Soop's Kindly Kitcheners

Happy anniversary ann, I'm sorry your doctor couldn't be of more help.
If it's any help, Helping Hands are here in Wilmslow, so maybe of use to you. I think you are very wise to try and organise some freedom for yourself before things get worse. Sending (((hugs))) xx

Happy anniversary, annsixty, and thank you for sharing your lovely photo. A very handsome couple.

Last night's sky was cloudless...

I'm also sending love and congratulations to you, annsixty and your husband. You look amazing. The dress is perfect. Such a handsome couple and old fashioned in the best possible sense. I have to say that you, Anne, look far more beautiful than some of today's brides.
About that telephone call that hasn't been of much help. I'm terribly disappointed for you. I had thought that something positive might result from the discussion. What next?
I've also heard and know of "Helping Hands". The bed-bound elderly lady for whom I did cleaning and MacS gardening, benefitted from the organisation. I believe the sitting-in carers worked in shifts. It isn't free, but perhaps on a short term basis, it might be worth considering.

DaphneB You are in our thoughts. Wishing you a safe journey and a happy visit.

I've been to the Care Home. It isn't always easy to sit with a group of people, many with dementia, who manage to chatter away at the same time. I know when things are going well because the ladies chuckle. When there has been an upset, the atmosphere is less easy going. One lady believes that her sister (also a resident) is being stand-offish and holds a grudge. In fact, sister is a sweet natured lady who, like so many others, suffers with dementia. I feel like a referee must during a game of football.

Wishing you a very happy anniversary photo is really lovely

Happy anniversary to you both ann, lovely photo, elegant times. and

Happy anniversary. I love the dress, better than the strapless ones of today that are designed to show off tattoos

Lovely photo, annsixty

Oh Ann, that's lovely. He's a real good looker too! Well, it might be the fashion of its time but I think there's something lovely about the lacy long sleeves, compared with today's bare shouldered look. Congratulations on your 58 years together.

Here it is then. 58 years ago today. So young , so slim and SO old fashioned.

Hope you have a safe journey tomorrow DaphneB.

Not the hoped for outcome ann, so frustrating. It really shouldn't be so hard. It seems easier here, but why should it? A neighbour with dementia has a (male) 'sitter' twice a week for two hours so his wife can have a break, often she just sleeps, sometimes a coffee with us or another neighbour. Her husband occasionally plays a card or board game with his 'sitter', often they just watch t.v. together or look at photos. Would your husband agree to that sort of thing? Theirs came after a SSD assessment for his wife as a carer. I guess if it was available to you it would be in place, but I just wondered if it was possible. Your plans to go out sound a good option, you've thought through your support needs post operation but somehow it doesn't seem enough. I do wish there was more for you - now - you deserve it.

Hope your visit to your grandson goes well tomorrow daphne, the little ones cause worry far bigger than their size

Lovely photos as ever soop. Wouldn't be Visiting again today except I've started a thread asking for people's experiences with conservatory flooring to help our current dispute and couldn't resist taking a peep at that and then a peep in here. Goodnight everyone.

Oh ann I feel so sorry for you. Why is it so hard to get proper help. Everything is so long winded, form filling, endless questions. My poor SIL has been through all the same (my brother is now in a care home). She cared for him at home until she nearly wore herself out and even now feels guilty about him being in a home even though she is getting on in years herself. Why is it so difficult to get help for people with dementia/Alzheimer's ? I do hope you can get some time to yourself. It is important that you do.

Daphne I get so mad when I see mums on the phone when they are with young children. They seem to take no notice of the little ones and just keep looking at the screen and tapping away. We are going to end up with a generation of children who are unable to talk. They are missing out on so many precious moments.

Good planning, annsixty I can see we think alike!!

I do have a fortnightly cleanerDaphne and she is coming every week when I am incapacitated by my op. She comes at 8:15 now but I want her to come at a different time in a few months so I can go out for a while when she is here. I am working toward getting more time to myself to enable me to cope better and give me a social life again which H isn't at all interested in any more.

Sorry to hear this annsixty, it seemed quite hopeful before, with your DH the only stumbling block. Without prying are you in a position to pay privately for more help, at least in the early weeks? I was parked today under a sign for a company which called itself "Helping Hands". No idea who they are, but would it be worth pursuing? Even a friendly cleaner who would also make a cup of tea, put a meal in the oven for you? Mine (fortnightly) changes the bed and duvet for us and (if necessary) his wife will do ironing. A godsend.
You need to plan for every bit of support you can in advance rather than wait for it to be too much for you.
Here endeth the lesson

Good evening all.
I have had my telephone consultation with the GP and apart from the fact that she is a lovely person and very sympathetic we basically are no further on. They are now no longer able to offer a care package as had been suggested as they do not have the resources or the staff. It is up to me to get in touch with SS to arrange a visit for assessment but if H does not want it it will not happen, it is as simple as that. I have spoken to him about it and we have agreed that if I do not cope when I have my op and if we really need more help we will then go forward. I am going to attempt a couple of hours out of the house 2/3 times a week as I can leave him for a short time and see how that goes. I feel no more alone than I did before but anyone newly facing this journey I feel very sad. There really is very little help out there. H is not a gregarious man and not a joiner so the sort of clubs/activities suggested by the Alzeimers society are not for him. As my D says, he has to get much worse before things get better.
We will carry on as we are for now and I hope the short breaks I intend having will lift me for the rest of the time.
The Dr did ring me back and suggested I get him to the surgery for bloods and blood pressure check to make sure all is well and decided to keep him on his Memantine as while there is no improvement as there never will be it may be slowing progress down.
She also said in the case of another fall I must ring 999.

Oh I love the name 'Boggit'! Seems straight out of a Raould Dahl book. He's gorgeous.

Drive carefully DaphneB I had totally forgotten that you were going to check up on the wee man tomorrow. Grace will get some peace and I do hope that DH is well.

Daphne B Grace is not very tidy is she? Take up as much of the room as possible why don't you Grace.
The dog who wants to be noticed. She is very pretty though.

That Grace is such a star. Her name suits her very well.
Enjoy seeing baby and family tomorrow, DaphneB Lots and lots of cuddles. And, if us lot are lucky, maybe a pic to awww and cooo over.

Care home visit in the morning. I shall be with you early afternoon. Take good care of yourselves.

Daphne why should Grace want to hide? She is so good there should never be any necessity unless she hears that implement of supposed torture called a vacuum cleaner. She is rarely far away from her beloved rug. She would not like this house with no carpets or rugs.

One of the things Grace is not very good at - HIDING.

oldgoat I know that Boggit is not yours but it is not too late to change that awful name. Tara had two names when she had two other homes, Caroline and Connie neither of which I liked. She was nameless for a week and then the name Tara suddenly hit me and she learned her new name very quickly.

We have had a few spots of rain, nothing much yet.

Daphne I do not know why many people have children- one wonders when she does bother to communicate with the little girl.

Oldgoat, Boggit (horrid name!) is a beautiful cat, I hope his recovery continues to the good.