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Grown up grandchildren

(36 Posts)
Lona Sun 05-Jun-16 13:23:51

If my 17 yr old dgd passes her driving test in a couple of weeks I know she'll be visiting a lot more at first ?

Jenty61 Sun 05-Jun-16 12:58:49

mine were part of my life until they were old enough to look after themselves while their mother worked...(i had them before and after school and through the holidays even when they were poorly) now they are adults I rarely see them ....?

Willow500 Sun 05-Jun-16 12:49:28

My granddaughters were very much part of our lives until they were 10 and 6 when they moved 2 hours away and we didn't see so much of them. They were still very happy to see us when we visited but as they've grown older they've obviously been more interested in their own friends and activities - the younger one more so. Now at 18 and 14 the eldest one is at an age to drive and having a boyfriend not far from here often comes up and always comes to see us. She enjoys going shopping which I've been happy to oblige smile and is in fact coming up this week for a few days. The younger one came up last week with her dad for a day and we did spend some time together without her constantly on her phone which was nice - sometimes it's best to just have one to one contact to talk to them on their level. My own sons were very close to my parents as they just lived round the corner and my eldest one often took them out for day trips once he was married - they took them on holiday to Somerset too. My younger son thought the world of his granddad and I believe he held off emigrating until they had passed away. Neither of them were that close with my in-laws as they didn't see so much of them. I think like your children once they hit their teens they move on but as they get older they actually come back to you as adults.

Greyduster Sun 05-Jun-16 11:49:20

Same as roses - ours is nine and we are already fading into the background somewhat with him. All perfectly normal. There are times when he has to stay over for a day or so and it is obvious that he would rather be with his friends than be with us, but we still have fun. When he gets even older I have no doubt that most of the time he won't give us a second thought. Out of sight, out of mind. My son has two stepsons who are now 18 and 21. They are lovely chaps, but lead such busy lives (and have done for a few years now) that they are rarely able to be around when we go to visit unless it is a family occasion. When they are around, it is a pleasure to be in their company. I don't think they see their grandparents that much either. It's a fact of life; I saw this happen with my mum and dad's grandchildren (they didn't really know mine) - they dwindle from being a constant presence almost to being just a photo on the mantelpiece. At the moment we are grateful for whatever we can get smile.

annsixty Sun 05-Jun-16 11:47:28

That shouldn't have been posted. Apologies all?

annsixty Sun 05-Jun-16 11:46:32

It is DSO good to hear that some postetrs

grannyactivist Sun 05-Jun-16 11:44:15

I'm going against the grain here. My children all maintained independent relationships with my husband's parents throughout their teen years and now into their 20s and 30s. My parents in law have always had at least one holiday a year with us and the children were regularly included in visits to their grandparents - usually for a meal. Then as the children hit the mid teen years my parents in law would take them out for lunch and a 'catch up' individually - which they still do. Birthdays and Christmas are usually spent with the extended family so we often have the opportunity to get together and maintain what I think of as 'informed contact': basic information about what's going on in each other's lives is known and shared.

I think it's quite usual for teens to withdraw a little from family life in general, but keep in touch and I'm sure they'll come through this period eventually.

ninathenana Sun 05-Jun-16 11:20:03

My GC are still young but from talking friends it would seem this is a common fact.
Sad but not surprising in my opinion. Seeing friends and exercising their independence takes precedence over GP's for teens.

Anniebach Sun 05-Jun-16 11:18:46

Most definitely Luckylegs. It is something which is causing me to feel really down . I know they love me and have always encouraged them to fly free , think I find it difficult because I had to share parenting of them with my son in law for the last seven years , and when their mother was well she brought them to my house every day , so have been so involved with them since they were born

rosesarered Sun 05-Jun-16 11:18:35

I can't answer this yet ( DGS aged 11) but I think this would be normal behaviour.
My other DGC ( much younger) are still at the delighted to see us stage, and get over excited at times, very sweet.The 11 Year old, still likes being with us, but not quite as it was a couple of years ago.all natural, if we think back to our own DGP ( I still wanted to see them, but had other more exciting things going on, growing up stuff, friends and boyfriends.)

Luckylegs9 Sun 05-Jun-16 11:08:43

Do any of you that been very much part of grandchildrens lives, with holidays and days out, find that when they get to mid teens you rarely see them. If you do, do they respond to your invitations or do you press to see them.