parents are STILL promoting their daughters for Page 3! Absolutely pathetic parenting.

Reply to Loopylou

You seem very practical and sensible in how you have managed. Maybe you have developed skills :- Flower Arranging etc. Maybe you could share knowledge and skills with others.

Well Done!

You seem to have Happy Memorable moments. Precious Treasures.

Radicalnan - ninnies indeed, teachers or PTAs behind the primary prom idiocy. GD had a cotton spotted dress she loved from Forever 21 (tall for age) from end of primary disco, wore it a lot that summer.
She's 16 now, ending school for college. Not going to prom because she can't take her boyf, only current pupils allowed, he left a couple of years ago.
Local newspaper publishes supplements of secondary prom pics each year which can be ordered, not cheap!

Seems totally ridiculous to me ! I am glad to hear some people have the money for silly prices for dresses, make up, limos, etc (as said on here, gets more like Big Fat Gypsy weddings by the day .....not to mention BFG communions as well ...dresses too wide to get up the aisle of the church !) .....not seen this happening in France where I livem thankfully, but probably only a matter of time !

My daughter had a school disco when she left junior for upper ...I made the dress as it was what she wanted and we couldn't find anywhere ....cost me a max of 5 pounds ! When her friend married a few years later, her wedding dress and all the bridesmaids dresses came from China via the internet, and the whole lot cost less than the figure of 500 for the prom dress mentioned ! ...and they fitted well, and were all lovely ..the only thing that had to be done was to hem them as they needed to be tried on with the shoes being worn !

My wedding dress in 1971 cost 19 guineas, my s i l made the bridesmaids dresses, and the reception was in the Scout hut, as my f i l was scoutmaster ! Money saved went on first house (lucky, then, brand newly built, 6,100 ! ...wouldn't even pay the deposit now !)

You can look back on pictures in years to come (if you don't digitalise them all !) and remember a happy time and not think 'I could have used that money for something else' ....even, perhaps an end of school holiday, which my daughter had before going to Uni ....a group of them went camping in the south of France ...surely more memories than one prom !