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Retirement: is it all it's cracked up to be?

(83 Posts)
Campaspe Mon 11-Apr-16 18:57:02

I'm 42 and I've got another 15 years left doing a job I don't enjoy. I fantasise about me and DH being able to enjoy more freedom when we can finally retire (and by that time, our parenting responsibilities should also be vastly diminished). I look at some of the threads on Granset, and I mostly read about people being pretty happy to be retired. So, just wondering, is it as good as I think it will be? Do you get bored? Do you miss office life? Do you feel guilty when you see others at work? (Stupidly, I sometimes feel this when I take annual leave).

Is it amazing to have a life free of work and child care? I'm stuck in the treadmill of it all, and frankly, it's not the best time of my life. Help sustain me by telling me it gets better....

baubles Tue 12-Apr-16 18:02:25

Aside from all the other aspects of retirement it gives one the freedom to immediately go to family members who are in need of support. My family suffered a double bereavement last week and I was able to book a flight for the following morning without having to think about having to ask for time off.
I'll fly home tomorrow and have time for some R&R instead of having to rush back to work.

I retired two years ago and have absolutely no regrets, I'm reasonably young and fit enough to enjoy it; it was the right decision for me.

Rosiebee Tue 12-Apr-16 18:00:21

We totally love being retired despite DH being diagnosed with throat and neck cancer the month following our retirement, 5 years ago. We were both teachers and the thought of going through the surgery and daily radiotherapy visits - well I don't know how we'd have coped. Being retired gave us the 'comfort' of not having to worry about work and we were both able to come home and flop whenever we needed to.
A couple of weeks ago DH was declared 'officially cured' of that cancer. Unluckily he also started with prostate cancer, totally unconnected. But again we've been able to deal with all the treatment without outside stresses of work. It has made us think more about doing what we can, while we can. I appreciate that having a decent pension is a real bonus and we've had some fabulous holidays over the last 5 years. But on a more economical note, we've taken up bowling and voluntary work. We go to a weekly quiz with friends at the local pub and have taken to trying out new recipes together. It did take me a while though to relinquish my hold over the kitchen. Plus there's the grandchildren coming for sleepovers.
I know how lucky I am to be in this position and am not in the least bit smug. I count my blessings every day.
If I'd stayed married to my first husband it would be a totally different story.
[Rob / Helen -anyone?]

pompa Tue 12-Apr-16 17:47:29

Annsixty.Perhaps that's why I enjoy retirement. Being greeted every morning with "Darling, would you like your coffee now with your morning paper, or with your eggs and bacon". (Fat b######y chance ! grin

Theoddbird Tue 12-Apr-16 17:07:55

I am 65 an cannot afford to retire...simple.

Jane10 Tue 12-Apr-16 16:08:11

I've heard that too Annsixty. I was prepared for this invisibility but found it OK. Its a different life during the day. I see people I'd never have met while tied to 9-5. Its like a sort of new club or society of retired people who generally seem very nice.

annsixty Tue 12-Apr-16 16:03:12

Some people and I know a couple find it very hard not to be "important" after they retire. One in particular said he missed his PA greeting him in the morning with "are you ready for your coffee Mr O?". Status matters a lot to some which actually makes it ok to be an "ordinary Joe".

Jane10 Tue 12-Apr-16 15:55:47

I think my best years at work were in my 40s. I really enjoyed it and wouldn't have wanted to retire then. 50-60 were OK but I was ready to go at 60 and , luckily, was able to. I want to enjoy this phase before old age with all its problems starts to impinge. This feels like a lovely burst of time and is all the more valuable for the uncertain end date for it!

Lillie Tue 12-Apr-16 15:50:15

We had the opportunity to retire in our mid-forties and moved to sunnier climes; house with swimming pool and tennis court etc. After four years though we missed the intellectual challenge of work, I remember DH sat sorrowfully with his head in his hands at Heathrow one day because he saw all the businessmen flying off to meetings and he wasn't. So, back to work it was and we now have NO desire to retire for a long time yet. I would say at 45 take a few years off start a new career, but don't be thinking about retirement yet. You'll grow old before your time.

Nonnie Tue 12-Apr-16 15:24:28

Lindy sorry to hear that but it would be just as bad if you were not retired, ill health must be horrid at any time.

Someone said about having friends and family nearby but we didn't when we retired and moved away but now we have friends locally and travel to see family. If you are outgoing you will always make friends and there are plenty of things you can join if you want to.

Wilks Tue 12-Apr-16 14:52:28

Yes, retirement is great, but I enjoyed my work and life pre-retirement too. For the first year I had a lot of adjustments to make but then I did leave job and country at the same time so I also missed friends, family and interests too. Added to this I was in an area where little English is spoken so social interaction, which is lifeblood to me, was limited. All my choice and it has worked out well. To conclude: enjoy the present and prepare for life after work and you won't go far wrong.

Lindy Tue 12-Apr-16 13:46:33

Sorry to put a downer on everything, but retirement is the pits if you've not got your health :-( .My husband now has kidney failure on top of an ileostomy, Glaucoma and osteoarthritis! So life isn't much fun at the moment, it's mostly taken up with hospital visits. We can't get about much due to his health or finances. Good luck to those who have the health and the money. Enjoy it all.

narrowboatnan Tue 12-Apr-16 13:43:00

Retired at the end of July last year, sold the house and moved us and four dogs onto a narrow boat. We then set off to explore. I love it. I love travelling at 3mph, going through towns by the back door, cruising slowly through the country side, meeting other people at locks and pubs and mooring sites. I love having no agenda, no appointments to keep, no meetings to get to and not having to get dressed up every day. In fact, if it wasn't for our tablet dispensers we wouldn't know what day it was half the time! Our children love coming to find us for visits, sat-naving their way across country, through picturesque villages that they didn't know existed. We shall carry on cruising the British Inland Waterways until we get too old and decrepit to manage the boat and then we'll find a residential mooring somewhere where the carers can come and drag me out of bed to get me up and going for the day.

Lupatria Tue 12-Apr-16 13:25:23

i LOVE being retired!!

while i'd like a bit more money to live on, i get by with quite a nice lifestyle although emergencies are a bit difficult to cope with now and again [fingers crossed the car will pass its mot later this year].

but i seriously doubt that i'd have the time to go to work now.

ok, i take my guy to work and collect him later in the evening [two trips of 45 miles] five days a week but i can choose what i want to do with the rest of my time.

daughter and two of my grandaughters live with me and, after 20 years of living on my own, it's lovely to have the company. and, if i was still at work, i couldn't do the afternoon school run two days a week as my daughter's working [and she wouldn't be able to work either].

basically, i can do what i want, when i want [within reason], how i want, with whom i want and if i want .............. and if i don't want then i don't do!!

winifred01 Tue 12-Apr-16 13:11:27

Dreaded retirement, DH urged me to finish work as he retired 2 years earlier.
Couldn't believe how wonderful it is! Stopped wearing a watch! Enough money to enjoy life without being extravagant. Not having to get up at the crack of dawn, working BHs.
Don't take on too much voluntary work initially, you will be asked, spend first few months just enjoy life.

rafichagran Tue 12-Apr-16 12:58:18

O/P
Look for another job, enjoy your children, at 59 I am still in full time work doing a job which is pressurised, wish I had taken my own advice. But I do urge you not to wish your life away.

Dara Tue 12-Apr-16 12:35:11

It took me over a year to find things to do once my paid working life as over.

NanaandGrampy Tue 12-Apr-16 12:30:29

Pompa I'm with you. I got made redundant at 57 and the sheer impossibility of finding a senior position in the city whilst my mobility slowly declined was like reaching for the moon.

So despite it not being my plan and despite my pension slowly moving away from me I retired and had such a glorious time that DH retired 1 year later , again earlier than planned.

We have worked all our lives ,raised our girls etc.

Now we live life . We took our watches off and apart from being on time to appointments we don't care if we eat breakfast at lunch time or dinner time. We have so much less money for our DGC but so much more time.

My DH worked shifts all his life including bank holidays and Christmas and I often worked away from home so we actually enjoy time spent together for the first time in nearly 40 years.

Only advice Id give the OP is at 42 and if you hate your job - get another one . Life's too short to waste a second of your time hating something you do for 8 hrs + a day .

pompa Tue 12-Apr-16 11:59:14

LOL, I was made redundant at 57, took me about a week to decide that retirement was great. smile

cathyd Tue 12-Apr-16 11:33:57

I was made redundant just before my 60th birthday and couldn't wait to get back out to work. I was so fed up sitting around the house waiting to pick up grandkids from school, nursery etc. Last January I had a few weeks off work and enjoyed the time I had to do what I wanted during the day. I still collected grandkids from school, but the day was my own. I retired without returning to the workplace. I wasn't enjoying my work at this time and had always said I would retire when this happened, and I did.

NanaCorinne Tue 12-Apr-16 11:31:25

I retired two years ago and love every minute. I read, garden, help in a community shop, play badminton and enjoy the grandchildren. My DH is blind and retired before me, he's 68. He has just joined a punk rock band as their drummer -yes really - and they are starting gigs this month.
I would echo the others who say change your job now. 15 months is too long to be unhappy let alone 15 years. DH retrained as a social worker at 45. He went to uni, got his degree at 50 and had 9 happy years doing a job he loved before he had to retire due to health problems. It's never too late!

mischief Tue 12-Apr-16 11:29:33

I worked 6 years passed my retirement age so was ready for retirememt when it came. My brother-in-law retired early in his 50s and was completely lost for about 10 years. So I think it also depends on your mindset.

Now I have retired I love it. I dont have much money (just the state pension) and can't go on holidays several times a year like some, but I have my hobbies. I have my friends and we do things together. Although I live on my own I wouldnt have it any other way.

However, if you aren't happy in your job, why don't you look for another one. It is important to enjoy your job for your self respect and self confidence as well as quality of life. You have another 15 years to go to retirement age (and it may go up again before then) so make the most of your life now, don't look forward to when the best part of your life is behind you, until it is approaching. I wanted to work as long as I could as I really enjoyed my job, but I always knew I would know when to retire and I did.

pompa Tue 12-Apr-16 11:13:44

Ann Sixty has picked up a very important point, As the OP is only 42, she must enjoy life now, as so many of us know, reaching retirement is far from guaranteed.
All of are able to say retirement is great, because we have reached it.

Whilst it is prudent to make plans for retirement, it should not be at the expense of enjoying the day you wake up to.

Samie Tue 12-Apr-16 11:06:20

It's lovely - for the first time since you were 3 or 4 you don't have to go somewhere because someone says you have to ie school, then another school, uni, work, work, work

Its just a pity it comes in our 60's when other things start creeping up on you - age, aches, pains etc etc.. So back to the original question - the cracking up relates to us rather than the retirement

Perhaps we should have retirement years in our 40's - then after the fun go back to work again in our 60's. Bit late for me though.

Caroline123 Tue 12-Apr-16 11:05:49

I took early retirement.It was on offer and I don't regret it.every day I wake up and still feel relieved I don't have to work.
I was unhappy in my job at 39 and retrained.it was hard but I don't regret that either,I needed to move on.i was happy in my new job for a long time but moved again at 55 and loved my last job.It was the best job I ever had but the offer for early retirement was just too good to miss,and restructuring was happening so it was a no brainier.
My advise to you would be to think about retraining.it isn't always easy but you still have a long time to work unless your numbers come up on the lotto!
It took me a couple of years to get used to retirement, I was rushing around to get everything done,like I'd always done but have slowed down now.

clifford111 Tue 12-Apr-16 10:52:00

i worked from leaving school until i retired at 68 i worked every hour i could , i missed out on a lot of things eg kids growing up, limited pasttimes all to provide for my family in later life now at 70 i am disabled and not able to do the things i had planned for . my advise is to enjoy and not to worry toomuch about the future as it may not turn out as you expect.