Small children attacking each other

And although violence begets violence small children who have never had a hand lifted against them still manage to inflict pain on others and aren't very impressed by being asked nicely to stop.

We all know that violence begets violence and solves nothing but when a furious 6 year old is breaking her small sister's arm, silly me didn't think of reasoning with her, just stopping her immediately.

Young children have to learn.Too many parents want to be friends with their own children. it doesn't work.

Good tip anya will bear that one in mind as GS currently 3 years gets older. He already 'tries it on' with me but is heartbroken if I tell him off!

Yes, 'Oi!' In a certain tone works well for me too. Now that they're too old for the naughty step it's morphed into the 'thinking step' so if the first or second 'Oi!' doesn't work then they're invited to sit there until they figure out what Nana's on about.

There's no time set but they have to come to me and explain why they're there. Dubious explanations get them sent back to re-examine their behaviour which puts the ball firmly in their court.

It's funny to watch their faces as the eventually accept that the will have to own up to their bad/unthinking/over boisterous behaviour before they can be 'released'

True, Bags. I had occasion to yell 'Oi!' and give my 'nana look' a few times yesterday when boisterous 6 year olds were wrestling each other to the ground (one got hurt), kicking the ball into next door's garden, chucking said ball onto the garage roof to see if it would roll off or not, and charging through the flowerbeds whilst claiming 'we're allowed.' 'You're not much fun today, nana' complained the boys when I grassed them up to mum and clarified the rules i.e. not allowed to do any of those things. They acknowledged they already knew, but thought it was worth testing with me Sheepish looks, apologies and cuddles and mum promised withdrawal of privileges if they didn't comply. I can't see where a smack, however light, would make sense when telling children they shouldn't hurt each other or behave badly. My grandchildren would definitely see the hypocrisy in that.

I always found a loud "Oi!" was effective. Kids know when they're being naughty. Mostly.

Am I right in thinking parents can smack but no one else?

Sorry my last response was in response to Anya's "Kiddies on the loose." exams are nearly over they will start in earnest.

We might have to get back to our tactics of "watching paint dry" and pencil museums. It seemed to be very effective on the recent school shoes issue.

If used sparingly a short, sharp smack on the hand or the back of the leg can be effective especially if the child is doing something dangerous and you need to stop them instantly. You can then explain and discuss the behaviour.

Looks like the kiddies are loose again!

And what do you class as a decent area ~ stuck up or what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Find out who the brat is give it a slap and punch the mother

There was a recent press report of a mother who gave her three year old a single slap on the hand as they were leaving a shop. An observer reported this to the police and the mother was questioned by them. She was exonerated when she explained that her child had taken a bar of chocolate from a shelf. The slap, and being made to reurn the bar of chocolate, were intended to deter the child from taking anything in the future.

rosesared I would prefer to say smacking is "not illegal" rather than say it is legal. That is nitpicking but there is a subtle difference.
But that there are far better ways of dealing with a childs naughty behaviour.

I think that sometimes in a potentially dangerous situation a smack is the best way to put a stop to something instantly. Once you are out of that situation it can be talked through for as long as necessary.

A couple of times now GS3 who is 18 months old has hit his cousin who is 10 months older very hard. Now we know this may happen we are watching for it and hoping to diffuse their arguments more peacefully.

Smacking children here in England is legal btw so nobody has to feel worried , if they think a smack is called for.
Children hitting biting or kicking each other does happen at playgroup now and then and even the best run ones can't see or prevent it happening all the time.That doesn't mean they should absolve themselves though, and they will no doubt keep an eye on the perpetrator in the future.

I'm with you apricot very occasionally that is simply the best solution. I do stress very occasionally - and I am assuming it was a smack on the leg or bottom rather than a smack round the head!!!! Like everything in life there are grey areas and people have strong views about punishment. Personally I always thought (and still do) that a short sharp smack to show the severity of the misdemeanour (ie damaging someone else or putting themselves in danger - running into the road etc.) was preferable to a packet of sweets and a "there there" approach. Time enough for that when the perpetrator had had it explained to him/her and repented. Hang me now!!!

It's not always someone else's child, one of my grandchildren attacked her own sister so savagely that, alarmed and needing to stop her, I smacked her. I know a smack is now equated with GBH but it did stop a potential serious injury.

Do you know what actually happened? I just wonder if a toy got thrown and your GS happened to be caught by it. Accidents do happen and it seems a shame to label a child without all the information.

If a child bites it doesn't necessarily mean it is their fault, they may have been bitten and think it is what people do. My GS bit someone at a party, we don't know why, but it was dealt with and he hasn't done it again.

Children do all sorts of things we find unacceptable but it is what we do about it which matters. I find it very hard to blame a 3 year old for anything.

I hope you GS is fine.

Thank you Anya and Trisher, that is helpful, its only a small play group, I didnt realise my grandson would have a key worker.

I am sure the problem wasn't a child on the autism spectrum hildajenni, I have two friends with autistic grandchildren and have been impressed with the care given in primary school, including a small tent for one of them where he can go if he needs to retreat.

My DGD's nursery has an excellent recording system where any marks on a child for any reason are marked on a sheet of paper with a simple body outline once they are noticed. This includes marks the child may arrive at nursery with and bumps and bruises which happen but aren't reported at the time because they seem to be minor. This may seem a bit over the top but it is very reassuring for parents who worry about their children.