Hope it can rose!
Gransnet forums
Chat
Modern babies
(57 Posts)Today I met a two months old baby called Pixy, which would be cute for a puppy. Her tiny feet were strapped into plastic sandals.
I wondered what her grandmothers thought about her mother's parenting style. Have any of you had to bite your tongues not to criticise your grandchildren's upbringing?
Just putting the clock in the window to see if it can catch up!
You are ahead of me, anyway 
but then most people are!
How odd rose. Perhaps my granddaughter gets her cleverness from me!
Well, that was clever, KatyK you posted at 17.18.17 and my clock says 17.15! 
It is one of those which takes the time from satellite so 
Occasionally but we have one grandaughter, she is 14 and she is beautiful, kind, polite and clever! Yes I know I would say that but she is. So they have not gone too far wrong.
Both GDs present themselves wearing very interesting outfits of their choice but they are happy healthy bunnies so I don't give a hoot what they wear unlike my Mother who would have insisted on coordinated proper outfits!
I did bite my tongue on the rare occasion when GD1 was born but soon realised I could possibly be conceived by DD1 as undermining her choice of parenting albeit I thought I was giving good advice for her benefit so I stopped and quite rightly thought, her baby, her choices.
It did help to remind myself how annoyed I would have been had anyone interfered with my parenting choices.
It was still pink for girls and blue for boys when mine were tiny. I remember an older lady peering into the pram at my DD who was wearing hand knitted pink matinee coat and matching hat curtsey of my mum.
"Oh, that's what I like to see. A baby dressed so I know if it's a boy or girl" Maybe this is part of the origin?
DS was often mistaken for a girl as he sat beaming in his pram with his blond curls - and dressed in blue boys' clothes!
He is very embarrassed to be reminded of this lol
AshTree
. One of my gorgeous girls was always mistaken for a boy when she was a baby. I'd have happily stuck a headband on her if it had been the way then!
We took DGS2 for a family meal in an Italian restaurant when he was 6 months old. My DD1 had popped a flowery headband on him for fun just as the lovely Italian waiter decided to scoop him up and parade him round the restaurant while we ate. We tried to say he was a boy, but there followed a lot of cooing and clucking over the bellissima bambina!
I don't like headbands on bald little baby girls either, rosequartz, but I do understand why mums do this. I remember asking a young mum with a cute little baby in a pushchair, "what's his name?" She replied, "her name is Arabella"
. She was very nice about it, but I felt so bad. A little later on we passed her in the street and her little girl was now sporting a pretty flowery headband.
Marmight, your rag bag comment struck a chord with me! My GDs have always been allowed to choose what to wear at weekends and school holidays, and sometimes their outfits are a sight to behold!
Very often inappropriate for the weather as well, but they don't seem to care.
Pierced ears, shoes on babies who can't toddle, headbands on bald little girl babies, the list goes on.
No, none of my DGC thank goodness, but you do see them when you're out!
Where do I begin - but my Gks are growing into charming children so I'm glad I kept it zipped when they were babies.
I only once gave unasked for advice and that was the idea that reins would be a good idea for the toddler. It was not well received and was seen as "careless parenting."
Some weeks later my Gs arrived wearing a backpack shaped like a dog with a tail that the parent could hold onto.
Reins by any other name.
I said nothing except "what a good idea."
Occasionally, is the answer.
I love the freedom my gc's have, unlike my own children as I was too busy worrying about their safety. I have 8 gc's from 3 DD's. The main worry I have is the use of iPads/pods and electronic games. Sending a 2 year old to bed with a movie on an iPad in order to get her to sleep just doesn't sit right with me
. DD knows this but says it's preferable to 3 hours of screaming.....
My Oz gc's play outside all day, barefoot, and I wince as they hurtle about: only one has come to grief so far with a nail stuck in the sole of the foot.
2 gc's look as if they have been dressed out of a rag bag. They are 2 and 5 and can wear what they like - amazing choice of colour and pattern and mixture of summer/winter. Yesterday the 5 yr old wore a skimpy summer dress and fur lined boots.
I do sometimes give 'advice' which is not always appreciated but is occasionally accepted!
So long as they are happy, healthy, safe and loved, then I am happy.
I admire my DD and SiL as they are raising a daughter and three sons. The boys all appear to have ASDs. DGS1 has been diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome DGS2 appears to have high functioning autism but as yet is undiagnosed (awaiting appointment), and DGS3 does a lot of head banging and has other traits that lead us to believe that he is on the spectrum too. At present DD is floundering and SiL is away at sea with his job. He may be home at the end of May. I onlybwish I lived closer to them so that I could help out more. I'm glad DD trusts me with them, and I am learning so much about autism that I didn't know. We barely touched on it when I did my training. (Rmn).
I think my sons and their wives are better at raising their children than I was. I managed and got better at parenting, but it didn't come naturally initially.
Their 'way' is more open and relaxed, which makes for happy children. If I were to start over, I'd learn a lot from their style of parenting.
MiL was always on about getting my DSs to wear slippers around the house. I turned my usual deaf ear and now that they are middle aged men, I still cannot recall seeing either of them wearing slippers, though one of them is devoted to his Crocs.
Their children, their choice. That's it exactly.
I remember seeing babies wearing soft pram shoes when mine were little, I didn't see the need and bought shoes once they were walking.
My mother frequently doled out unsolicited advice most, if not all of which I ignored. Whenever I've been tempted to do the same I recalled how I felt and saved my breath.
That is the key phrase Absent isn't it'? " Her kids, her choice"
Too easy to butt in and give unwanted and unjustified opinions, so granny's lips should stay buttoned!
Coolgran That (4th child) is pretty much how I did it. When a child is learning to walk, he/she will be restricted rather than helped by shoes. Absentdaugher did much the same thing with walking. She used to take herself around the room with the aid of the dining chairs set back – safely against the wall so that they didn't tip over. One day, at about 10 months, she realised that she couldn't use that technique if she had a toy in each hand, so she just strode across the room. I also breastfed for two and a half years – towards the end it was just a token suck at bedtime. My ma thought I was bonkers but never criticised or interfered. Absentdaughter follows some but not all of my pattern. They are her kids, her choice and they are terrific and healthy.
I have 4 Dgc to 3 sons and can't complain about their parenting. Yet they are being brought up differently by each of the three sons.
3 in a somewhat traditional fashion.
The 4th is very different. No shoes of any type until walking at 15 months.
No encouragement to walk or walking aids... (to promote a stronger back) and then one day dgs, in the middle of the room, stood up and took six steps, no tottering. Was running in a week.
No haircut.. beautiful blonde curls at shoulder level.
No consideration given to putting together an 'outfit' when dressing. Whatever is clean and near to hand will suffice, regardless of colour or pattern.
No processed food at all in his diet, he's 19 months.
No childcare from outside. Mum reaches parttime in uni (hours to suit herself) and dad can work from home 2 days a week.
Still co sleeping.
This took a bit of getting used to
but when visiting for three weeks we smiled and did exactly as mum and dad did it.
All 4 are good children ...Well, one is more of a rebel than the others and will need pulled to heel soon. !!!
Never had a problem with way in which GC are raised, they are fine. A visit to town or the local seaside is a totally different ball game though, children dressed as if they were miniature street walkers, what are the mothers thinking of ?
Laying in bed thinking about this and I can't think of anything that DD does regarding the children that I have to bite my tongue over.
Now if we were talking about her housekeeping, that would be a different matter 
Occasionally, over very minor items, but generally I think DS and DDiL are doing brilliant job of parenting, at times far better than I managed.
Join the conversation
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join the discussion, watch threads and lots more.
Register now »Already registered? Log in with:
Gransnet »

