Bit of a dilemma

I think if you'd quite like to go then you should go. As sunseeker found, some occasions that I haven't been looking forward to have turned out to be surprisingly enjoyable (and vice versa!).

You answered your own question, you sort of want to go, so do so. It would not be my thing as I loathe BBQs and my digestion would not tolerate it.

Oooops I'm rubbish at punctuation lol. Put your own in and see how many meanings my last post can have lol.

Why not go and if you need to explain you've had a call away text have have to leave?

I am not a party person, whereas my DH was very sociable. Some months after his death I was invited to a party by people we had both known but who were really his friends. I was reluctant to go knowing everyone there would have known my DH better than I. I went with the intention of making excuses and slipping away early. I actually had a very good time, with everyone recalling some funny occasion involving my DH (he had a great sense of humour). I know this is somewhat different from your situation but you may find you are able to join in with memories of 'Ann' and her DH, perhaps how you introduced them!

I would go you have DH to talk to . Barbecues are usually very informal and it's easy to mix and talk to lots of people if you want to. You can obviously make polite goodbyes whenever you want as it's not a sit down meal. Do whatever feels ok

The only people we will know are 'Ann' and her DH

Ok jings not using real names.
Sally (S) is my friend. Our mutual friend is Ann, I know her through Sally (they went to school together) it's Ann's 60th. Ann's DD Lucy messaged me on FB to invite DH and I. I should have said it's a surprise party that Ann knows nothing about.

Just pop in for a quick drink on your way to pressing appointment!

I find that OP very confusing. "a friend of a friend"? Whose DD did the inviting? And who is 'S'? Totally

I wouldn't go because bbqs are awful.

If you have been invited by the hosts DD I would go. They clearly wish your company, otherwise they would not have invited you.
Once there see how the evening pans out, you may meet some really interesting people.
If it is too boring, make your excuses and leave early.

It's not unusual for people not to know everyone at parties or gatherings, especially if you are the invited persons partner.

Go and enjoy!
X

I'm afraid I probably would be reluctant to go, and would then feel bad that I'd let an opportunity for a pleasant time slip through my fingers. So I'd go...and tell myself that a barbecue is actually an easy event when you don't know anyone, as there is such a lot of moving about to get food, check on the cooking, admire the garden etc etc that you could happily end up having some very nice conversations

So go!

I've reached the age where I never accept an invitation if I don't know anyone. It's hard work trying to make conversation with strangers and unless there's definitely something in it for me, I CBA.

Different when I was younger. Making an effort often resulted in lovely friendships.

If you 'sort of want to go' ninathenana then go, I'm sure everyone will be very friendly and you'll have a great time helping someone celebrate their special day and you did introduce your friend and her DH to each other.

* Nina* the simple answer is to do whatever you want to do.