How are you?

I agree.
Imagine the reaction if "how are you?" elicited a detailed run down of all our ailments, you wouldn't see people for dust.
Specific questions show a more genuine awareness of how a person might be, but so often I just assume people want to hear "fine thanks!"
However I find it hard to produce an adequate instant response to the ubiquitous "All right?"

Fine, and you?
Fine thanks, and .... (Oh they've gone already)
[sigh]

Good post Teetime. Some people I know (not all) can't wait to be asked 'how are you?'. They then tell you all their troubles/triumphs, those of their family and neighbours and how the budgie has been doing and end the conversation without asking how you are. There is a lady I know who can't wait to get hold of you to tell you how her life is going. The last conversation I had with her was in our local pub. She saw us come in, picked up her drink and plonked herself down at our table and proceeded to tell us her troubles. This went on for about 20 minutes with me and DH sympathising and nodding. I was about to say a bit about us and she said 'anyway must go', picked up her drink and went back to her table! She knows my DH has cancer but didn't ask. However there are some lovely people who seem genuinely interested and I hope I am interested in how they are too. Like you, I try to remember if they have had anything happening that I will ask them about. A pet hate of mine is when I say to someone 'How are you?' and they reply 'Fine thanks' or something, without adding 'how about you?' My next door neighbour is a nightmare for this. My DH disappears to the shed when he knows she is coming. She can talk about herself for hours without ever asking how we are. I swear I could collapse in front of her and she would carry on talking! She is elderly so I just listen and nod. By the time she has left, I feel like screaming. Maybe I'm too sensitive.

It seems to be used as a form of greeting round here, and one that I never know how to reply to. Having worked at a surgery and been genuinely interested in how people are [except when I knew they were very poorly in which case it was better to talk as if they weren't ill at all]I often felt that I walked around with a hologram on my head [a la Red Dwarf] saying 'I listen to medical problems' because complete strangers would start telling me of their illnesses. I guess the answer to the OP is, though, that, yes, they are interested but don't want to spend half an hour being told every detail.Also, memories aren't always very good; in my youth I'd be horrified by people not remembering other peoples names and now I even forget names of people I know well.

I think we still do this, Teetime. It might be a fleeting "how are you?" to someone we don't know that well, but on the whole I tend to mention something specific and genuinely want to know. I think it's usually reciprocated too. I'm probably less likely to open up about myself and OH and will deflect the question to the enquirer and then wait to discuss their news with them. That is unless there is something they are aware of in my life and I know they are really interested.

'How are you?' seems to be the modern version of 'How do you do?'. The correct response to the latter is 'How do you do?', which I've always thought a little quaint, if not distinctly odd. But the point is, it was never intended as a query about how someone is 'doing'. So the 'how are you?' should be treated the same. I remember a friend always being careful never to ask her MiL how she was. Because, she said, she always tells you, in great and lengthy detail

I hate being asked this - as I have been unwell recently, I never know whether they genuinely want to know how things are or whether they want a bland "fine." If I just say fine, often they start asking for details of my decrepitudes as if I am not really answering the question.

I appreciate the thought behind the question, but would really rather talk about something jolly!

I always get caught on this one and start to tell people I've just had a cold or whatever, but I keep it short and would like to hear about their lives, but don't often get told at all.

What bugs me is the answer "I'm good"

It's even worse when a shop assistant/checkout staff ask how you are! My OH Has taken to replying, "Oh you should have seen me this morning, I was in a hell of a state, what with my etc etc" I just stand back and watch the stunned look on their faces, as they're struggling to think of a reply. It's just another ridiculous "script" situation where they've been instructed to ask

minimouse

I saw an etiquette pundit on the telly saying that the correct response to "how are you" is "how are you", but that seems inane to me. I usually reply "Fine, are you?", which I assume is a faux pas, as it's often met with silence.

If I'm feeling unwell I don't actually like being asked if I'm better, because it feels like "don't forget, your feeling unwell".

It always makes me feel uncomfortable when I hear phone-in contestants asking radio presenters how they are.

I always say ' fine thanks' and then say ' how about you?' I keep things brief if possible as I don't want to either bore with my troubles or be bored by theirs.

I've a friend who replies "I'm fine - frantic, intense, neurotic and emotional".

When I first started working in London and people would ask "You aw-wight?" without even looking at me I would wonder what they meant. Then I realised it's a greeting

Love that Grannyknot I'm going to use that next time I'm asked ,it certainly covers everything. Just got to remember it My usual response "ticking over, how about you?" My MIL used to reply "fair to middling"

An old auntie of mine always used to reply "As well as can be expected...", which was a bit of a conversation-stopper!

I never know what to say to my friend who has more than one life long debilitating conditions. She will never be 'fine' I usually say "How are you today" inquiring as to whether today is one of her better days. Unfortunately she likes to tell me in detail and invariably ends with 'oh well, that's my life'

Yes - as my mother used to say 'I asked her how she was, and she told me.'

GK had to laugh at "aw wight" it was a standard greeting of my yoof..
and some times forgetting I am now 150 miles away from where the cockneys grow,and 50 years older will utter to confused Norfokkers u awight.How ya doin is another of mine
If I am asked how I am" fine thanks" is all I will say don't want to bore the pants off people,then turn the tables and ask how they are.
Just remembered Micheal Barrymore used the catchphrase "u awight" and "u awight" are u "awight up the back there"..

Shop assistants and waiters all seem to say 'you all right there' when enquiring if I wish to be served. I sometimes say' I've got a headache' or something silly and then say 'Oh sorry did you mean did I want to buy something'. I've given up hoping for a Good Morning Madam Can I help you?'

Common greeting here is 'fit like?' which loosely translates as 'how are you doing?' The answer can be either 'nae bad' or 'tyauvin' (struggling) but whether the conversation proceeds is all in the intonation

If someone asked a friend of mine how his wife was, his stock answer was always 'better than nothing'

I knew a lovely lady who, when you gave to stock reply to 'How are you?' As 'Fine thanks' would follow it with 'But how are you really?' which was an invitation to unburden. She really cared. One of life's lovely people.

If someone says 'hi Val, how are you? I reply, not too bad thanks, still alive, better than the alternative. You ok? Then flow of normal conversation starts. Unless you are seriously ill no one is interested to hear about your cold, or bout of flu. Boring to the ear. It is just a polite way of a greeting. ☺

I've said a few times " I could complain" kinda stops them in their tracks when store clerks ask how I am.