Wanting it all

I see your problem and one which I share. We think we have sorted this by living right in the middle of the country with good road and rail links. Only problem is I'm too knackered to travel about much.

We too are living in the "wrong" place nowadays.
But the kids keep moving still so no point thinking about moving yet.
And if we move, we will be nowhere near other people.

I feel the same way. I know I should be grateful for the wonderful friends I have here, but I do wish I were nearer to family members.

I know some of you have moved to be nearer family, in some cases to the other side of the world (*absent*), clearly I wouldn't expect you to regret your decision, but how hard was it to balance leaving friends and neighbours behind? And do you think there is a risk of living your life through the DC and DGC you have moved to be with?
What would you do if they got a job move?

Although we have moved around a fair bit, we were fairly settled when the children started school as we had moved back to our own area to look after DH's parents. Luckily he could more or less choose where he wanted to work.

The children have moved around too but most of them have settled back within striking distance of us (furthest is 1hr 30mins drive away) and she comes back to see her siblings fairly often. My brothers are still around here but DH's are in Yorkshire, Thailand and S Africa. We don't have to travel to see them though, they come here.

Having lived back in our home area for nearly 40 years we have really old friends and slightly newer old friends. Our village is very friendly too.

So, on balance, I think we will stay here!

Moved back ten years ago to be near all the family, within 20 mins and an easy country drive.Lovely to see them all regularly now, and as we get older will appreciate being near, we all help each other.

Seems like a few of us are in the same boat. We currently live fairly near DS and family but see them rarely now the DGC are at secondary school. DD and family are 2.5 hours away going south and we'd like to move south but then we would not be near the other lot. However, no-one seems to want to buy our house so we are stuck. I'm just grateful that we are all in the same country, really.

Good point NotTooOld, oh for the "good old days" when families lived within the same community.

Alea I moved in two phases. Having lived in west London all my life, I then moved to Darlington where my husband was born and much of his family still live, including his mother at the time. (She died while we were still in the UK.) I am probably the only person in the world that viewed moving a few hundred miles north as the first step in moving several thousand miles south. I wasn't sorry to leave London; sixty years living in one area is long enough and both London and I had changed a lot during that time - probably neither of us for the better.

By the time I left the UK (three years later) I had got used to not being within such easy reach of my family and long-term friends, although many of them visited us when we were in Darlington. I do still miss them and have hopes that some will come to to New Zealand for a long holiday in the future.

I do spend quite a lot of time with my grandchildren, time that I mostly enjoy a great deal. I don't see enough of absentdaughter without hoards of children rampaging around us and we have plans to spend more time together alone, as it were, in the future once this batch of school holidays is over. However, I also have aspects to my life that are separate from my family and involve new friends.

I would say that moving to be near adult children and grandchildren can be life enhancing, depending on your approach to life and willingness to embrace new experiences and massive changes. In my case, I have no other children or grandchildren to consider but it might have been a much more difficult decision if absentdaughter had siblings.

Btw something I do miss: those rather riotous and massively enjoyable Gransnet meet-ups with the North-east and Scottish grannies.

I've always know how lucky I am in location. I can walk to the beach. Same with the station where I can get a train to London every 15 mins, takes 50 mins.
Daughter with GC lives 20 mins away and most of that journey is along the sea front. Other Daughter lives in London.
If we wanted we can get a bus to the airport where there are flights every day to Spain (if you want)
And no, I wouldn't move if the GC did.