Wind in the willows!

Isn't it a fact that people get very windy at high altitude on long distance flights? I thought it was just me but I was told that it happens to everyone [I was relieved to hear it]. My hearing isn't as good as it was so, when it does happen when out and about I always hope that, as I didn't hear it, no one else did either. It does put me off exercise classes etc as being nervous makes it worse . onneker; you could have a good look at your diet and see if you can change it in some way. And they used to sell tablets called 'windcheaters' at one time; not sure if they still do. At least I often have the dog to blame....

I have enjoyed reading the jokes but slightly ruefully. I often have wind problems (sometimes I sound like a little two-stroke lawn mower walking down the road!) and I feel very embarrassed. I try to cover up the noise with coughs etc but I feel too uncomfortable about mentioning them. From the thread I can hear that some people would prefer me to mention them and apologise. What is the general feeling? Or does anyone know of a cure for wind and those terrible farts?

Why would anyone take my posts as being "crotchety"?

I think I'm in agreement with jingl on this one

Don't worry Judy, jbf is never upset, just crotchety sometimes.

At the risk of upsetting the lady above in this thread, I have to admit to laughing at the postings... and offering my own silly joke - on my first posting, too! ...

Man to colleague: "My GOD, man, have you just farted?"

Colleague: "Of course I have. I don't always smell like this"

I'll get my coat...

Has your sense of humour really stayed at the same place as your grandads?!

No. I think it's pathetic. Older people simply have less of the stuff (pro/pre biotic?) which helps move food through the digestive tract quickly, and therefore digestion is slower, with inevitable results. Why giggle?

But if your humour is still at schoolgirl level, I will leave you to it.

oh jings lighten up, I thought this thread was funny, especially the description by phoenix of the clinking mugs . Maybe I am childish but a good laugh as I read this thread. My Grandad used to tell the bath joke, in his version the butler brought in a hot water bottle having thought his lordship had said 'wharabourawarrabottle'. Grandad also used to say, if he heard wind that there was 'many a good tune wasted'. I can remember the desperate clenching at the end of yoga classes....it rather spoils the relaxation of it all!

Surely some people cannot help it?

I've seen even more trivial threads.

I don't think this was worth starting a thread over. You were in the countryside enjoying a walk. Why bother to comment on somelthing so trivial.

"sheer embarrassment"? Grow up perhaps?

Only a few weeks ago I was in a friend's car going out for coffee when one of the silent but deadly filled the car and it WASN'T ME. It was a very long five or so minutes as it was trapped.

I was brought up to politely ignore such events and certainly never to make jokes about it.

LOL

Luckily it was - well whatever you call the opposite of a silent but deadly!

I think the best thing to do with unacknowledged farts is to ignore them,
Unless you are overcome by the gas and need air!

So funny! Phoenix the story of the man in your office made me laugh, hilarious.

@Phoenix -- In one vbersion of that classic tale, the servant/batman is called Wibble, and the old boy asks him "What about a water-bottle, Wibble?"
Still cracks me up!

There is that old story about Queen Victoria farting during a meal and pretending that the footman had done it, turning to him and saying "Stop it." The reply was:"Certainly madam - which way did it go?"

I don't think I will every wear Crocs again

Hot day in the garden....sweaty feet.... delivery man....signed for parcel....turned to go

Why did it have to be so much louder than the real thing??

I had heard that one with a 'soda water bottle' instead. Great joke though! Farting just is funny!

I thought that was the joke about the man in the bath...

Erm, shysal I just did, up there^

Phoenix, please do tell the joke about the man in the bath!
I walk with a friend every Sunday morning. She farts the whole time. Her hearing is not good, so she either thinks I can't hear, or doesn't know she is doing it. I have never mentioned it, as I know she would be mortified!
I did once let one off while stretching at the end of a class. Fortunately the music was loud, so I carried on regardless!

An elderly gentleman of means was taking a bath, as his valet stood on side to ensure the gent got in without any problems. He managed to do this and said "You may go now Perkins"

The old chap was somewhat disconcerted when the valet came back into the room bearing a silver salver with a lid.

The gentleman asked "What on earth have you got there Perkins?"

The valet lifted the lid and said, "It's what you ordered Sir, as I left the room after asking if there was anything else you required, I distinctly heard you say "A bottle of bovril and a hot water bottle"