wedding gifts

When my daughter married with over 130 in attendance she felt overwhelmed by all the 'thank you' cards that needed to be sent, but she persevered and managed them within a six-week time frame. Same with little baby's arrival - she was inundated with very kind gifts. I did say to her to cut herself some slack and aim to get things sent within six weeks, which I think is a reasonable time frame after a major event and especially when, in the first instance, she had to return to full-time work and in the second she was demand feeding.

In a world of instant communication, I think some people start off with great intentions, but perhaps give up on the idea of sending a 'formal' thank you - which these major life events seem to demand - once two-three weeks have passed. I think better late than never.

However, deep down, if I give a gift, I am just pleased to give it, I don't need thanking. Money is a little different because we want assurance that it has not gone astray.

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Thank you for all the replies. I remained irked by this until today, when the much awaited thank you card arrived. It is personally designed, sincere and beautifully worded. It is still a long time since the wedding last August, but there we have it. End of.

DIL is most punctilious in sending thank yous for any presents for the DGD, even if we have already seen them and they have said thank you in person.

I have usually had a thank you for a wedding gift or baby gift, but often months after the event. I sent a cheque for friends' children a couple of years ago as a thank you, and was a bit upset that the cheque wasn't cashed after a couple or three months. After a discreet enquiry, the cheque was cashed, but I never received a thank you.

Thanks for all your replies. I feel there's nothing I can do. I guess I will always give wedding gifts to friends and relatives, thanks or no thanks. I really don't want any unpleasantness, so will say nothing to them. Soft or what.....

With nieces and nephews. I give by bank transfer to the mother my amount. , its up to her to distribute or use as she thinks fits the kids

I stop at 21 yrs.

I no longer send presents to my great nephew or his parents because they never say thank you.
Their wedding present wasn't acknowledged either.

It is only polite to acknowledge any present. It drives me mad if people don't bother to notice you have given them a present.

Email, phone, text , at least you are being given some credit .

My great niece NEVER says thanks for presents for her children. I get upset by it and only carry on because I don't want to hurt my sister-in-law.

You could ask ' did you get my present Orr was it lost in the post?' I suppose.

A text or email would be better than nothing, Teatime. As we gave cash, in a card which was placed with all the others into a receptacle at the reception, I have no way of knowing if it was received or stolen, though I do doubt the latter. As several have said, the parents, in the case of the recent wedding, my brother, would be embarrassed

I can't remember the last time I received a thank you letter for a wedding gift and have been disappointed every time. My Mum and I have discussed this before and don't understand it. When did it become acceptable not to send a thank you letter? I have seen the pads of standard thank you letters in shops like WH Smith, so somebody must be buying them. In the last few years we've had family weddings in Scotland (attended), Ireland and the USA - all different parts of our family. Not one letter, even though the gifts were customised for the bride and groom (cake forks for them to use after the cake was cut). At the Scottish wedding, the bride and groom thanked us profusely, saying what a lovely gift it was - still no thank you letter though. Parents at the other two weddings told me on the phone how well received the gifts had been.

We've also commented that we think the parents would be shocked about this. It's probably the only time these days I do expect a letter and remain Disappointed of Warwickshire.

I rarely get a thank you for any gifts given and then only a text - I suppose its the modern way. They have a pork pie wedding cake here -well it is Melton Mowbray.

We did the same for a friends daughter and nearly 2 years later we have had no thank you. I know her parents would be upset if they knew. Their other daughter gets married at the end of this month so it will be interesting to see if her manners are any better.

I was disappointed not to receive a thankyou communication from my close friends daughter after we attended her wedding which involved an over night stay at the venue and gift of cash. She is a lovely girl and my friend is quiet particular about that sort of thing.
My friend asked me if I'd had a thankyou and when I said no, she said she would speak to her DD about it.
I'm still waiting and it's their 1st anniversary in 2 wks !

Of course gifts should be acknowledged , extremely bad mannered not to do so. After my daughter's wedding this year every one received a hand written note from the happy couple. Have to say, many were surprised but all were delighted.

At a wedding we attended a few years ago, the "cake" was 6 whole round cheeses, each different, stacked up like a pyramid. On the top were little models of a loving couple (rather TOO loving!) Unusual to say the least. But then again, the couple did thank us for our gift!

I would expect a thank you of some sort, be it letter, card or telephone call. I may be considered old fashioned but it is only polite to thank people for gifts received. Do wedding guests still receive a piece of the cake in a little box through the post? Probably not, considering that the last wedding I attended didn't have a cake as such, but a sort of mountain of cup cakes.

Our nephew, who we get on very well with and see quite frequently, even spoke to us on the phone recently in a hi-tech 3-way conversation set up by our son. Not a word. Perhaps he too was overwhelmed by the technology

Even if it is old-fashioned, I see no reason at all why your gifts should not have been acknowledged in some way.