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Friends and relatives

(21 Posts)
Coolgran65 Mon 07-Sept-15 15:09:19

One brother (widower) who is about 15 miles distant. We are in touch or have lunch maybe every two weeks.

One son who is 6000 miles distant.
One dss who is across the Irish Sea.
One dss two streets away.
One dss lives next door
(Guess who we have least contact with).

However, if allowed to be, DH is a square eyed
Sky Sports fanatic.
Sky movie fanatic
Drama ....
Current affairs.....
You get the picture.

Sometimes I just say, get your coat...we're going out.
Where? He asks.
Don't know.....but we are not vegetating in front of that screen !!!

Having said that he has this summer decorated the lounge, dining, kitchen, bathroom, and one bedroom.
He really is my friend.
My girlfriends I talk with on phone, text, And meet up with every couple of weeks.
Look after 2 Dgc one day each week...
Family Sunday roast weekly.
One friend is worried if she hasn't something planned, on the go...
I am often content with my own company and can occasionally go for several days with seeing no one but DH. (DH will have been out).
Then I think....hmmm.... about time I got out and about.

Indinana Sun 06-Sept-15 22:18:45

My children live very close, within a couple of miles. My siblings all live about 300 miles away and I see them rarely, although I'm in touch by phone.
One of my oldest friends moved to Spain 14 years ago. We keep in touch on 'messenger' and Facebook. And in fact, we actually spent the afternoon together yesterday, with our respective husbands, because they were over here on a whistle stop visit to see their Grandson's passing out ceremony with the Police Force. That was the first time I'd seen her since I visited her in Spain in 2002. But like true friends, we can always just pick up where we left off.

ffinnochio Sun 06-Sept-15 21:35:19

One of my siblings lives a 6hr journey away, and all the rest live in other countries. None of us are great communicators with each other, yet my bond with my sister is strong. My sons and grandchildren live in other countries and we stay in touch frequently and I visit when I can.

I'd adore a close extended family around, but have never really had it. I'm not often lonely because I've made some good and, I hope, lasting friends, but do feel alone (different from lonely), and somewhat adrift at times. There are days when it's all a bit of an uphill climb, but on the whole, I've learnt to be fairly self-contained, and feel very thankful for my happy marriage.

numberplease Sun 06-Sept-15 21:17:30

All our children live within a 5 mile radius of us. Hubby`s family are all, bar one, ove in Lancashire, or, as it`s officially known, Greater Manchester, he has a brother living about 20 miles from us. All my family are in S.Yorkshire, apart from one cousin in Lancashire. Our grandchildren are all living locally, except for oldest grandson, who lives in Wales.

Lona Sun 06-Sept-15 20:50:22

I'm about 50 minutes drive away from dd and dgds 1&2, and roughly 4 minutes drive away from ds, dsgs and dgd3.
We talk on the phone quite a lot and we are very close after all the family problems of the last couple of years.
Lots of friends around too, so I'm very lucky.

annsixty Sun 06-Sept-15 20:25:00

Thank you loopy it is lonely but one gets used to it as one ages. Part of life's rich pattern I tell myself.

loopylou Sun 06-Sept-15 20:18:24

Parents and 15 miles away, DD and DS /DDIL/DGS both 120 miles away (that's when DD isn't in Khazakhstan or somewhere in Africa or the back of beyond)

Oh dear annsixty, I wish I could help somehow. Loneliness when you aren't actually alone is almost worse, isn't it? flowers x

annsixty Sun 06-Sept-15 20:03:01

Once again, as at the bank holiday I am posting a lot this evening. My DH is already asleep in his chair,and will wake up about 9 and go to bed. Life can be very lonely and seeming isolated when one is older and health problems crop up. But what is the answer? I don't think there is one.

Marmark1 Sun 06-Sept-15 19:24:27

My son lives an hour away, I see him and children at least once a week.My sisters live up the road,I see them nearly every day.One niece and family live five minutes away,see them every week.Freinds,especially my two best ones I see one,once a week and one twice.Mostly we only meet in Sainsbury for coffee.

Greyduster Sun 06-Sept-15 17:03:24

'im indoors!!

Greyduster Sun 06-Sept-15 17:01:19

We live about half an hour's drive from DD and about 2 hours drive from DS. All DH's relatives live in Wales. We live in Yorkshire. To see most of our oldest friends is a day out as they all live in different counties! My closest friend lives fifteen minutes away but she has such a busy life that it is calendars at dawn when we are trying to make arrangements to get together and I usually have to wait three or four weeks for a slot! You think you are Billy no mates - it is basically just me and 'I'm in doors most of the time. But we're ok with it.

annodomini Sun 06-Sept-15 14:16:40

Friends and family are all a long way off - several train journeys and, in the case of one sister, 24 hours to New Zealand. We all keep in regular contact by phone and I go south to see DSs and their families as often as possible. I have a very good friend locally but she and her husband seem to have more holidays than most! When we moved north, my DSs were past the stage of needing mum to meet them at the school gate and I was working full time, so it was difficult to meet other parents as I used to in East Anglia where I had a huge number of friends.

POGS Sun 06-Sept-15 13:24:41

I live in the midlands, my sister lives in Exeter and sister in law Wales. MIL 5 minutes away as is my daughter and granddaughter.

We live in a village and you are alone , only if you choose to be here. It is very friendly and we thank goodness for that being the case. Everybody knows everybody else's business usually and that is problematic for some but not others. Some are community minded others not so but we all rub along just fine usually.

My extended family are mostly living in Somerset where I was born. I do miss being so far away from them, my grandparents had 13 children so it is pretty extensive, we are where we are through circumstances and that's life I suppose.

Luckygirl Sun 06-Sept-15 10:46:31

Two of my DDs and their children live within 8 miles of here, so we see them at least weekly. Brother about 200 miles away (don't see very often but always in touch on the phone about fortnightly) and sister 100 (we talk regularly on the phone and she visits here a couple of times a year as her MIL lives near us).

I have lots of local friends whom I regularly make music with and I run a choir, all of whose members have become friends. But we do not live in each others pockets and do not do a lot of going round for tea. We see each other down the lane and at local events and are always there to help each other.

Mu oldest and dearest friend (a vicar would you believe!) lives about 70 miles away - we only see each other about twice a year, but slot back in as if it was yesterday.

cornergran Sun 06-Sept-15 09:53:22

I'm in a very similar situation to Annsixty. Good, longstanding friends are miles away. Distance has become more of a barrier with time, finance and health changes. Phone just not the same. Would love a geographically close good friend just for a natter and a laugh. Know I don't help myself with reticence. It does feel more difficult now. Lots I love doing in and out of the home. Not miserable but a bit lonely at times. It does help to know it's not just me!

merlotgran Sun 06-Sept-15 09:26:43

I feel like Billy No Mates sometimes. I seem to spend so much time running round after DH, DD and the DGSs, not to mention the animals that I have very little contact with friends these days.

Yesterday we went to a local farmer's market which is normally a good place to catch up with all the gossip and usually finishes up with a group of us having lunch in the pub but there was nobody there that we knew. We came home after an hour but it was DH who was grumpy all afternoon because he didn't see anyone. He goes out twice a week to see friends so I was really miffed that he was like a bear with a sore head.

Thank goodness for the family members who don't live nearby but keep in touch with me.

annsixty Sun 06-Sept-15 09:01:43

I really am isolated. An only child and only a few cousins from my father's family , just one of whom I get a c.......s card from. DH has one living SiL who is 85 and not with it and is 2 hours away. She can't even talk on the phone now. My best friend is a 3 hour train journey away although we speak weekly and my local friends are not particularly the best friend type and are very involved with their families. My DD is 300 miles away and my S although 15 mins away is very "distant" and will get in touch perhaps once every 10 days!! He doesn't always reply to texts. Since DH does not like going out now I am very used to my own 4 walls. Not really unhappy though just used to it now, my kindle is my best friend.

Marmight Sun 06-Sept-15 08:55:58

My nearest relative lives 400 miles away (DD). I have a number of local 'friends' but probably only 2 or 3 really good friends, the best of whom is away a lot. My oldest friend - we have known each other since we were 2 - lives about 60 miles away and we meet 2 or 3 times a year and always pick up where we left off; sadly she is now quite incapacitated by the horrible MS. So, even though I am a very gregarious, social person, I suppose I am almost a 'Billy no Mates'. I was quite a lonely only child who was sent away to boarding school - perhaps that is why... sad

soontobe Sun 06-Sept-15 08:52:55

Aw sorry ninathenana. That was my question blush

All my kids are hundreds of miles away[their choice, jobs took them away]. Family and friends are nearby.

kittylester Sun 06-Sept-15 08:45:08

Sure you are not a Billy no Mates, * Nina*.

Both my brothers live about 40 minutes away, my favourite SiL lives nearly 3 hours away but I have two good friends on the same (long) road as us!

Children all live within easy visiting distance apart from DD2 who is 2 hours away!

ninathenana Sun 06-Sept-15 08:30:38

I have just replied to a post on the 'Ask a Question' thread and it makes me sound like 'A Billy no mates' grin
My nearest (geographically) relative (SiL) lives an hour and a half away. DH and her only speak to each other 2-3 times a year. I have two good friends one lives 40mins away and the other 2 hrs away. So I don't see them very much but we are in touch a couple of times a week. No, I don't live in the middle of nowhere smile I'm on the Kent coast.
How close geographically are your friends and family?