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Retirement: is it all it's cracked up to be?

(83 Posts)
Campaspe Mon 11-Apr-16 18:57:02

I'm 42 and I've got another 15 years left doing a job I don't enjoy. I fantasise about me and DH being able to enjoy more freedom when we can finally retire (and by that time, our parenting responsibilities should also be vastly diminished). I look at some of the threads on Granset, and I mostly read about people being pretty happy to be retired. So, just wondering, is it as good as I think it will be? Do you get bored? Do you miss office life? Do you feel guilty when you see others at work? (Stupidly, I sometimes feel this when I take annual leave).

Is it amazing to have a life free of work and child care? I'm stuck in the treadmill of it all, and frankly, it's not the best time of my life. Help sustain me by telling me it gets better....

carerof123 Tue 12-Apr-16 10:17:01

i am really enjoying my retirement, bowling, exercising, looking after GD when needed, out with my daughter, shopping, cinema, gardening and greenhouse, coffee mornings with friends and my sister, visiting old friends and most of all no alarm clock!!! lol.
I also enjoy the challenge of working our state pension so that we live on that with out touching our savings. I have gone back to the old way of putting money in envelopes each month to pay for things like xmas, birthdays, window cleaner, petrol etc. The utility bills are paid DD, and what ever is left we have to make do. But as i say i dont mind as long as bills are paid we can cut down on food, we are not big eaters. Interest from savings pays for holidays and any unexpected surprises ie car repairs and service or new appliances for home. Life is what you make it and i love mine.

Nonnie Tue 12-Apr-16 10:20:55

For me if its cracked up to be good then yes, it is. Forget all that stuff about boredom, not time for that.

Why is it good? Because:

we have enough money, carefully managed
we can do things on impulse
we have enough room to get away from each other
we are 'married for better or worse but not for lunch'
we can do our own thing if we wish or do things together if we wish, mostly we do things together
can live in jeans and no make up when I want
no more aspirations
no annual appraisals
only mix with people of our own choosing
live where the air is fresh
no commuting
can put things off if we don't feel like doing them today

I could go on and on ........................

kazzer Tue 12-Apr-16 10:41:41

Hate the loneliness

Lilyflower Tue 12-Apr-16 10:41:48

Retirement is far better than I ever imagined it would be. It's the gift that keeps on giving. However, my OH is still working so we have enough to live on and I can see that a life of even comparative penury wouldn't be much fun so do your financial planning.

There is a forum on the Martin Lewis Moneyfacts website entitled 'Mortgage Free Wannabe' which has many people who planned for early retirement by overpaying their mortgages and learning to budget very efficiently. They live on shirt buttons and have all the benefits of retirement which, as others have pointed out are freedom, autonomy and choice. It's a useful site as the MFW thread and all of the other sections give brilliant advice on domestic economy. For instance, the energy thread has saved us £70 a month on dual-fuel and we had a PPI reclaim cheque recently for nearly £400.

Unless you are rich or have a more than adequate pension you will need to learn to live a non-materialistic life and enjoy the free stuff like reading, walking, volunteering, joining clubs and societies, nature, gardening and so on. Living frugally can often be fun. I now make the bread, cakes and preserves I used to buy.

Go for it.

Gracesgran Tue 12-Apr-16 10:42:02

A lot probably depends on your circumstances. If health and money are fine and friends and/or family near I am sure most people will enjoy it. I also feel fairly certain the first 10 years or so will be good for most. For most people old age and retirement go together and, as they say, old age is not for wimps - certainly not for some.

It is really good that your pension drops into your bank regularly though, without you having to feel any anxiety about how secure your income is - even if it is not a lot that feels good.

So
Pension - good
Aging - debatable
Company - slowly disappearing

Enjoy the first years of your retirement - they may be as good as it gets!

willow5 Tue 12-Apr-16 10:47:57

In a word, yes

wendylou Tue 12-Apr-16 10:48:35

I agree with everyone who thinks retirement is wonderful. Aren't we lucky! So, eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow, or at least not too far off, we .... grin

clifford111 Tue 12-Apr-16 10:52:00

i worked from leaving school until i retired at 68 i worked every hour i could , i missed out on a lot of things eg kids growing up, limited pasttimes all to provide for my family in later life now at 70 i am disabled and not able to do the things i had planned for . my advise is to enjoy and not to worry toomuch about the future as it may not turn out as you expect.

Caroline123 Tue 12-Apr-16 11:05:49

I took early retirement.It was on offer and I don't regret it.every day I wake up and still feel relieved I don't have to work.
I was unhappy in my job at 39 and retrained.it was hard but I don't regret that either,I needed to move on.i was happy in my new job for a long time but moved again at 55 and loved my last job.It was the best job I ever had but the offer for early retirement was just too good to miss,and restructuring was happening so it was a no brainier.
My advise to you would be to think about retraining.it isn't always easy but you still have a long time to work unless your numbers come up on the lotto!
It took me a couple of years to get used to retirement, I was rushing around to get everything done,like I'd always done but have slowed down now.

Samie Tue 12-Apr-16 11:06:20

It's lovely - for the first time since you were 3 or 4 you don't have to go somewhere because someone says you have to ie school, then another school, uni, work, work, work

Its just a pity it comes in our 60's when other things start creeping up on you - age, aches, pains etc etc.. So back to the original question - the cracking up relates to us rather than the retirement

Perhaps we should have retirement years in our 40's - then after the fun go back to work again in our 60's. Bit late for me though.

pompa Tue 12-Apr-16 11:13:44

Ann Sixty has picked up a very important point, As the OP is only 42, she must enjoy life now, as so many of us know, reaching retirement is far from guaranteed.
All of are able to say retirement is great, because we have reached it.

Whilst it is prudent to make plans for retirement, it should not be at the expense of enjoying the day you wake up to.

mischief Tue 12-Apr-16 11:29:33

I worked 6 years passed my retirement age so was ready for retirememt when it came. My brother-in-law retired early in his 50s and was completely lost for about 10 years. So I think it also depends on your mindset.

Now I have retired I love it. I dont have much money (just the state pension) and can't go on holidays several times a year like some, but I have my hobbies. I have my friends and we do things together. Although I live on my own I wouldnt have it any other way.

However, if you aren't happy in your job, why don't you look for another one. It is important to enjoy your job for your self respect and self confidence as well as quality of life. You have another 15 years to go to retirement age (and it may go up again before then) so make the most of your life now, don't look forward to when the best part of your life is behind you, until it is approaching. I wanted to work as long as I could as I really enjoyed my job, but I always knew I would know when to retire and I did.

NanaCorinne Tue 12-Apr-16 11:31:25

I retired two years ago and love every minute. I read, garden, help in a community shop, play badminton and enjoy the grandchildren. My DH is blind and retired before me, he's 68. He has just joined a punk rock band as their drummer -yes really - and they are starting gigs this month.
I would echo the others who say change your job now. 15 months is too long to be unhappy let alone 15 years. DH retrained as a social worker at 45. He went to uni, got his degree at 50 and had 9 happy years doing a job he loved before he had to retire due to health problems. It's never too late!

cathyd Tue 12-Apr-16 11:33:57

I was made redundant just before my 60th birthday and couldn't wait to get back out to work. I was so fed up sitting around the house waiting to pick up grandkids from school, nursery etc. Last January I had a few weeks off work and enjoyed the time I had to do what I wanted during the day. I still collected grandkids from school, but the day was my own. I retired without returning to the workplace. I wasn't enjoying my work at this time and had always said I would retire when this happened, and I did.

pompa Tue 12-Apr-16 11:59:14

LOL, I was made redundant at 57, took me about a week to decide that retirement was great. smile

NanaandGrampy Tue 12-Apr-16 12:30:29

Pompa I'm with you. I got made redundant at 57 and the sheer impossibility of finding a senior position in the city whilst my mobility slowly declined was like reaching for the moon.

So despite it not being my plan and despite my pension slowly moving away from me I retired and had such a glorious time that DH retired 1 year later , again earlier than planned.

We have worked all our lives ,raised our girls etc.

Now we live life . We took our watches off and apart from being on time to appointments we don't care if we eat breakfast at lunch time or dinner time. We have so much less money for our DGC but so much more time.

My DH worked shifts all his life including bank holidays and Christmas and I often worked away from home so we actually enjoy time spent together for the first time in nearly 40 years.

Only advice Id give the OP is at 42 and if you hate your job - get another one . Life's too short to waste a second of your time hating something you do for 8 hrs + a day .

Dara Tue 12-Apr-16 12:35:11

It took me over a year to find things to do once my paid working life as over.

rafichagran Tue 12-Apr-16 12:58:18

O/P
Look for another job, enjoy your children, at 59 I am still in full time work doing a job which is pressurised, wish I had taken my own advice. But I do urge you not to wish your life away.

winifred01 Tue 12-Apr-16 13:11:27

Dreaded retirement, DH urged me to finish work as he retired 2 years earlier.
Couldn't believe how wonderful it is! Stopped wearing a watch! Enough money to enjoy life without being extravagant. Not having to get up at the crack of dawn, working BHs.
Don't take on too much voluntary work initially, you will be asked, spend first few months just enjoy life.

Lupatria Tue 12-Apr-16 13:25:23

i LOVE being retired!!

while i'd like a bit more money to live on, i get by with quite a nice lifestyle although emergencies are a bit difficult to cope with now and again [fingers crossed the car will pass its mot later this year].

but i seriously doubt that i'd have the time to go to work now.

ok, i take my guy to work and collect him later in the evening [two trips of 45 miles] five days a week but i can choose what i want to do with the rest of my time.

daughter and two of my grandaughters live with me and, after 20 years of living on my own, it's lovely to have the company. and, if i was still at work, i couldn't do the afternoon school run two days a week as my daughter's working [and she wouldn't be able to work either].

basically, i can do what i want, when i want [within reason], how i want, with whom i want and if i want .............. and if i don't want then i don't do!!

narrowboatnan Tue 12-Apr-16 13:43:00

Retired at the end of July last year, sold the house and moved us and four dogs onto a narrow boat. We then set off to explore. I love it. I love travelling at 3mph, going through towns by the back door, cruising slowly through the country side, meeting other people at locks and pubs and mooring sites. I love having no agenda, no appointments to keep, no meetings to get to and not having to get dressed up every day. In fact, if it wasn't for our tablet dispensers we wouldn't know what day it was half the time! Our children love coming to find us for visits, sat-naving their way across country, through picturesque villages that they didn't know existed. We shall carry on cruising the British Inland Waterways until we get too old and decrepit to manage the boat and then we'll find a residential mooring somewhere where the carers can come and drag me out of bed to get me up and going for the day.

Lindy Tue 12-Apr-16 13:46:33

Sorry to put a downer on everything, but retirement is the pits if you've not got your health :-( .My husband now has kidney failure on top of an ileostomy, Glaucoma and osteoarthritis! So life isn't much fun at the moment, it's mostly taken up with hospital visits. We can't get about much due to his health or finances. Good luck to those who have the health and the money. Enjoy it all.

Wilks Tue 12-Apr-16 14:52:28

Yes, retirement is great, but I enjoyed my work and life pre-retirement too. For the first year I had a lot of adjustments to make but then I did leave job and country at the same time so I also missed friends, family and interests too. Added to this I was in an area where little English is spoken so social interaction, which is lifeblood to me, was limited. All my choice and it has worked out well. To conclude: enjoy the present and prepare for life after work and you won't go far wrong.

Nonnie Tue 12-Apr-16 15:24:28

Lindy sorry to hear that but it would be just as bad if you were not retired, ill health must be horrid at any time.

Someone said about having friends and family nearby but we didn't when we retired and moved away but now we have friends locally and travel to see family. If you are outgoing you will always make friends and there are plenty of things you can join if you want to.

Lillie Tue 12-Apr-16 15:50:15

We had the opportunity to retire in our mid-forties and moved to sunnier climes; house with swimming pool and tennis court etc. After four years though we missed the intellectual challenge of work, I remember DH sat sorrowfully with his head in his hands at Heathrow one day because he saw all the businessmen flying off to meetings and he wasn't. So, back to work it was and we now have NO desire to retire for a long time yet. I would say at 45 take a few years off start a new career, but don't be thinking about retirement yet. You'll grow old before your time.