Would it be Ok?

Or pat your tummy and say ' yes, the baby is due in two months!' then whisper ' do you think anyone else has noticed?' then fall about laughing at her shocked face.

Teetime I like your plan. Perfect.

If you do find it - kick it further in!!!

You are a naughty lot - my dish of revenge which I will eat cold will be to be unable to 'find' her ball when it goes in the rough next time we play golf. I am starting a new diet today though.

Ask her which charm school she goes to and tell her to ask for her money back!

Don't get mad, get even....Plot your revenge!

sending the grans round? could be worse, it could be a mumsnet flash mob with their creative use of swear words...

if she says anything similar to you again just say very loudly "who gave you permission to make such very personal remarks to me" then push her over mid Zumba and watch whilst she waves her thin stick like arms and legs in the air.

next time you see her ask her if she is feeling OK as she is looking a little haggard!

I've always been larger than average. My favourite put down to such remarks when younger was "Well at least I could loose weight, your stuck with that ugly face"

Gosh us Grans are being sent round to sort out a lot of people these days! Fine by me. If only......

I'm with Anya on this. Life's too short.

If she says anything else 'untoward', you could just reply: "Dear me! What a personal remark!"

If she doesn't then apologise, she needs to be put in your unsatisfactory acquaintances file.

Shall we send the grans round? Silly cow!!

Using Galen's arty theme, you could ask her if she modelled for Lowry

You could mention her big feet or her big mouth.

I'm sure you are nothing of the kind!!!

Well.....thinking about......you could be, sort of, 'rotund' even being a size 14. Could depend on your height?

She could have chosen 'roly-poly' though!

!!!!

I'm a size20. I prefer the term 'junoesque'

Oh - call her what you will! I can think of more colourful retorts, and all would be justified!

Well Teetime, if you're rotund, then so am I. I am a size 14, but my winter coat is a 16 eek! I'd go so far as to call that person a skinny Lizzie. I think you would be justified.

Accidentally barge into her during the next Zumba class - giving her the full force of your 'rotundness'.

Failing that ..... a straightforward poke in the eye in the changing room

Oh dear goodness knows what she would call me then!

We all must think of something really good for tee to say - that is if she has the nerve!!

Next time you meet?

I'd ditch her forthwith

Cheeky cow. Rotund indeed.

How about "well yes I may be (as you call it) rotund, but at least I am not a nasty rude old vinegar faced sourpuss".

The thing is its too late now though, I always wished I HAD said something when its too late.