Is wolf-whistling a sex crime?

I would be very sad to see Pompa go. He seems to be a kind, caring and considerate man with a good sense of humour. IMO he did nothing to deserve the [virtual] put down that came his way. I would leave GN if I was him but I sincerely hope he doesn't as we would be much the poorer if we lost one of our most regular male posters.

There is too much vitriol nowadays on GN and we have lost some of our best characters because some people will not let a subject drop and are unable to see things from any other point of view but their own prejudiced position. It must be wonderful to be so certain of one's own opinion!

As usual, Elegran's post is full of wisdom!

trisher My point was that "even" faithful, happily married men can appreciate that pretty girls, characterful girls, competent women, all kinds of women, can be attractive. They don't need to be lustful Lotharios for that. There does seem to be an assumption in some quarters that either all men who are not saints are just itching to harass every woman/girl they see - particularly the young pretty ones. That is why I mentioned only the pretty ones. They get most attention from the Lotharios.

it is not true that all men react the same way. There is a spectrum of attitudes, from complete disinterest (that does not mean the same as uninterest) in any but their own partner to thinking that all females are put on this earth for men to use as toys.

I haven't contributed to this thread yet but one thing I have noticed on this and other threads is that pompa's postings have changed somewhat. Lately he has taken great pleasure in poking an ants nest and then when others object he runs off to claim sanctuary in the safety of another thread where he's feted with virtual cups of tea and shortbread. Unfortunately, unable to resist the lure of the wooden spoon, he doesn't stay long and returns to repeat the performance.

Sorry if this not a popular opinion but it's been getting predictable and tedious.

I left this thread a while ago - in fact I had typed a reply to pompa taking issue (in a jokey fashion) about his use of the word 'dithering' - women don't dither, they compare prices and look for good value! However I lost the post, at least I don't think it is there. However, this is an argument I have with DH, he says I dither, I say I am considering the options.

I thought his post was tongue-in-cheek and taking the mickey out of his own sex. We all know that people of either sex glance at other people they find attractive (whether that person is conventionally goodlooking or not) - some do it surreptitiously and some more overtly (those are the ones that my DDs would call 'sleaze balls'). I have heard women say 'he's a bit of all right!' Or, as someone I know used to say 'I wouldn't kick him out of bed' - not that she would go any further than saying that, she was totally monogamous and it was said in a jokey fashion to other women.

It's the way the world goes round and it is only when it goes over a certain line of mutual respect that it is wrong and starts to be intimidating.

You are not allowed to judge me jingl

The wasn't aimed at your post merlotgran, just at the way the thread has gone! Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I am not surprised the original OP has retired.

GrannyTwice Fri 01-May-15 22:00:11

Frankly I think this post verges on slander.

Well said rosequartz of your 11:33:57 post.
DH and I were talking about the story of Poppy earlier, and attitudes towards either sex looking at the opposite sex. We can't work out how you can get to know another person if you don't look at them, therefore looking is natural!
Enough women enjoy looking at male film stars etc without being accused of being sexist!
It's when behaviours overstep the mark that sexism kicks in.
He openly admits enjoying looking at attractive females as do, IMO, virtually all other men; this is hardly leching or lusting most of the time.

Can you clarify how it verges on slander, please ll? Ive looked at that post a few times but I'm not seeing what you do. Thanks.

I expect everyone has read the article posted in their mailboxes by GN . WOW I am accused of lying by Elegran and of complaining about 'Poor Poppy' to GN by Ana?!What weird reactions.

If you're referring to the GN weekly newsletter, amarmai, the only relevant article is a report in the Guardian linked to this thread. No comment is made or opinion given by GNHQ as to the rights or wrongs of the case.

Sorry, that should have been the Independent, not the Guardian.

I thanked GN for emailing US a pro Poppy article. You accused me of tattling to them ?! Sounds like kindergarden. Now you are misinterpreting what i posted and ignoring your attack on me. I thought personal attacks were not allowed on GN ? But you do say 'sorry' for getting the wrong paper !

As for Pompa and his posts he may be joking, but he should recognise that if the joke isn't appreciated the best thing to do is apologise and try to make a serious contribution, not storm off.

But it was appreciated by some of us!
I can't see why he should apologise and I can quite see why he went-why do you have to fit in with a few people because they get the most unpleasant?
Why do we have to make serious contributions all the time? I welcome some light hearted ones.

As usual, Elegran's post is full of wisdom!

I second that.

What was this post of yours supposed to mean, then?

amarmai Fri 01-May-15 15:27:34

'thank you GN admin for making clear that Poppy should not be attacked and that the behaviour of the aggressive man on the building site was wrong and needed to be addressed.'

That was a deliberately misleading statement. GNHQ have not made anything clear, they gave a link to a newspaper article. They have not expressed any view or made any comment, as I said before.

I agree Leticia
I for one will miss pompa's contributions, serious or lighthearted.

Hi Pompa take no notice, go out and enjoy yourself with Mrs P. Sit outside with a cup of coffee or beer and watch the world go by. Life's to short to worry what other people think. Best wishes

Clearly a pro Poppy article indicates a pro Poppy attitude. You chose to misinterpret and to accuse me of complaining to GN. Also clearly you will not apologise but continue to look for ways to justify yourself. BTW the vote on the GN post is 85 for Poppy and 15 against.The accusation that i was lying by Elegran is also being ignored .

Oh Lor' feeling left out again (#cliquesagainIsuppose) what article, what email,( "thank you GN admin for making clear Poppy should not be attacked / emailing US a pro Poppy article" ) what mailbox,? I don't even seem to get the newsletter any more, was it something I said?
Spoiled my morning amarmai

What am I supposed to apologise for? If you don't make it clear that you're talking about the GN Newsletter, not an email giving GNHQ's own personal opinion, then you have only yourself to blame if your posts are 'misinterpreted' amarmai.

Come down off your high horse amarmai and stop raising the ante on a thread that is already too heated for comfort. No-one is accusing you of lying or any other dreadful misdemeaner, but your post did imply that you had had a personal message from Gransnet approving YOUR comments at the expense of everyone else's. No-one is able to verify or contradict such a statement, as a private message is just that, private.

Now that you have made it clear that it was the link to an article, which we can all read and then can comment on with equal knowledge, we are all a lot wiser. Was that article written by Gransnet, incidentally? If not, why are you attributing it to them?

Correction - not everyone gets the newsletter, and not everyone who gets it reads it the moment it thuds through the email letterbox. Some people were still commenting on the original post at the start of the thread, or replying to other comments on the thread.

I agree merlot. Though I don't think it's a recent development.

Perhaps Mrs Pompa will have a turn on here instead.

Fourteen pages. Wonder how long this extended edition will last? Anyone else want to join in and keep the temperature up, or can we all go off for a cuppa and rest out typing fingers?

soon It was a good judgement.

OFGS! armarmai

I will take the compliment, but it is not allowed either