Getting words wrong

I knew a very nice lady who used to spray her armpits with 'de-rodent' ... and she worried about her son who had 'an athletic foot' (presumably the other foot just lounged around all day...).

My friend ran the local Brownie pack and, at one time had two little Brownies called Darcey and Alice. All went well until one evening when she shouted across the hall " Dalice and Arcey!" Very embarrassed Brown Owl!

Like loopylou (18-May-15 16:26:28) I had a surname incident once. At the time I was working in a travel office and a regular customer was called Mr Glasscock. It happened that I had never had occasion to address him by name or to use his name in his hearing until one memorable day. While he was in the office I had to ring an airline about his booking and was inevitably asked for the client's name. I replied 'Glasscock' pronounced phonetically. "It's 'Glassock' ", he hissed at me, "Glassock!" Very mortifying

And again, like loopy apologies to anyone with that name

suzied 'dire rear' how hilariously appropriate!!!

Me yesterday to DGD on picking her up from school.... "so, were all the girls practicing cartstands and hand wheels today?"

Back in the 70's when sex scenes wasn't an everyday occurrence on TV, a very prim and proper colleague was describing an 'outrageous' scene from a play she'd see on TV the previous night. 'Do you know' she said, ' the woman was laying on the sofa with the man on top and as the camera panned into his face you could see he was having an organism.'

My students in Kenya (depending on which tribe) had problems with L and R. Lorry became Rolly. And when we were discussing current affairs, 'The French had a presidential erection'.

DD has never been able to say lorry, always lolly, I find it funny that she married a 'lolly' driver.

KateK That's hilarious.

It's sometimes the intonation/context rather than the wrong word that causes hilarity. We were all out for an Italian meal one evening and my brother asked the waitress 'how big are your tiramisus?' It turned into one of those oo-er missus moments and has gone down in family legend.

I used to mark a lot of exam papers. One of my favourites was describing someone with depression as " having a low self of steam" . Also the child who was off school,with "dire rear" .

It's Tossa de Mar

I used to say "mind of information" instead of "mine of information". Mine made more sense to me then and it does now.

Thanks FlicketyB

Loopylou Your Mil wasn't far out, 'Tossa del Mar' situated north of Barcelona.

And my gran's neighbour used to speak about a "doggy dog world."

Ddil on first encountering mangetout referred to them as mangy toots.

Another friend lived next door to newly installed (if you know what I mean) female Vicar. Friend was out in the garden when the window cleaner came round, and was a tad disconcerted to hear Lady Vicar striding down the path shouting "Get your ladder out of my bush"!

Colleague I worked with many years ago said quite seriously "my dads favourite nipple is drambuie".......

A young relative drew her granny a lovely picture of some animals. There was a horizontal line and some thing unrecognisable drawn underneath it. Granny asked what was it? The young girl said " a bu**er, granny".
Granny was somewhat shocked and speechless.

" you know Granny, a bu**er that lives in a hole under the ground."

She of course meant a Badger. When not in polite company we refer to Badgers by their alternative name! x

My boss's mother said her neighbour was very useful when she wanted a screw!

A Domestic Science teacher I knew pronounced her surname Diggins as De'Guyane.
DS won't even attempt to say binoculars (he calls then biknockulares), chimneys are always called chiminies)
Dear mum's bloomers include dommytoss for Domestos and saying they went to Tosser del Mer (presumably somewhere in Spain, Tosca del Mer?)

An unfortunate surname I totally cocked up was Swarbrick - I yelled across the farmyard to DH that 'Mr. X. Smallprick' was on the phone. DH just couldn't talk to him, or face him later. It was so hard trying to keep a straight face.

Apologies to anyone with that surname

My mother, asking a young man in Iceland if he had melon balls...........

DBH was replacing the immersion heater and using a very large spanner. DD2 aged about 2 looked at said spanner and said 'Daddy, what big nuts you have!'