Feeling sorry for men

Please stop feeling sorry for us. It is making me feel uncomfortable, not used to it I'm sure a punch line is waiting in the wings.

GandTea .

I dont feel sorry for men! I find the phrase quite demeaning! isnt that discriminating? ?

Exactly FarNorth. It has also just occurred to me that there are people of both sexes who don't mind being thought of as 'sex objects' and even play up to that image.

From Trisher "So yes there are women who will objectify men, and vice versa. The time this becomes unacceptable is when the person being objectified is regarded as inferior and has no means of countering this."

Men, in general, are at no risk of being in that position.

Precisely Mick, "Where is the problem"

The scale hasn't tipped. I am a 65 yr old man with a varied background. After years of physical work, destroying my body, I was put on permanent disability. My wife, at the time, could earn a good salary in her own profession this left me as disabled househusband. Did I feel "unmanned" no. I knew I was still the man, male role model, in the home. I carried out the duties normally reserved for womwn, in the traditional society, shopping, cleaning, washing, pack ups, cooking. Had I lost my place? No, all my children respect me and love me as do my grandchildren. Waiting outside a changing room is something I have done on request but most often a woman prefers the company of another woman, so it was rare. I only will meet women on an equal basis, I know I'm a man, where is the problem.

Couldn't agree more with Trisher. Hate shopping. Ex (male) loves it. But never took him along. Would have preferred both of us to read a book, see a film, go for a walk, etc, and then swap thoughts.

Shopping for clothes on line is no good,most of it goes back,better to see it properly.I buy my husbands clothes.

Give and take,GrandTea,some women wouldn't know anything about that.yes and some men.They know take though.

I shop online. M&S or Bon Marche.
If M&S have what I like and I know it will fit I buy 2 before they go. Easy Peasy. Lol.

In days of yore when we were going to a 'do' OH would say something like 'why don't you get yourself something new to wear?' At the time he was the only earner but I balanced the books and, if we could afford it, I would buy whatever for whoever needed it the most. He would never have wanted to come with me and I never expected him to. However, after our son was born I did expect OH to babysit while I went shopping, which worked well for us both. I got a couple of hours to myself, while he got a couple of hours alone with our child which was special for them both.

GreyDuster, I have this vision of you standing of the banks of the Spey, dressed in a tweed jacket/skirt and brogues. Casting your greyduster with your vintage Hardy rod and reel.

I thought this was a light hearted thread and not to be taken seriously So I agree Gandtea .

We value each other's company which is I watch the occasional football match and he occasionally waits for me to try stuff on. Give and take is how we see it.

I don't think my husband feels hard done by . I'll make a note to ask but during the footie !!

That sounds like a fine arrangement that suits you both, gand. It's the ones who hang about looking bored that one wonders about.

Some of you really are over thinking this. If my wife wants me to go with her, I will, if not, I don't. She does however often ask my opinion. Doing things together is what being married is about for us and as we get older and our days together are numbered, we spend more time valuing our time together.
I'm also sure that most men do not think their lives have changed for the worse, different maybe, but still Ok.

Yes. True. Why do some women want their menfolk there? Maybe their menfolk are control freaks about what their wives wear.

And I sometimes get exasperated by men hanging around in women's clothes shops while their partners browse. They just get in the way, sort of hovering...

Men who say they go shopping with their wives/partners "to keep the peace" even though they hate it are playing the victim card. They are also implying that their wives will be horrible to them if they say "No. I'd really rather be..." which, after all, is a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

In short, it's the women's fault. Still.

I don't feel sorry for them about this sort of thing.

In fact I don't feel sorry for men in general for any reason at all. I have felt sorry for an individual sometimes, but that has nothing to do with their gender.

I'm glad that when my children were young it was expected that women gave up work to be a full time parent. It meant that I could be a full time mum without that the guilt or pressure that young mothers often feel today if they want to stay at home.

I don't want it to return to being an expectation but I hate the way being a mum has been devalued. I know some women have to work (there always were some) but others work because it's expected of them.

I do 99% of my shopping on the net as I hate traipsing round shops.

My OH? - I am not entirely sure that he has the remotest idea what the inside of a shop looks like any more!!!

When we did used to go shopping many many moons ago prior to the net, it used to drive me crazy if he needed shoes.....he refused to try them on in the shop! Why? - well don't ask me!!

I too, think the pendulum has swung too far, there no longer seems to be a dividing line, although I am not sure what that is or was; I only know that once upon a time the men usually 'helped', with the daily running of the household, now-a-days, because so many couples work, the men are more involved with the daily running of everything, not a bad thing, but I do think it has gone a little too far. I also happen to think that women are missing out by needing to go to work - yes, I know they do need to in some cases, but I honestly think that when my children were young, although we did not have a lot, I had the best of it. I could see the other half off to work, settle down with the children,( before they were school age,) suit myself when I went to the shops, sit down with them and play, put them down for a sleep in the afternoon, put my feet up, listen to women's hour, and dad would come home to a cooked meal and in time to bath the children and a bedtime story.

I think men have it much harder nowadays and would agree that the pendulum has swung too far but hopefully it will come back across to a more equable point in the future.
In the meantime it is very hard for some men in more profound ways than just waiting around shop changing rooms. We have a friend who was divorced by his wife when he became ill and in the meantime she had run up every kind of credit card and bill in order to feather her own nest. Our friend has had to live in a series of temporary accommodations until eventually one of his female relatives rented a flat with him so that he could have a home. This was because he was told by the housing people that as a single man on his own, particularly if working and paying taxes, he would never qualify for social housing. Since he is on minimum wages he will never be able to buy his own home so it is a difficult situation to be in.

I agree, MOnica - I don't like chocolate (any more) and shopping, I can take or leave.

But if my husband is standing or sitting outside the changing room, I can't concentrate and certainly can't make up my mind. On my own, I go in, try on, buy, end of. But I like to have the luxury of an open end in case I want to try something else or am not quite happy with what I've taken into the changing rooms with me.

My DH objects to the way Daddy pig is portrayed in Peppa pig books ie stupid. Mummy pig is best st everything!