Feeling sad and guilty

How sad cornergran. You've written a lovely eulogy here you know. You've told possibly 100s of people how important she was to you and how much you appreciated her. I think your comments will make us all think about our own friends and commitments and what we should perhaps prioritise. Have a cup of tea and a nice think about her!

Don't feel guilty, Cornergran, I'm sure your letters and cards were important to her and kept your friendship going. Will you be able to go to her funeral?

Jane has put it well. Just reading your post brought this lady to our notice, telling us what a lovely woman she was, a good friend, undemanding, kind and such a warm person

Thank you for your lovely comment. No, "ruby" I'll not be able to go to her funeral as I will be on holiday and out of the country. Another sadness but I can hear her tell me to go and not be so daft, go and enjoy myself. I hadn't realised I had written a eulogy, but of course I had, I didn't think about what I was writing, just wrote it. I've lost touch with our other colleagues from back then and so no friends to chat to about her. It was good to do it here. Thank you again.

Thought I'd managed a 'bold' - obviously not!

That's one of the great things of GN you can share memories with hundreds of friends - it doesn't matter that we didn't know your friend, we all have a sense of her now.

Cornergran What an awful shock for you.
I'm sure your friend appreciated and valued your friendship as much as you did hers. Friends who don't judge us and just accept us for who we are, are a gold thread in our lives. Will you write to her family? It would be a comfort to them, if you just said what you have written here.

She sounds a lovely lady.

I am pretty sure that when my mum goes[hopefully not for many years] that I will look around for another mother figure.
A contender in those stakes[though she didnt know it!] moved away about 5 years ago, so I will have to see when the time comes, who is available for the role!

I hope you can find, or have in your life, other people who you can lean on in difficult times.

Thank you for your thoughtful posts. Yes, jane I do plan to write and will post tomorrow. Easier now I've practiced a bit here. The strange thing, soon is I didn't realise the role I had given her in my life until I moved away. She was indeed a lovely lady and I was lucky to know her. Her death is settling with me now. It really helped having a space to write and share her a bit.

Cornergran bold is ith an * either side of the name, no spaces.

Sorry, ... with an * ...

I don't think you should feel guilty as she sounds like a very private person who did not want too much personal contact. But who also valued your friendship at a level that sat comfortably with her personality. Just be glad that she was there in your life, and that you had good times with her.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, cornergran. How good it was that you were able to carry on a really good (and supportive) friendship without needing to be in contact all the time. Each knew the other was there, and a newsy letter sufficed for both.
Think of her eagerly opening your letters and enjoying what she read in them. She could read them over and over, always imagining you and what you'd been doing. Good friends, indeed.

ruby I think I've got it. Thank you. luckygirl yes I am glad to have known the individual that she was.

A true friend is someone that, even if you don't see them for weeks, months even years, the next meeting will be as if you've only just parted. I'm sure that's the sort of friendship you both had and that she didn't think about not seeing you but had a constant awareness of your 'being there'. You were very lucky to know her and she was lucky to count you among her friends I think.

Sometimes our friends want us to remember them as they were. She may well not have told you about her illness so you would do this. I am sure she knew you would rush to her if she asked. You have written a lovely piece on here and you could if you felt it would help write a letter to her telling her all the things you want to. Your friendship was obviously very special and the memory of it will always be with you.

Such a lovely eulogy to your friend, Cornergran It sounds like you had a true friendship with her and it must hurt to think you will never see her again. I had a similar experience and was so sad for a long time but am now able to think of my friend with happiness that I had known her.

for you.

Condolences Cornergran. Good post jud!

cornergran how lovely to have known such a lovely lady - my condolences.

cornergran Send a letter to her relatives expressing to them what you have done to us. Even if you can't get to the funeral, I am sure her relatives would like that.

Not wishing to keep this running. Wanted to thank you for your support. I've now spoken with family members and just finished writing. I feel much more settled and am being much kinder towards myself Thank you a again.

You're truly blessed to have known such a treasure of a friend cornergran, maybe you're thought of just as fondly by many too?