is this really sexist - someone has to be first

I like having and using a courtesy title, but I don't care whether people call me Mrs or Ms.
It's all very well being addressed on envelopes by your first name and surname, but what happens in speech or in newspaper reports if you don't use a courtesy title?
In speech, you get addressed by your first name by people who don't know you. I think it's actually quite useful to have alternative forms of address for people to differentiate and indicate different levels of intimacy - title and surname for people who you don't know well, first names for people you know better, and shortened forms for people who you know really well or for who you feel particular affection.
It always grates with me when I read articles in the press when people are referred to by their surname only - I think it's inappropriate unless it's referring to someone committed of a crime.
#callmeoldfashioned

What's in a name, an old girl by any name would be as sweet.
Many years ago my husband an I were guests at a Dinner and he was introduced (because we lived in a high immigrant area) as Mr. X and his memsahib. I thought it was funny.

My dil retained her maiden name. I at first assumed that this was because she attained her professional qualifications in her maiden name and so she would continue to be known as Dr. xxxxxx. However I have come to think that she simply retained her own name. I am happy to say that my dgs has taken the surname of my ds, with his mother's surname as a middle name.

I miss out the Mrs bit on everything online. Virtually all post comes to me without a title now. I think it will die out eventually. My grandparents found it offensive if anyone not family used their first names, it was apparently a hangover from the days when only servants were addressed in that way. The next generation wished to be known by their Mrs., according to my mother, because they felt superior to their unmarried peers! I thought that was awful, so like many of my friends I became Ms. That is still my title on my bank accounts.

Then along came DBH, and he always put me down as Mrs. if I wasn't around, he said that he was proud to have a wife, when I got annoyed about it, so I let him get on with it.

Incorrect spelling of a name is maddening. Our school English mistress drove that point home time and again. I detest being Mrs followed by husbands initial. I always just call myself joe blogs ( not literally but you know what I mean). When booking something,where they just want a name for reference I,e, Sunday lunch I just say joe (again, ditto), I never address envelopes to friends or acquaintances of either sex except with a simple joe bloggs.
On a slughtly different tack, we bought out first house in1970. Housing was scarce and property got scooped up quickly. Having been pipped at the post by quite a few I walked into one estate agents and offered my deposit having viewed the house that morning. As I was female he could not accept it without my husband being present. Even though the money was my own!! He did me a special " favour" as I'd been disappointed a few times and while rejecting my deposit, said he would reserve it pending my husband,s visit the next day. He had to take time off work to do so. How insulting!! I suppose I should have said I was single.
I dont get annoyed with the appellation Mrs with husband initial if he's included but hate being Mrs - his initial - our surname when it's just me. But in the grand scheme of things this isnt a very important issue.

Like Mollie says, it's just an old fashioned way of doing it. Doesn't bother me. I'm a Mrs because I'm married and I don't mind if they use my initial or my husband's. I do object if they get my name wrong. I have a very simple, easy to spell Christian name and surname but they're often spelt incorrectly.

but surely it is not 'sexist' just old-fashioned. and I don't understand why they are so angry about it on mumsnet.
as I said in the original post
it should be Name (Christian), Initial and surname for everyone - male and female or whatever
so I am always (if someone asks my name) Mollie 'Lurch' - of course I then usually get asked Ms or Mrs which may be a valid question if relevant to what I am trying to do. - have been trying to use my name as name/surname only for the last 40 years but the old-fashioned idea persists.
maybe people feel that is too familiar but it is my name

It annoys me intensely. I am Ms. never Mrs. I would be incensed to be addressed as Mrs 'husband's initial' 'surname'. Maybe it's not important in the grand scheme of things but it is to me. It smacks of property and loss of identity on marriage - surely not relevant in the 21st century? If I was getting married today I wouldn't dream of giving up my name. Too late, alas.

She should just tell them that she is "Buyer 1" and ask to have the paperwork altered. When I bought our car, the garage were slightly perplexed that we bought and insured it in my name. There was no particular reason for this - I just happened to be the one filling in the form.

I'm not too bothered about who comes first, I don't like it when I get mail addressed to me with my husband's initial before my name. I understand why some women want to hang on to their maiden name, mine was foreign and having had a lifetime of being mispronounced, these things matter when you are growing up, I was happy to off load it, although retaining a maiden name you are still opting for a man's name, father's over husband. I often sign just my name, I don't feel I should have to declare my marital status by putting a Mrs in brackets as well.