A good death

So we want a Dignitas here don't we?

I'm not in the least worried about death, just the fear of it hurting. I want to go with dignity, with my loved ones around, but above all, I want to go before I'm unable to enjoy life - if I can't enjoy music, walking, reading, talking, studying, etc, you may as well put me out of my misery there and then, because I would no longer be me!

My grandmother was with us on a camping holiday and died peacefully at night in the caravan having had a lovely day at the beach lying in a deckchair and paddling her feet in the sea. I am hoping to go the same way, peacefully when asleep after a good day. However she had chronic heart failure and what was then called senile diabetes. I hope not to get those. Her husband my grandfather died a few years before on returning home after a meeting. My other grandmother was younger when she died in her arm chair listening to the D Day radio commentary.

My mother died at home with me, going downhill for 12 days. My father-in-law was in hospital unable to swallow which was not too so good. My friend had kidney failure. We visited her in hospital. It was afternoon visiting, we had a little chat, she told my friend and I that she was tired and we could go. Her family visited that evening and then she died at 11 pm. All seemed very peaceful.

Another friend died at home addressing her Christmas cards with a glass of red wine beside her.

I am hoping to be at home but do not intend to live with children so if housekeeping becomes too much for me I accept that I will move into a home and take a favourite bookcase and my laptop with photos etc. My gret aunt was in a boarding house. Just before her hundredth birthday she gave a big family party and then died one evening a few days later. She had always said she would not live to be a hundred and that she would give a party before she died!!! And she did. Hope I am lucky enough to go so well.

My perfect death would be in about 40 years time :-)

Being of sound mind still, clutching my telegram from the King in one hand and a Frys Turkish delight in the other. Old dog at my feet, stunning sunset out the window.

yup....I'll hang on till then I think !!

Durhamjen I was also thinking about what effect GAs mother in laws demise with her baton in hand would do to the choir and audience.

I know what she meant though.

mollie what a shock that must have been. How comforting a thought that you feel he was happy.

I do not think I will know what my idea of a good death is until I know it is in sight.

I do not think I will know what my idea of a good death is until I know it is in sight.

Grannyactivist, I'm worried about that choir.

mollie how sad for you xx

All innocence and curiosity, GS1 asked me if I would wait for him when I die. It seems his other GPs have said they will wait for him. Of course, I said I would, but couldn't help thinking this was a bit spooky. I do hope he isn't dwelling on such things....

"How" not "his" in my first para!

I'm another lover of thunderstorms. Oh, his I miss the African ones. They are very dramatic and clear the air.

So I agree with Rosina.

I've told this tale on here before (I think), but in SA some years ago a wealthy businessman who was very "green"; when he learnt he had terminal cancer, took his own life in a remote spot on his farm - where for months previously he had been establishing a "vultures' restaurant".

Just hope I out live my dog. I would hate to think that I died in the house and she was left alone with no food or water before anyone realised that something was wrong.

Not so much about how I die, which I would like, most others here hope to be peaceful and without pain, but how my lovely OH, daughter and son would feel about it. I would not like them to be terribly sad, or grieve too long about it.

radicalnan - just for clarity I perhaps should say that the lady who died was someone I had known for more than 14 years and I was asked to pray for her in my role as a chaplain. She had a very strong Christian faith, so for her the prayers were an appropriate response.

I'm not afraid of death but more of what comes before it. My mum suffering for years with dementia was bad enough but the spells in hospital where other elderly patients were calling out 'please help me' or calling for people that didn't come was horrendous. I know I would rather go earlier, peacefully in my sleep, than live a few years longer in pain or torment.

Friend's father died one beautiful July day after working in their lovely garden all afternoon with his wife .He went upstairs to lie down, feeling a bit 'off'.She called Dr Docter came and went saying he'd probably just overdone it a bit . She went upstairs with a cup of tea after seeing Dr out and he'd gone .Massive heart atack .He was 83.That would be my choice .
Awful shock for everyone else though ...

I sometimes think, having had a lot of health problems, when I'm feeling unwell "I can't die now, it would be such a bad time for my daughters." Utterly ridiculous, of course, because no time is going to be that great for them. Conversely, I am with other posters who would prefer sudden and unaware. Like Woody Allen, I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I also know someone who had his tea and was sitting in his favourite armchair with a drink watching a comedian on TV with his wife, and literally died laughing. Not a bad way to go! Can't remember which comedian.

My grandfather died in his sleep which was lovely for him but awful for my grandma. My mother died suddenly of a heart attack whilst driving her car on her own. Again quick and merciful for her but a huge shock to us all.

I agree with euthanasia under certain circumstances eg when life has become unbearable through pain, paralysis Etc and if the condition is. incurable and progressive. I think it's really cruel to keep people alive against their will. But it has to be their choice and more than one doctor to agree.

I just hope against hope that I keep all my marbles and my continence so that I'm not a burden or nuisance to my loved ones.I'd hate for people to say it was a blessing that I had died. My mother lingered for 5 years in a nursing home, blind, deaf, semi-paralysed, incontinent and senile. You couldn't call it life--it was awful for her and all the family. On the other hand, my dear friend died in a hospice, fully aware and pain free,having summoned all her close friends to say goodbye--- her last words to me were " Goodbye, love, I'll see you soon".

a good death for me would be another thirty years to 103 so I can see my grandchildren grow up and enjoy them for many more years. They are all under 8.

It bloody would in me, Pompa!!