Call me madam, perhaps.

Well it's usually in a darkened room, jessie. !

inish. Yes, dear is so b****y patronising isn't it. It's a good one to use if you want to be a bit sarky though

I like 'madam' but like anything friendly, but really object to be being addressed by my first name by people who don't know me.

I was called 'dear' by a young lad about to wash my hair at the hairdressers' a short time ago. I don't think he'll do it again - I let him know in no uncertain terms that I was not his 'dear' anything!!

From various articles and comments in the media anyone over 60 is 'invisible' so I guess we're lucky to be noticed at all.

I like "madam" and don't mind "luv" or "hinny". I don't like people who assume they are entitled to use my given name (used to be Christian name-but I know things change!) without asking. I am inclined to fix such people with a hard stare and say very frostily, "That's Mrs - to you."

Wow, you're brave trisher. Hope that's not your given name .
Tbh I always give my first name when making appointments or ringing someone for an estimate. Happy for them to then call me by my name when we meet. Perhaps it makes me feel younger, or I can't be bothered spelling out DH's Italian surname.

I don't care really as long as the person is being nice. Madam would make me giggle inside and love, dear, etc. would make me cringe, but it's fleeting. Are you alright? is common usage here and I use it myself a lot. I rarely call myself Mrs W... and just use my first name most of the time. It's more about being kind than polite for me.

My old mum always said 'You can call me what you like as long as you don't call me too late for my dinner."
Volunteering on the 'Storybook Dads' * scheme at my local prison I find the prisoners call me 'Miss' just like when I was a primary school teacher. Its not remotely servile, just what prisoners apparently call female staff but I do have to remember that they aren't 8!

* Storybook Dads is a scheme run by volunteers in many prisons.
Prisoners who have children can apply and subject to checks re contact with their children will come to the Chaplaincy to choose a book for their child/ren.
We will chat to them about the book, dispel any nerves and help with any literacy issues.
They will then go into another room, be filmed reading the story, then invited to write a message in the book.
We then 'burn' a DVD, label it and send it to the child along with the book.
Its a great way for children and their dads to maintain a relationship and motivates many prisoners in their rehabilitation.

All of the above! I like to think that the customer deserves a little respect . Shop staff are called assistants, and that is what they are paid to do...assist. I am unfailingly polite to staff in shops, cafés, bars etc.....but I do NOT want to be treated like their new best friend. "may I help you?" Or "can I be of assistance?" helps to make a shopping expedition a little more special..particularly when the word Madam is added!
I do NOT want to hear "you all right there?" Or "You ok?" from a bored individual who has forgotten how to make eye contact due to overuse of a phone screen.
The terms 'love, darling, sweetie, dear etc ' - including colloquialisms such as 'duck, chuck,m'dooks' etc are sweet, but still too familiar.
Mr Selfridge...whereart thou? ;)

Bella me too. Just booked to have some tree work done and signed myself by my Christian name (yes, I mean Christian).

I am happy for anyone to use it maybe because I remember being taught that to call oneself Mr was conferring a title upon yourself and should never be done. Apparently it is acceptable to say Mrs as that differentiates from Miss! As a result I think it feels a bit Mrs Bucket to insist on Mrs.

I like being called "Madam" but only if the greeting is sincere, and not a sneer. I don't mind "darling" or "love" too much, but it depends so much on the person talking to you.

What I really hate are the following terms of so-called endearment: "Have a nice day" "See you later" "Alright mate?" The first is American. The second means nothing, as I won't (I hope) see this person later and the third is incomprehensible. I am not his or her "mate". I am a customer for heaven's sake. Not a "new best friend".

What gets my goat is being called 'guy' as in 'What can I get you guys?'

I am not a guy, and I always point that out - politely - to the waiter/waitress/cashier concerned. Then I answer them.

A small victory, but mine own!

I'd never heard of Storybook Dads, Dee - what an amazing initiative.

I can't stand that have a nice day malarkey. I know it's in their training and they have to do it but I somehow feel obliged to say " you too", when sitting at a checkout can't really be having a nice day. See you later is ridiculous and I'm sure that's not in their training programme. Young people say this and it always feels odd to have a young man saying this to me. Enjoy the rest of your day is probably something they say in the afternoon, but really, why can't they just drop it and say thank you, goodbye! Spose im being a bit curmudgeonly but I don't like these rather insincere imports and we always got on well without them. Someone mentioned not wanting to be treated like someone's best mate, but I have to say I do sometimes instigate conversations by saying I love their nail polish, is it gel? And we end up having a conversation and invariably a laugh. I think it makes us both feel good.

In the same shop, at the same time, DH was called "sir" and I was called "dear".

Now,it seems to me that if you are calling a man "sir", then you call the lady with him "madam"

If you are calling the lady "dear" then surely her husband is "mate" ?

In Kenya, in the '60s, we, women, were all addressed as 'Memsahib' in shops - presumably an import when Indian workers were brought over to build the railway, However, the men were called 'Bwana' which is the Bantu salutation. At 25, I really didn't feel like a memsahib, but got used to it.

Bella I do the nails thing too! I like passing the time of day during a transaction if time allows and it can break up the day for the assistant, even make them smile.

Shop assistants are paid a pittance and treated indifferently or rudely by so many people. Sorry, but several posters do come over as curmudgeonly and at the end of the a
day, don't we all want a pleasant atmosphere? I can tell you that in the USA where some of the customs originate that some on here are moaning about, shopping is a pleasure and plenty of staff enjoy their jobs because they pride themselves on trying to make shopping a good experience. If we're not so good at being convincing, then maybe that's down to snooty customers.

Why not just try treating assistants less as servants and more like someone who can assist you?

Being called 'mate' just makes me laugh. I don't really mind what I am called as long as it's not rude...

Why should someone who doesn't know me have to show respect? I feel that has to be earnt. Politeness is enough. Where I live, I am frequently called 'My lovely', which I think is rather nice.

It's always young guys who say 'mate' and it makes me laugh because you know they're just trying to do a good job with no proper training!

'My lovely' is so nice - hope someone calls me that one day!

I have no issue at all, just as long as it spoken kindly .

I certainly wouldn't go out of my way to make somebody feel uncomfortable if they use commonly used terms such as love, pet nor my first name. Each to his/her own .

I would probably walk away from someone who challenged how I spoke, that's when you get 'all sorts ' in your dinner or drink. .

I would rather not be called 'madam'. It is old-fashioned and has connotations of being in charge of a brothel.

I don't like dear or love "you guys" sets my teeth on edge. I asked the last teenage waiter who said that if I looked like a guy. He didn't know what to say
I like 'Madam' in restaurants but it seems a bit OTT in the corner shop !

I tend to get Ma'am from younger people and Dear or Love from older people. The latter seems to include bus drivers - male and female. It was a bit disconcerting when I went into Lush recently and an assistant I didn't recognise greeted me by name. It turned out we had met on a demo.

I really don't mind as long as they are polite and as long as they don't call me Sir!

I don't mind being called Madam or love but I really like being called "Ma'am" by all American shop assistants and waiters. I was asked on the phone by an energy company if they could call me Lesley and I said no call me Mrs ***. A few companies presume to do that, or even just call me by by first name without asking and I detest it.

Do not mind what I am called- just note that I am there! On previous forum I commented on being invisible- what is the answer, short of lying on the floor,kicking legs and screaming!