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Housing dilemma

(99 Posts)
Luckygirl Fri 20-May-16 20:32:52

Heart or head?

We fell in love with our home 25 years ago when we bought it - it is a unique cottage with fabulous uninterrupted views in the most peaceful village you can imagine. When you are sitting outside all you can hear are birds and cows munching the grass. But........it is on a hill and I can barely walk down our steep drive and garden (unhealed broken foot and unsuccessful hip replacement) and there are few places I can go for a walk as it is hilly all round, but very very beautiful of course. Our lane is very narrow and steep. OH has PD and the same problems apply to him; and will of course get worse over time.

We have found a spacious 4 bedroomed bungalow on the outskirts of a village about 20 minutes away (so we would not lose contact with our friends/activities etc.) - it is on a flatter road, has a bus service (not frequent, but better than none!), we could walk to a wood nearby. It has a large decking area extending round the whole of one side with far-reaching, but not nearly as beautiful, views. To us country bumpkins it feels quite "urban" as we are so used to being in the middle of nowhere - it has houses on either side and opposite - though you cannot really see them much because of the trees etc.

The thing that feels the most difficult about the decision is that when you sit outside this bungalow you can hear the drone of traffic from the main road about half a mile away. I am sure all the town dwellers on here will think I am bonkers, but I really do not know whether I could get used to that, because the peace means so much to me.

But.......it would make a lot of sense to be living in a bungalow.

Heart or head? - what do you think?

Mardler123 Tue 24-May-16 12:37:10

Head. We did what you are contemplating 6 years ago. DH has PD and I have arthritis. He is now 92 and I am not far behind. We were in a much loved old cottage, but opted to move right into our nearest Market town. It was a big adjust ment but no regrets. We are close to a good hospital and all the amenities of a good shopping town. If I have to stop driving before the arrival of the driverless car then taxis won't be such an expensive problem. Good luck whatever you decide.

karenghanley Tue 24-May-16 11:57:52

go for it - here's a template for choosing a new home:

same (type) of home/new area same (type) of home/same area

different (type) of home/new area different (type) of home/same area

and then a list of:

what do we need NOW, what might we need in 10 years time?

What would be 'nice to have's' NOW, and in 10 years time

e.g. here's my list for now and in 10 years: my local faith community, a good shop nearby (may not be using a car in 10 years), a croquet club for P., high speed broadband for working from home, space for 2 of us to work from home, good local transport, good nearby GP practice, options for pilates and yoga (me)
stairs??????????????

we moved in January from Herts to Notts using this list

good luck!

Synonymous Tue 24-May-16 11:43:37

Luckygirl you are indeed living up to your nom-de-plume! You have it all on a plate and just have to give the go ahead. smile
We were in a similar position in 2014 and received a cash offer for our house out of the blue and your description of the bungalow could very well be our new home. We have enjoyed updating, personalising and making this our home and it does not look or feel like the same place. We understand exactly how you feel as we had the most amazing location in our last home. One guest who arrived at night opened the curtains in the morning and screamed very loudly making us all rush to see what was the matter; she said she couldn't decide if she was in heaven or fairyland! We are now busy making the garden into our own with plants we love and landscaping it to open up views and close off those we would rather not have. Our new view is lovely too but very different.
DH really, really did not want to move but acknowledged in the end just how necessary it was since clearly we are never going to become fitter or more able. Now he loves it and it is 'home' and I just love being on one floor as it makes living so much easier and I can easily access the garden. The only thing we miss out on which you will have is proximity to the DC and DGD although we were never going to get that as they are somewhat scattered! You are truly blessed with both family and friends in the vicinity.
You will need a solicitor to ensure all the legalities are correctly observed.
Your head is the thing to go with and your heart will swiftly follow as you make the new place into your very own. smile

Luckygirl Tue 24-May-16 11:42:26

But I guess he can recommend to them what they might do, given that he has met us. We wait and see. It is on with two agents, so I am not sure if we also need to ask them to speak to the vendor about taking it off the market.

annsixty Tue 24-May-16 11:35:35

It will be the vendors decision to take the house off of the market not the estate agent. Most like to leave it on until something is much more final. The estate agent is there to do the best for his client.

Luckygirl Tue 24-May-16 11:13:23

I am waiting to hear back from the estate agent as to whether they are willing to take it off the market for us - we are cash buyers offering the asking price, so I can see no reason why they should not, but his secretary seemed to think they might not - so we wait...........

In the meantime my other DD has come up with a bungalow in the next village along to us! - I am trying to arrange to see it to give us something to compare with.

It is all too complicated for me!

Thanks for that link Elegran.

sucraft Tue 24-May-16 10:57:25

It has to be head

grandmaz Tue 24-May-16 10:42:50

I suspect that your heart already knows what your head (and everyone here) is telling you. You've had wonderful times and years in your beloved home, but the time has come to make changes and the bungalow will make your lives so much easier.

Its wonderful to have those fabulous views and the enviable peace and quiet...however if you are effectively going to get to the stage where you are trapped in your home due to mobility issues, or if in the meantime,, one of you falls and sustains injury, you will wish that you had grasped the nettle. It's tough, of course it is, but I am sure that you both will feel much relieved if you take the bungalow and find that getting about is so much less difficult.

Good luck and let us know what you decide smile flowers

radicalnan Tue 24-May-16 10:19:34

I live on a busy road in a small village I have got used to it rather quickly and strangely enough it can be comforting. I see the children going off to school, I know the tide of people going off to work and coming home, I believe that emergency services would be able to find me easily should I need them.

The noise disappears in the evenings and during the day even with windows open and lorries going by I still hear the birds singing.

Anyway if all else fails, hearing gets less as we age.........

You may be the same distance from a shop if you move but there may also be more people around who could help you if you run out of anything. I love solitude but we have also to consider life.

Wilks Tue 24-May-16 10:11:43

Go for it. We moved from village to a small beautiful city with public transport to coast and mountains. Hard at the time but I've never regretted it especially when I see my aged ps who didn't make the move and it is now to daunting for them in their 90s.

Elegran Tue 24-May-16 09:25:51

www.wikihow.com/Transfer-a-House-Deed-to-a-Family-Member

Elegran Tue 24-May-16 09:23:47

Our deeds have all the past transfers included in the papers. I think you need to have a solicitor draw up an official document transferring possession of the house from the old owners to the new, with signatures, not just hand over the paperwork over a cuppa (or a wine ) - but why not take advantage of a free half-hour legal consultation to find out exactly what to do?

Welshwife Tue 24-May-16 09:20:15

Personally I would still use a solicitor so that everyone concerned is confident that the who thing is legal and above board.

Luckygirl Tue 24-May-16 09:02:51

Does anyone know whether I would need to use a solicitor. Basically it is a cash purchase (no mortgages involved) with money that would be given to us (in essence - they are cash buying our existing house) by our DD and SIL. I cannot see that we need a solicitor - we would just need to inform the land registry so that they can charge us the Stamp Duty (grr!). Have I got that right?

Is there someone we have to inform when we hand the deeds over to DD?

Lona Tue 24-May-16 08:22:24

Sounds like it's meant to be Lucky! Get that offer in before someone else does! ??

Auntieflo Tue 24-May-16 08:19:25

Oh Lucky, I do so hope that you have put in an offer, the bungalow sounds wonderful. We live in a modest three bed semi, but a bit extended. We love it, as it has been our home from new, and our third child was born there. BUT, I would so love to be able to move nearer our town centre, and a bungalow would be heaven. Not going to happen methinks, but we can dream. Go with your head, and your heart will surely follow.

kittylester Tue 24-May-16 07:38:17

Looking more and mire positive Lucky.

Lillie Tue 24-May-16 07:20:58

That's so good things are slotting into place for you Luckygirl. Looking at the new property from every angle so to speak is an excellent idea.
No pressure here, but in our part of the country if you don't put in an offer the property has usually gone within 24 hours. I think you're right to shake hands on the purchase before you go on holiday as it would be awful to be disappointed on your return.

merlotgran Mon 23-May-16 23:03:11

This is sounding really positive now, Luckygirl. Some things are meant to be.

You are just stepping sideways. Allowing others to enjoy your lovely hime while you move on to a new adventure.

Get that offer in!

Jalima Mon 23-May-16 22:58:54

Yes, head! We have been halfheartedly looking for a bungalow for years (few and far between round here) and if the right one came up we would hope to move.

As for traffic, when we moved from quiet country to London suburb I was horrified by the constant hum of traffic and louder noise of planes; however, we tuned out the traffic noise (but not the planes!).

As Charleyg says, do check re possible development plans for the surrounding countryside.

Luckygirl Mon 23-May-16 22:29:21

Well - things are developing here. I have been round the bungalow again with a friend who lives in that village. I went in the evening to see where the sun goes round etc. I felt warmly towards the place and got a good vibe.

And we now have an offer of a cash buyer for here (a member of the family who will buy it to let) so we would not even have the hassle of trying to sell this place. I feel a bit gob-smacked really as this offer came to us out of the blue. But it really is a rather excellent solution. The house that we love here so much would still belong to the family, and somehow that makes leaving it easier to deal with.

I am going round it again tomorrow with our DD to see what she thinks of it and then we will have to think about putting in an offer before we go on holiday on Friday.

I am feeling a bit punch drunk really.

Luckygirl Sun 22-May-16 17:23:18

Thank you for your good wishes.

Just been chatting to our friends who live there - they came for lunch - they were very reassuring about flat walks and lots to do. And they are not the only people we know there. More thought to add to the cogitation list.

They went and listened to the traffic noise from near the bungalow on their way back and then rang us with a report - we are trying to listen to it at different times on different days. They said it was a regular gentle hum - that is at 4.30 pm on a Sunday.

wot Sun 22-May-16 17:05:17

Take lots and lots of photos of your present home and you will get joy from looking at them if you move. I still kook at photos of our house in Hove although we left it in 1967! At least that way you won't have lost it forever. Your new life could be exciting and refreshing!Much safer for you and lots of rooms to make into what you will. I wish you the best.

Charleygirl Sun 22-May-16 14:15:11

Can I play devil's advocate please Luckygirl?

I am assuming that you will not be surrounded by houses and flats within the next few years if there is an empty field? Where I live the most improbable places end up with a block of flats- the latest is so close to a railway bridge the noise and shuddering must be horrendous.

An en suite would be heaven for me and 3 loos bliss.

It sounds perfect with your mark added to itand it need not cost a fortune.

Luckygirl Sun 22-May-16 11:55:43

Yes - I have been researching paint for kitchen cupboard fronts and it all looks doable. And a lot cheaper than new fronts.

Got visitors for Sunday lunch and will get our brains into gear on the house subject when I am replete and they have gone!