Feeling sorry for men

GandTea how do you know I don't look like that anyway?

Trisher I agree with almost everything you say. I do not enjoy shopping, it is a necessity not a leisure pursuit. I do not like chocolate either!! Can I be a woman?

I think many of the men accompanying women when they shop are there because they insist on it and the women wish they would go away.

I have only once stood on the edge of a playing field and I have never done it since, even then i spent most of the time sat in the club house reading. Boyfriends and husband have always been free to play/watch sports in the cold and the wet and I have certainly played them, but I have always been very clear that standing around watching is something I will not do.

Well said trisher I am independent like to shop on my own or with my daughter only shop with my husband for groceries and home ware if we do go together it's to buy things for both of us and stop of for coffee and cake etc. I don't think it's fair to expect my H to wait outside a changing room. He wouldn't anyway.

I agree that in many areas are suffering greatly. I am not sure that waiting outside shops for women in order to keep the peace is an actual infringement of their human rights but that they are losing out to women in the jobs front, becoming ill both physically and mentally because they no longer have a place or role in the world, unable to find housing without partners, are being shortchanged by porn, gaming, drugs, alcohol and gambling, having the highest risk of suicide and serious illness and are suffering the worst effects of divorce are all terrible prices to pay for the 'improvements' of the modern world.

These effects are not all the responsibility of women gaining more influence and of gender equality. Many are to do with technologicl and social change and globalisation but they are corrosive and I truly sympathise with modern men.

I have a son and a daughter and, while she has slipped into the world of work with ease and now has a house with a partner and a rosy future ahead of her, my son, who is older, has only just, after six years, gained permanent employment and has no prospect of buying even a flat on his own on his salary.

Greyduster, if you really MUST go into angling shops, I suggest you go in disguise, false beard, false beer gut, swear like a trooper, etc. Women should not be allowed in such places, you will want to join golf clubs next.

There are times when he is quite happy to sit outside a changing room - like the underwear section in M&S where I decided recently to buy a bra while we were out shopping for other things. I didn't think that sitting surrounded by ladies lingerie would be good for his blood pressure so I banished him upstairs to the coffee shop!

At a time when the husbands held the cheque book, there were plenty of them waiting outside changing rooms and often having to give their approval to purchases. Nowadays, women who earn a good living have no need of either approval or his credit card, and I know that my DiLs do not drag their OHs along on shopping expeditions. In fact, the OH is probably at home with the DC.

I do think this goes back to the days when most women didn't drive. Personally I hate shopping & my husband loves it so we very rarely go out together. I dash in & buy just what I know I want & he will traipse round all morning to every blessed shop there is!

We do do furniture together.

I do make an exception in craft shops where I can spend hours mooching but I prefer to buy clothes online & try them on in peace.

I no longer go 'clothes shopping'as despite a massive weed out I have enough clothes for the rest of my life And for virtually any occasion ...if I spot something in a window I really like I might go and try it on. .DH and I have been together 36years. He has never been clothes shopping with me .I buy all his clothes except his shoes as he is a)colour blind b) hasn't a clue
Regarding other purchase I usually narrow it down to three or four I like and ask him for a final decision
He likes a wander round bookshops but has never enjoyed shopping (Though he will wait patiently if our DDs and I 'pop in'to interesting shops on holiday )

TRISHER I agree. Hate shopping and so does D H. Never take him clothes shopping.

Can' t say I feel particularly sorry for men. Both sexes have their problems and stereo types. I think often these days people are 'offended' where a while back we might have just laughed things off. As for periods versus shaving each day, I would gladly take the shaving !

DH has the same problem when he buys threads, needles etc. He can make curtains and clothes whereas I can just about sew on a button.

If I am buying clothes, I go on my own - DH is hopeless and DD far too critical. If DH is buying clothes, he likes me to go along to save him from any sartorial faux pas! He has a different idea about what fits him than I do! I never fail to marvel, though, at how long it takes a man to take off one pair of trousers and put on another! I know I'm not alone in this? As for sexism in shops, I find this exists in spades in fishing tackle shops, where women buying on their own behalf are regarded as freaks of nature to be kept at a distance and poked with a long stick if they get too near the counter! I went into our local outlet one day and asked for a spool of line. "What breaking strain does he want?" I was asked. "Who?" I asked. "Aren't you shopping for your husband? That's usually why we get women in here!" I walked out and found somewhere more gender enlightened!

I really dislike the assumptions made by this thread, especially the idea that women must like shopping and drag men along with them. I hate shopping and can think of a dozen things I would rather do. And most of the young women I know now shop on-line. Yes there probably are women who shop and drag men along with them, but this is not necessarily 'typical' women's behaviour. The great thing about equality is it gives us all choices and I have no doubt there are men who will spend hours searching for the right shirt or jacket just as women search for a dress.
As far as the accompanying goes, how many women have stood freezing on the edge of a field watching their man chase some sort of ball?
Equality means people are free to develop all sides of their personality without having to think if it is suitable behaviour for their sex. So yes there are women who will objectify men, and vice versa. The time this becomes unacceptable is when the person being objectified is regarded as inferior and has no means of countering this.

{smile] you HAVE been good Gandtea

I love your list !!

My favourite shops :-

Craft shops
Clothes shops
Pound shops
Book shops
Coffee shops
Homeware shops

Do I get a £500 uku past her, depends how many brownie points I have amassed, so far 4 times.

The reason I like M&Co, is that I don't have to look forlorn, they have an area to sit in, comfortable chairs and some magazines.

The shops I like :-
Pound shops
Charity shops for books
Music shops
Hardware stores
Model shops
Outdoor shops
Garden shops
Pawn brokers/cash x change

ah that's different though Gandtea isn't it...you might take her but she does her own thing. So you're not generally looking forlorn outside the changing rooms.

We definitely ask each others opinions but we agreed many, many years ago- its just an opinion ;-) Do you get the £500 ukulele thing past Mrs P often?

Teetime that sounds more like us - we go together, split up to do our own thing and then text to meet up for coffee and cake

I'v said that for ages.True equality is treating everyone the same irrespective of age race or gender.Those extreme feminist,GrandTea get a lot of people's goat.Hope I never meet one,bound to end up with me eye in a sling.

Generally no I don't feel sorry for men except of course for the poor souls who do not have a nice woman to keep them on the right track, clean and tidy etc. The balance is still very much tipped in favour pf men in our world I think. As for clothes shopping DH never/rarely came with me when I worked but now we are retired and he has a bit more time on his hands he might occasionally come (although I do most things on line) and he will wander off to book shops etc and I ring his mobile when I want him to come back. The only time I really seek and opinion is if something is expensive and then I just want him to encourage me to splurge - he's not very good at this bit.

PS I like men's bodies I don't think they look comical - unless the have breasts and a beer belly.

"Why would you take your husband shopping"

Because I am the one who drives, and we live 10 miles from the nearest dress shop.

I usually wander off around the shops that interest me, then get a coffee until Mrs P is done. Although if I meet her in M&Co, she will ask my opinion on some things, as I do about things I buy (what do you think of this ukulele dear, beautiful isn't it, and a bargain at £500)

I went shopping with my daughter to Topshop in Manchester and outside the waiting room were young men looking bored waiting for their girlfriends, I was quite surprised as Topshop is not where I normally shop so I did wonder if Man U or City had been playing would they be there.

Luckygirl never a truer word !!

But my question is why would you take your husband clothes shopping anyway? I love mine dearly but him saying 'yes that looks nice' is no indication that it does.

We go shopping together often but if I'm seriously clothes shopping Id go with one of my daughters. Grampy has even opted out of my twice yearly shopping trips with our Granddaughter ( aged 9) because he's bored rigid.

Better he stays home , or goes off to do his own thing than sits outside the changing room endlessly.

I am confused by many of the comments, just so not used to them . However, I can't say that I have notice being patronised in adverts etc. Must be thick skinned or thick.

I am all for equality...of course. I can remember in the 60s things we took for.granted when we were younger. My father had a string of sexist, yet kindly jokesnagainst women which would make us cringe today.

I however hate the way the tables have turned and men are patronised in adverts.for being useless and having smart, smug female partners. Just look at that fool of a dad in the Oxford Reading tree. Most books end with".Oh Dad!" as he has done something daft.

luckygirl ha ha that put a smile on my face!

I remember complaining to my mother about having to have periods - it's not fair etc. = and she said that she thought it was better being a woman having a period for a week once a month than having to shave EVERY DAY. That was at a time when beards were definitely a no no unless you were a sailor just come ashore. Sorry if this is a little off the point