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Ageist 'compliments'

(92 Posts)
jinglbellsfrocks Mon 08-Feb-16 17:22:14

Yeah. Cos we're doing it all the time aren't we? hmm

janeainsworth Mon 08-Feb-16 17:16:17

'Sprightly' is defined in my Concise Oxford Dictionary as 'vivacious, lively, gay' with no reference to age, so why anyone should be upset about being so described is beyond me.

I wonder if taking offence where none is intended and getting upset about such things is a contributory factor in hypertension?

varian Mon 08-Feb-16 17:10:42

Describing someone (admittedly it's usually an old man) as "sprightly" - YUK

ninathenana Mon 08-Feb-16 16:27:40

MOnica I'm with you on that one.
My friend would ask how my mum was (she had dementia) when I relayed mum's antics to her that would be her response angry

M0nica Mon 08-Feb-16 16:23:24

The one I hate is the patronising 'ah bless' when you say anything positive about the life of an an older person.

Just after my DF's 90th birthday I commented to a friend that he wanted to give up one of his (many) committee memberships but couldn't find anyone prepared to take on the work. My friend's comment was an 'Ah bless' said in that patronising tone kept specially for old people, small children and dogs. It seemed so inappropriate and patronising applied to someone, regardless of age, who was sound in mind and body and playing an active part in their community.

thatbags Mon 08-Feb-16 16:18:31

If a person's manner is properly pleasant (I mean, if they are not obviously being nasty), I don't give a damn what people call me.

I do think our culture is youth obsessed though. That can be irritating but that's a general thing and it doesn't bother me on a personal level.

obieone Mon 08-Feb-16 16:13:25

Wrong thread! blush

obieone Mon 08-Feb-16 16:12:44

I have never had any trouble telling people to keep away on this issue. Your needs far exceed theirs.
As does anyone elses' with this sort of problem.

ninathenana Mon 08-Feb-16 14:40:57

I don't mind a man my age or older calling me 'young lady' in fact it happened last week. It made me smile
Otherwise, no thankyou!

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 08-Feb-16 14:21:35

But, you wouldn't really expect a man to mind about that, would you? I'm sure my DH wouldn't. But I would.

tribecca Mon 08-Feb-16 14:18:44

I can see that janeainsworth - and when it's coming from someone of that age it makes it better somehow. But the rest - it's like when people talk loudly because they assume you are deaf or somehow have lost your faculties simply because you have grey hair (and I have seen this on a daily basis) and that's wrong and irritating at the same time.

But I think the point the article is making is that many people think it's fine to patronise you or treat you as some sort of pet thing just because you have reached a certain age. It happens all the time. It's not right. But it's not to say that younger people don't get patronised too or that that isn't wrong either

janeainsworth Mon 08-Feb-16 14:11:11

We used to have a very good butchers' shop in the village, before Waitrose came.

One of the butchers, Ken, used to address all men over the age of about 70 with the words 'Hello young man.'

No-one took offence and I think its a quite common term of endearment in the north-east.

tribecca Mon 08-Feb-16 14:09:31

So many things in there that annoy me too. I get "you're 60 but you still go to the gym? That's amazing"

Amazing? Really? Pretty much everyone in the class is over 55 and they are all fit and active.

meelie Mon 08-Feb-16 14:07:29

I also hate the '75 years young' thing. It's so bloody patronising. 75 years is not young. It's not really old. It's just what it is

janeainsworth Mon 08-Feb-16 14:07:27

I don't really identify with any of that.
I think the article shows a) sense of humour failure b)another attempt to police our language, now political correctness has run its course and c) the modern tendency to take offence at the slightest thing, and make a virtue out of it.

It is not only older people who are spoken to in deprecating ways - people of other age groups are too, and everyone deserves respect, not just older people.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 08-Feb-16 14:06:39

I hate the "young lady" thing. With a vengeance!

We must get some suitable put downs replies to this kind of thing.

Spidergran5 Mon 08-Feb-16 13:55:26

I came across this on Facebook: www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/10-compliments-people-pay-that-are-actually-ageist_us_569e8e82e4b0cd99679b9553

The ones that annoy me the most are when waiters/sales assistants call me 'young lady' and when people say "She's 75 years young"!!