Feeling Empty

I was going to say the same as jingl.
Plus have you said sorry if necessary

How long has it been going on for? Is there nothing you can do to get to the bottom of it? Do you know the reasons?

Are you absolutely sure you have to live with the pain?

Sorry to cross question you, but until we know more we can't really help.

Have you tried grovelling? (A horrible but maybe necessary, last resort)

It is very encouraging I would have thought that your daughter has sent a photo of your three grandchildren. Hope things will improve.

grannyactivist, what a beautiful post, full of hope and encouragement.
x

susiesusie - I trust you will cope because there is no real alternative.

I think you need to acknowledge the grief and pain of the separation. If you are able to send cards and gifts at appropriate times then I suggest you do so, but my advice is to work hard at finding another focus and concentrate on that; it could be other children/grandchildren, your job, hobbies, voluntary work - just try not to dwell on what you have no power to change.

I have been estranged from one of my daughters for many years. I have missed out on seeing my grandson and granddaughter grow and develop - and a third grandchild, born after our estrangement I have never even met. I continue to send cards (no letters as they're not welcome) and gifts - sometimes I get a response and at others I don't. Today I'm celebrating because last week I received a thank you card for the gifts I sent them at Christmas - and it has a photo of them all.

Keep hoping that one day the door that is now closed will one day be ajar and prepare for that day by not being bitter, but by being ready to seize the moment with grace and love.

Susie, I have been in that situation myself, but all is well now. Very hard to cope with at the time. I hope the situation changes for you, but feel free to contact me if you wish. Heather

It hurts but you gradually learn to live with it. I haven't seen my 6 grandchildren (plus 2 step grandchildren) for six and a half years, my eldest sons mob. He cut us out after a disagreement and none of the children have made any effort to keep in touch, the eldest is nearly 22 and a mum herself now. I did continue to see them for a year or so but as I don't drive it was difficult (they live some distance from here) and I got discouraged as none of them ever made any effort - not so much as a card or phone call.
It really depends on why the break has happened, ages of the children and the ability of them to contact you.
I hope the reason behind your loss of contact can be sorted and you get to see them soon.

Dear susiesusie, I can't imagine what this must be like. I would be heartbroken. I wonder if you might find this thread helpful www.gransnet.com/forums/relationships/1222356-Support-for-family-members-cut-out-of-loved-ones-lives-5?pg=2. I don't read it myself because I'm not one of the many on here who are 'cut out of their loved ones lives'.
I hope there is some path to a resolution of your situation

When there is any painful situation which cannot be changed, then somehow we have to find the strength, and emotional resilience, to accept it and not let it overwhelm us.

That must be heartbreaking for you Susie - as you say you're 'not allowed' does this mean there is a family rift? There are a lot of us here who don't see their grandchildren for various reasons - two of mine are on the other side of the world - I'm sure others will be able to relate to your situation and be able to offer some advice.

My heart breaks for you. x

There are several GNers sharing your sad situation Susie and hopefully they will pick up on your post and offer you support. I think there is an ongoing thread called Estranged Grandparents under the Grandparenting heading which you could follow if it would help.

Until then and ((hugs)). You sound so upset.

Oh god Susiesusie I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I don't know if you have previously posted about your grandchildren, I haven't been on Gransnet often so I don't know your story. Of course I don't know the children's ages but if they are old enough & have cell phones could you sms them (text) them to say you will always love them and will always be there for them if & when they need you or would like to see you? The same message could also be sent to your son or daughter. Always send them birthday cards and Christmas cards, even if they don't get them you will always know you have tried your best to stay in their lives. Good luck Susiesusie. I hope whoever is keeping you away from your grand children soften their hearts towards you. xx

I cannot imagine. I am so sorry. Tell us more when / if you feel able. There will be others here who can empathise {{{hugs}}}