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Am quite upset with my friend.

(49 Posts)
Wilks Wed 02-Mar-16 09:45:30

You did absolutely the right thing and it will be a comfort to your grandchild to have his granny there. Your post made me think about my parents' reaction whenever I tell them our little one is ill: 'Oh, so you'll be steering clear then. You don't want to catch it' it's a different story when I'm needed to look after them though!

grumppa Tue 01-Mar-16 23:39:13

If I arrange a lunch or something with former colleagues or current friends it is always on the understanding that I may have to cancel if a grandparenting issue crops up. On the rare occasions when I have had to rearrange nobody has ever complained, not even those with no comparable family commitments of their own.

Jomarie Tue 01-Mar-16 22:42:40

Just love the posters supporting the put out friend - ok - so sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. I'm not a bit surprised at his response after all are they not the most important people in the universe? Shame on you for putting your sick grandchild first!!!!

Jalima Tue 01-Mar-16 20:05:05

Has he got any grandchildren of his own?
Or family that he would put first without hesitation?

Hope your DGS is better soon

Jane10 Tue 01-Mar-16 20:04:27

Maybe he'd had a really bad day and you cancelling was the last straw. Sounds like it was an outburst that he regrets -phoned and texted to apologise. He must have been really looking forward to your meet up. Hope GC OK soon (and you don't catch it!)

Iam64 Tue 01-Mar-16 19:35:36

Goodness KateK, i don't know any gran who wouldn't have done exactly what you did. I think it's already been said "men, humph" they really are a different type of human sometimes, good job we love them.

M0nica Tue 01-Mar-16 19:14:43

We all do and say stupid things because for some reason or another we are having a bad day, have a headache, plimber didn't turn up as planned etc etc.

He is your friend. He has apologised (in a roundabout male way), without being challenged first, so I would just shrug it off as one of those blips (on both sides) that can occur in any friendship. Perhaps find out what was troubling him at the time he reacted as he did.

rafichagran Tue 01-Mar-16 18:21:32

Go and look after your Gs, your friend is being childish and unreasonable. Also too my mind a bit controlling.

mumofmadboys Tue 01-Mar-16 17:16:00

It sounds as if he regrets his words.Perhaps he will apologise. Maybe he was looking forward to it and just said his true feelings without thinking first.

WilmaKnickersfit Tue 01-Mar-16 17:09:56

Katek definitely feeling guilty! grin

petra Tue 01-Mar-16 17:05:49

I wouldn't be seeing or hearing from him again.

grannylyn65 Tue 01-Mar-16 16:13:35

Men !! ??

sherish Tue 01-Mar-16 14:59:03

I take it your friend is an adult. I would have to remind him of this and also remind him it is your life, your family and your decision to do what you feel is right. If he can't accept it and is still in a grump, find someone else to have regular lunches with. I'm sure they'll appreciate your company and also appreciate that you have your own life to lead.

Katek Tue 01-Mar-16 14:57:12

Now he's texting!

Atqui Tue 01-Mar-16 14:56:28

My friends know that family comes first, and especially grandchildren. Hope your friend will,realise how unreasonable he is being .

Katek Tue 01-Mar-16 14:55:09

Armed with hand sanitiser Lucky!! Thanks for all the supportive posts-I just didn't expect the response I got from my friend. I thought he'd be more supportive. Having said that he's just called back with a very trite excuse and was much less grumpy. Mayhap a tad guilty??

Luckygirl Tue 01-Mar-16 14:39:22

Ignore it! Enjoy your time with GS - and WASH YOUR HANDS!! - we don't want you coming back with the vomits!

Indinana Tue 01-Mar-16 14:00:02

Your friend is being utterly self-centred and behaving like a child. Of course you must put your family first - all of us grans on here would do exactly the same in the circumstances.
It's not even as though he hasn't seen you for ages and this was a rare opportunity to catch up. He can see you next week, for God's sake!
Go and take care of your little GS, and don't give Mr Grumpy a second thought smile

FarNorth Tue 01-Mar-16 13:52:07

Might your friend be concerned on your behalf that you are sometimes taken advantage of? Or do you believe he is just in a huff over a missed lunch date?

Either way, it's your choice and he'll have to lump it.

NanaandGrampy Tue 01-Mar-16 13:46:39

The clue is in the word 'emergency'.

You haven't capitulated , you're being a loving ,supportive mum and Gran .

Don't even give your 'friend' a second thought, except maybe to wonder why you're friends smile

Alea Tue 01-Mar-16 13:43:24

Gosh if a granny can't drop everything for the sake of a poorly grandchild, what hope is there. Presuming your friend is not in the latter stages of a debilitating illness, recently bereaved and not coping, or truly desperate for time with someone/anyone, then family, especially in an emergency wins hands down every time. No need to feel one iota of guilt, taking time off from teaching is very hard (ironic in what is meant to be a child centred profession) so my instincts would be yours- within the bounds of what is possible, and sadly at the moment, DH's health trumps even poorly DGC sad
Even so DH was prepared to try to muddle through the other week when DD was down with tonsillitis and really incapable of even picking the DGC up from nursery and school. Fortunately, SIL is not a teacher and was able to work from home so that he could take and fetch, so I wasn't needed.
Do not feel guilty, you are excused for feeling let down by a friend who is taking the huff. Sad, but he'll get over it!

ninathenana Tue 01-Mar-16 13:42:09

Sounds like your friend got out of bed the wrong side this morning.
He's being unreasonable, it's not like a one off arrangement that you cancelled last minute. I'd be disappointed at that but I'd understand. He has no right to get moody when you rightly put family first. I'd have done the same.

Elrel Tue 01-Mar-16 13:40:50

You did right, hope your little grandson is soon better and enjoying your care and company. I'm sure his parents really appreciate your support.

Katek Tue 01-Mar-16 13:31:50

I had an emergency call from ds/dil - small dgs was sick at nursery today and has had to be taken home. He has to be off until at least Friday so I've been asked to go and stay to look after him. Both ds/dil teach so it's not so easy for them to get time off. I'm happy with this as DH is away this week so heading off early tomorrow-I will enjoy the company and unexpected few days with dgs. I then phoned my friend to cancel our lunch tomorrow and he's gone all grumpy/moody. Says I've capitulated to them and as it's their child then they should be taking time off to look after him. To be honest I was a bit taken aback-it's not as if I don't see my friend regularly, we have lunch most weeks. In fact we were all out on Saturday for a curry. Feel like I can't do right for doing wrong and am now quite deflated.