Wedding presents

A friends DD got married last year after 8 yrs and two children. They put a note in with the invite along the lines of.... After many years and two adorable daughters we have all the little things, but some of the larger ones need replacing. We would be very grateful for your contributions towards replacing those. I didn't object to that. I do object to not having received an acknowledgment !!

Think we have got of lightly of late but my daughters' generation seem to go in for far flung locations and expect guests to travel and stay over AND pay all the costs, often having done similar for the preceding Hens and Stags. That is a bridge too far methinks.

This happens a lot here in Malta. You open the invitation and down flutters a little card saying something to the effect of ' although the greatest gift would be your presence at our wedding, monetary gifts would be greatly appreciated'. My late DH used to say 'why don't they just print 'entrance fee 50 euro each' on the bottom of the invite '

This does seem to be the way things are done now. I don't really think it is right to ask for money. We are going to a young relative's wedding soon. They have asked for money towards the honeymoon, in an exotic location, which I believe is already booked.

We would have sent JL vouchers, but have now sent a cheque to the same value.

I'm wondering what event I can ask them to, so that they pay for the hotel costs we incur in getting to their wedding!
x

As Anya says....its all in the asking...just a bold request on the 'Save the date card/Invite is just plain bad manners. A proper conversation with guests...as in the case of step son & fiancé is quite different. We were all individually asked, that as they pretty much had everything and had been saving up for the honeymoon (US road trip) they would appreciate 'contributions for spending money' which we all felt was a modest request and were more than happy to give generously, as was everyone else.

It could be poetically Merlot

Do come to our wedding dear friends
And help us tie the knot.
We bought all our odds and ends
And everything we need we've got.
So as we fly off to our honey...
Moon, do come and handover some money.

Personally I don't like giving cash, I was put off when at the last wedding an accompanying note said 'suggested amount £50 - 100 per couple'!

And having never received any acknowledgement let alone thanks I was told that guests didn't give enough to cover the two weeks in Bali

I prefer to give a gift token for John Lewis or suchlike.

I'm afraid I would take no notice unless it was a close relative. I heard of a wedding where the bride and groom had been living together for some time and they put a post box in the entrance hall of their Saturday reception for money and cheques to be placed in it. They then went and booked a last minute honeymoon with the takings on the Monday morning.

And before anyone reminds me that in Greece it's traditional to pin money on the bride and groom.....Look where that got them!

They might have politely asked for cash but I think it's a bit of a cheek. If they have everything they need for their home you are probably contributing towards their honeymoon.

Call me old fashioned but they are missing the point. Giving a present was to help a young couple set themselves up in their first home.

No need to do that these days.

#cartbeforehorse

Good idea kittylester.

What you would have spent on a present seems a good rule of thumb.