Hi My husband suffers from a chronic, degenerative lung disease and also dementia. We have been ticking along fairly well, although I have been desperate for some respite care for him as I am his sole carer and have not had a break for a couple of years. I have been waiting for weeks to hear from Social Services for an assessment of his needs.
We are now in a nightmare situation. Ten days ago he was blue lighted to hospital with pneumonia, where he has been ever since. He is now physically much better, but as is fairly normal, the infection has exacerbates his dementia symptoms. The first night after he had been admitted from a&e, I attempted to go home to sleep at about 1am, but was recalled to the hospital at about 2:30am as he was so agitated, had pulled out his cannula through which he was receiving fluids and antibiotics, and had removed his oxygen mask. He had had to be restrained by security staff. So I spent that night and the next trying to sleep in a chair next to his bed. Thereafter I went home at night to eat and sleep, but spent most of the day from breakfast to around 9-10pm with him, going home for a couple of hours in the afternoon to feed the cat and sort out things at home. Each time I have gone home, I have returned to find him in a state of high anxiety and fairly delusional.
I was expecting to bring him home at the beginning of next week, although I have been told that a Social Worker would be more likely to come to do an assessment if he is still in hospital.
Tonight, I returned home, and had just got into bed when the hospital called, saying he was extremely agitated, and had again had to be restrained. I asked to speak to him, and he was hysterically demanding that I call the police as "five men had been stealing from him and attacking" him. I asked him if he wanted me to come up, so here I am sitting in a chair by his bed for the night again. It has taken a long time to calm him down from his paranoia that the staff are trying to hurt or kill him, and that I am siding with them, but he is not making much sense. He is quiet now but not asleep, and I am exhausted. He wants me to take him home, and he is actually physically well enough now to go home, but to tell the truth, he is scaring me, and I do not feel able to cope with him on my own as he is now. There have previously been a few incidents at home when he has been threatening, pushed me or thrown food or water over me. I don't know where to go from here.
I love him, and want to be able to care for him.
It is dark, and the night seems to be stretching out before me.
and it's good you have a plan to put into action. A cuppa 
and a foot stall is a little comfort for you on this long night. 
