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How to cook a turkey

(13 Posts)
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vampirequeen Sun 15-Nov-15 19:19:13

1 Buy a turkey.

2 Have a glass of wine.

3 Stuff turkey.

4 Have a glass of wine.

5 Put turkey in oven.

6 Relax and have another few glasses of wine.

7 Turk the bastey.

8 Wine of glass another get.

9 Ponder the meat thermometer.

10 Glass yourself another pour of wine.

11 Bake the wine for 4 hours.

12 Take the oven out of the turkey.

13 Floor the turkey up off pick.

14 Turk the carvey.

15 Get yourself another wottle of bine.

16 Tet the sable, and pour yourself another glass of turkey.

17 Say grace and pass out.

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loopylou Sun 15-Nov-15 19:29:55

grin
You've got it in one vampirequeen !

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Crafting Sun 15-Nov-15 20:03:02

Wunnerful. Hic. Didn't realise cooking could be so much fun. Cheers wine grin

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Teetime Sun 15-Nov-15 20:25:11

That's the way I do it. whose hungry after all those chocs and glasses of fizz anyway.

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merlotgran Sun 15-Nov-15 20:50:50

www.youtube.com/watch?v=05IJBKal7QA

And if you can see straight enough to watch a bit of telly........

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annsixty Sun 15-Nov-15 21:15:59

Just love it and I intend to follow it to the letter.

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kittylester Mon 16-Nov-15 11:10:58

One year I almost did that. I gave everyone permission to go to the pub out of my way but was left with a newly opened but barely touched bottle of champagne to keep me going. Apparently, the food was the best I have ever done - unfortunately, I can't remember! blush

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ninathenana Mon 16-Nov-15 12:35:29

Saw this on FB made me lol. I forwarded it to DD

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Judthepud2 Mon 16-Nov-15 12:38:22

grin oh thanks for that VQ. I have laughed so much that the tears are running down my cheeks! My Christmas dinner cooking rather like that though not quit so extreme!

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ninathenana Mon 16-Nov-15 12:38:34

grin kitty

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Greyduster Mon 16-Nov-15 17:43:13

I loved that! It reminds me of a friend who, in a state of advanced inebriation, stuffed her turkey on Christmas Eve. Her husband went to put it on to cook on Christmas morning and found she had stuffed the body cavity with half their cutlery drawer! Full of teaspoons, forks and heaven knows what else! She didn't remember doing it!

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Anne58 Mon 16-Nov-15 18:09:53

www.gransnet.com/forums/chat/a1203134-That-Christmas-Eve-Tradition-of

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rosesarered Mon 16-Nov-15 18:30:54

That's why I never have a drink until the meal is almost ready!

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