It never rains but it.....

Hi GA just seen this thread and wanted to send you virtual {{{hugs}} and support to go along with the RL support from your younger relatives at this very trying time for you. Take care

I have only just caught up with this thread. ga, what a sad and difficult time you are having. I hope you're continuing to have good nights' sleep and that your mum is still as comfortable as possible. It was good that your were able to take some time out in Wilmslow. I must have a go at their charity shops sometime - Poynton isn't far away.

Glad you had some 'me time' GrannyA, my situation is not as dire as yours, but life is far from a bed of roses, so a walk along the beach at Weymouth on the only sunny day last week was bliss! for you.

Grannyactivist , I often go charity shopping in Wilmslow too ! I am in Macclesfield x

I am really truly not making this up, but one of my sister's has just phoned this evening to say that she's been told a health problem she has is 99% likely to be cancer!!

Thank you all for your good wishes and encouragement, it really does help. As for ^quis custodiet^; I am very well supported by friends and family from a distance and locally my niece and her mum (my youngest sister) are at hand and took care of mum for a few hours today so that I could have a break. This particular sister and niece have borne the brunt of mum's care, but both work full time and my sister is airline cabin crew so is often abroad.

For those of you in the Northwest, I went charity shop hunting in Wilmslow (via train and tram - quick, cheap and easy travel) and bought a beautiful woollen Paul Costelloe tunic dress, then read the newspaper in a coffee shop before travelling back to mum's. It was bliss!

An absolute deluge, ga and, as ever, you are working your way through it, and being you. But do take care of yourself. Quis custodiet and all that xxx

And more, much deserved and good wishes.

GA, my mum also has COPD and we are probably where you are now. It's difficult, isn't it! My Mum has been in a nursing home for a while so we are relieved the day to day caring duties but are forever on tenterhooks in case the phone rings - it makes getting on with 'normal life' very difficult. And, I'm the first on the list!

I admire you being there for her all the time which I don't think I could do - maybe too much history - but I have surprised myself by being much more 'caring' to her than I thought I could be. My mum no longer smokes, thankfully!

(((hugs))) and

Just wanted to agree with you about the younger generation. My MIL died 10 days ago and we live a plane's ride away. My FIL had been relying on his niece but she was away visiting her inlaws. Our son stepped into the breach despite having a FIL in hospital. He has sorted out the death certificate, dealt with the coroner, arranged the funeral and flowers. He has been flitting between two hospitals/families several hundred miles apart with no complaint.

So let the younger generation take some of the burden, they will feel guilty if they let you do everything.

End of life care brings so many challenges, not least the reaction of other family members. It's hard that you also have added worries. As you say, 'It never rains............'

Good that your nephews and nieces are helping you keep your chin up.

Look after yourself. I didn't when I was going through a similar situation and it took me months to recover from the exhaustion.

Take care.

Lovely to hear that your Mum's more peaceful night meant that you could feel a little less frazzled. Hopefully, it will continue and then your body clock will adjust to letting you have a decent night, too Shame about the smoking, I sympathise, but don't have any clever solution to it! It's probably too cold to have window open too wide. Do you have to be in the room while she's actually smoking? (I know that her room will still be smokey even when she's finished the cigarette!) Is there any way of installing some kind of extractor fan?

Hooray, mum had a full night's uninterrupted sleep for the first time in weeks, whereas I'm obviously conditioned to wake several times in the night now and I twice found myself wide awake so crept in to check on my contentedly sleeping mum. It was very good though to slide back into bed without fretting. Mum's breathing difficulties are caused by COPD and she has cachexia/anorexia - she still continues to smoke, having started 72 years ago. I can cope with all mum's personal cares without turning a hair, but I find being in the room with her smoking very, very difficult. At this stage I understand it's a matter of mum being comfortable and the doctor and nurses said that to deny her would cause needless discomfort, but although I can cope with all mum's personal cares without turning a hair, I do find it very difficult to be in the room with her smoking and often decamp to the kitchen.

Thinking of you grannya take care

Take care of yourself, Grannya.

How hard for you to be beset on all sides. Thinking of you.

I feel for you and hope that when the time finally comes for your mum it is peaceful. Caring for elderly parents is both stressful and distressing as well as exhausting - thank goodness your extended family are being supportive. It does seem that these things all seem to happen at once and I hope that your daughter on the other side of the world is ok as this must also be very worrying. Caring for both my parents with AZ my mother-in-law (herself terminally ill with cancer along with my father-in-law) said to me 'this will all pass and your life will eventually get back to normal'. She was of course right but it doesn't help ease the pain and stress you're going through right now.

Oh, grannyactivist what a stressful situation for you; take care of yourself otherwise you will be ill as well. . How good to hear of a family who are so caring for each other. I hope that some of your worries, at least, turn out to be fine. xx

ga

ga

GA it really is pouring isn't it. Well done you for supporting all these people. Has your mum got heart failure? (as in the breathing difficulties) x

Grannyactivist , You should be proud of yourself for looking after your Mum and helping her to be at home for her End of Life care . You will be for ever grateful that you did this for her , look after yourself and take all the help that is offered .
I looked after my dear Mum in the last months of her life , she moved in with me when she was no longer able to look after herself and died with her family round her as it should be .
It is difficult and very tiring , I found the "carers" that we had coming in for the last weeks were so limited in what they could do ie no lifting that they were of very little use really . Just ridiculous as there were 2/3 of them and Mum only weighed 6 stones !
Take care of yourself as much as is possible and keep posting on here if you need a vent ! xxx

Indeed, life seems to work that way,

I hope you are having a lovely sleep and not being disturbed subconsciously. I am glad that you have some fine young people around you and no, they are not all the same, I have known some great youngsters. I do hope your problems ease a little and as others, I will pray for you. God bless you. Xxx

Oh ga what a load to contend with. So glad to hear that your nieces and nephews are rallying round you.