Is this it?

Minnie I suspect we all reach a point sometime in our 50 + years when we cannot help but be aware that there is no turning back the clock. A couple of years ago I went through a phase of feeling very unhappy with my personal appearance and I think , for me, it had to do with facing up to the ageing process and mourning a time when I know I was more attractive. But I now remind myself, pretty frequently, that I should value how I am here and now as the reality is that in ten years time I will think I looked relatively good now!!!!! In all seriousness, I did have to come to terms with 'something' - not quite sure what, but I was unsettled for a time. It doesn't help us when we are surrounded by a lot of loveliness .

Is this a wind up, feeing 'old' at 56! In my 56th year we spent a year on the French canals, not easy on an 80 ft boat. After that bought two properties in 2 different countries to renovate. Moved back to uk, renovated another property, bought a Motohome and travelled all over Europe.

But as it is we're just grans chatting. Saying what we think, and giving advice when we see it is needed.

If we were professional counsellors we would charge money for it.

Can't see anyone "quick to judge" here.

Oh dear I hope I wasn't one of the ones quick to judge. I was just trying to gee you up into not lying down and accepting second best for the next 20 years.

The graveyards are full of people who would change places.Not to mention hospices.Sorry to be so heavy,but life is short,make the most of it.Everybodies got something to offer.Beauties skin deep.

Thanks thatbags, obieone and Teetime, you made me smile with your commonsense and kindness.
I suppose we only get a snapshot of other people's lives on here and there are other challenges in my life apart from this moan I am having today.
I guess I was testing the water to see how you all responded and to see if being on gransnet is worth it. I think it is, even though I feel some are very quick to judge from a few lines without asking a few more thoughtful questions!

Hello minnie58 yes I know 60 is the new 40 and all that and yes we can wear what we like and be what we like but I do acknowledge what you are feeling and sometimes feel like that myself. I have never had any looks and have always been fat but it didn't seem quite so disastrous when I was younger. I look in the mirror now and think 'hag'. Then I get a grip, put on my face, change my clothes - its important to me to dress fairly well as budget allows. Its important to keep on keeping on- use it or lose it gal. I love that song from Hello Dolly - Put on your Sunday clothes (when you feel down and out) etc etc.

I think 56 is a strange age. A transition age.

I think it does depend a bit what age group you are regularly with. Personally I generally mix with people quite a bit older than myself on the whole which is probably why I consider myself younger than I am, now I come to think of it!

You are one of the young uns on gransnet so that is a good start!

You call helping out with a dozen kids "lame"? Yikes! What on earth would you count as not lame?

If you are putting on a lot of make-up to hide your age - be careful! It could be making you look 76 instead of 56. Maybe this would be a good time to visit a beautician who could teach you some new ways to wear less and look more? (make-up, I mean, not clothes!)

I was working my socks off and looking after my mother when I was 56. I also used to think, Is this it? but only because I was so darned tired.

Doesn't sound like you have much to complain about, Minnie

Oh to be 56.

I hate the pain and creakiness of getting older - so many irritants: pain in back and joints, problems driving at night, can't lift the GC etc etc.

This is indeed "it" and you have to make the best of it and do what you can when you can. 56! - you're a wee babe! Scrap all that slap and start looking outwards and not inwards. We have to take what we get - at least you are fit. We looked forward to our retirement, which is now curtailed by my OH's PD. So carpe diem!

Wow! Thanks for the responses, very wise and very honest. I think cornergran hit the spot with my life changing and I don't seem to have a forward plan beyond helping out with all my darling GC. That sounds lame even as I write it!
This is making me think that as much as I love my family I need to find some things for me with people my own age.

I don't see any point in looking back unless it is to happy memories. Look forward and think of all the benefits you have. I think the AA prayer goes something like this: Lord give me the strength to change the things I can change, the courage to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference. I heard this many years ago and think it is great.

Just don't surround yourself with people your own age, have friends of all ages. Keep your horizons wide.

Welcome Minnie!
I'm 62, and have been told this week that my job ends at the end of March, so.......
I'm going to retire and try to live on a very small private pension (that should effectively focus my mind!)

I have to say it's refreshingly challenging and a huge relief not to have to find another job (that might change but for the foreseeable future I'm going to be able to do what I want to do as opposed to working full time)

I really wouldn't think 56 was any age at all!

Bring it on ? ☀️ ? ? ☕️

Forgot to say,welcome to the forum Minnie and keep posting.?

It's good to make the best of yourself and of life, whatever age you are.I didn't feel creaky at your age though, so health probs may come into it.

56!!!!

You can't possibly be serious! I'm 74 and I can scrub up as well as the rest of 'em. I'm sorry but I've to to say it. Pull yourself of together! Think of something outside of you.

I would have great sympathy if you couldn't leave your bedroom in the mornings without your joints creaking, but not because of vanity.

I'm with ann and nina!

should I accept that at 56, that's how it's going to be from now on NO !
Your still young.

I wonder if you are just experiencing a natural life stage transition? Changes to the way we look and how we do things are inevitable for most of us. Maybe review your options, taking health and finances into account, and have a bit of a forward plan. Take time for yourself, be interested in a wide range of things, and yes, be as active as your health allows. It's about adaptation sometimes, we can't go back so better to enjoy today as it is and look forward to positive plans - as a much older neighbour says - do it while you can!

Well it shouldn't be. What are you thinking? You have many good years ahead. Get out and about with people of your own age and get some new interests not associated with family. I speak as a 78 year old who would love the opportunity to get out and about but life has decided otherwise. Enjoy yourself for goodness sake