Bit taken aback....

Give it time leurMamie that's exactly what my GS (8) did ask 'can I have your house when you die Nana?'

My 5-year-old grandson loves to use my manual paper-shredder (and he's a great help as I hate shredding all the bank statements at the end of the year). Last time he used it he said, quite matter-of-factly, "Mamie, can I have this when you die?" At least he's not after my house - yet!

We were looking after the Grandkids (9 & 5) at their Great Nanny's funeral following the cortege with them in our car. The youngest watched as the main man got out of the hearse in his tail suit with his top hat & cane and said "Why has that man got a stick? He's got the hat, is he going to say Here you are madam, have a new pet rabbit!" It certainly made everyone smile.

My Dgd asked my Ds if she could take a photo of him and her mum so she would 'remember them when they are dead' They are just 40.

I was 7. I knew that grandpa had died, though my parents said nothing to us. Off they went to the funeral, leaving us with other relatives. I asked my uncle straight out, and he confirmed that he had died. It was so difficult for that generation to talk of death and I never asked my parents why they hadn't told us about grandpa.

My 7 & 9 year old grandsons stretch the skin on my hands and say they look like teenagers hands again.

I think it is so much healthier than when I was young. My granddad died when I was 8 and I knew something was wrong as all the 'grown ups' were whispering and it was, obviously, an awful atmosphere but nobody told me for a long time. Children are very resilient, on the whole, and cope well with the truth rather than hiding things from them.

My father, 76, died 2 weeks ago from cancer, my children 3 and 1 are keeping us and my mum going, especially the 3 yr old. She knows grandad has died and is not coming back and as young children do is taking this very much in her stride. You can't be too melancholy when she says to nanny, "you won't see grandad today will you...will I be getting a new one? " .

Children of that age are wonderfully pragmatic about most things its only later that things get complicated. I love young childrens' honesty about life whether its the important or the everyday its so refreshing.

Its nice mummsy that your DGD thought you were once pretty but my son in law once said that when he saw a photo of me that my husband keeps in a frame.
When my MIL was in a care homw there were always large pictures on the wall of the person 'in their prime' Some were really lovely women and it did you good to see those photos although sad at what time does to you.

When I was about four, I asked why Granny wasn't coming to the park with us and was told that she wasn't feeling well. I patted her knee and said "Never mind Granny, you'll soon be dead"!

That reminds me winifred01 when one DGD looked at my wedding photo and having considered it for a moment said "You look beautiful Grandma" followed by What happened?" Took the wind out of my momentarily inflated sails!!

Brahaspatinda...Many thanks for the link. I've had a quick look and there's lots of useful advice and information there. Timely too, as I've been telling myself for ages that I really need to get my affairs in order....or risk the guilt of knowing that my kids would be left to clear up my clutter

About getting old, my granddaughter on looking at my wedding photos -Oh Grandma you were quite pretty once!

The other day, my DGS aged 8, speculating that his other grandma was likely to die before me, told me that he knows what happens when you die. 'You go to a church and afterwards there's food.' He got this from a friend at school he said. (DGS was definitely more interested in the food side of things.)

I think youngest and oldest think more matter-of-factly about death, a good thing in my book. Can I put in a (non-commission!) plug for my pal's terrific website, whch helps you plan your inevitable exit? www.finalfling.com starts with a wee explanatory video and underlines the message of living life to the full.

In the bathroom when my youngest DS was about 7 and cleaning his teeth I looked into the mirror and said, "Oh my goodness look at all these wrinkles!" To my horror he burst into tears and was inconsolable. Eventually he sobbed, "That means you're going to die." It took a long time to calm him down. That was 26 years ago and I'm still here and he's still living with me!

My youngest DGD (4) was looking into my eyes ( rather bloodshot after a poor night) and said, ' Your eyes are all cracked'. I stupidly said the first thing that came into my head, 'That's because I'm old'. Her reply was, 'Are you nearly dead then?'

on a visist to my nanas grave my son said he is becoming catholic and when I asked why he pointed to the catholic section of graveyard and commented on how empty it was .. his theory less catholics die. hmm

A small DS1 was talking about heaven, and said "And if God isn't in, we'll go somewhere else"

Most children go through a stage of talking about death, since they can't imagine not being here anymore, they can seem matter of fact about it, or simply think you are going to a fabulous place ( which is what we often tell them after all.) It can be a shock to the system when we first hear it ( intimations of mortality) but one of my DGS's says it so often I realise he just wants us to say ' don't worry, we are not going anywhere just yet'.We say this with fingers crossed.

I love his writing too, downtoearth although I haven't read the last one he wrote before he died, I must get round to ordering it.

BTW phoenix have read all of Deric Longden I love his gentle humour,and stories about his mum

I'm with you there, downtoearth. I wonder if that's why my family gave me such a good party for my 70th. .

16 year old has already decided what music she is having for me ..I like Rudimental and so she is having "feel the love" so she says she can imagine me jigging about in me box, actually would like to have a pre funeral send off so I can have the party while I am still here,and not the star of the show..